Time Out

[titchy]

Does anyone still use time out? Im not keen on it even tho it seems effective but just wondering what eveyone elses thought are? I mean ive got the pre-school learning alliances policies and it suggest trying to understand children and the rollercoaster of emotions they have to learn to deal wiv. Wots everyones elses thoughts.

[Guest]

I don't really like the idea of a "time out" punishment so I try to make it more of a change of focus. Not sit here and be punished but come here and we will do this puzzle or look at this book quietly. But it does depend on what has happened and how often it has happened.

[Guest jenpercy]

I don't really like the idea of a "time out" punishment so I try to make it more of a change of focus. Not sit here and be punished but come here and we will do this puzzle or look at this book quietly. But it does depend on what has happened and how often it has happened.

 

Of course, I deal with slightly older children, but especially with my younger end 4 - 5 time out is not a punishment, it is agiving children time to reflect on what they have done. for liitle ones, we hardly ever insist on the time bit. The call for time out is just to get them to stop wahtever it was and then we will talk to them as soon as we think that they havegot out of the mindset.

 

Distraction is fine up to a point - but children have to learn about consequences and have to own their behaviuor and learn how to reflect on it.

[HappyMaz]

Distraction is fine up to a point - but children have to learn about consequences and have to own their behaviuor and learn how to reflect on it.

This is the crux of it really - if children aren't able to sit quietly somewhere and "think about what you've done" then time out is a waste of time really. We don't use it. We talk to the child about their behaviour, and help them understand what effect their actions have on others and about other ways of doing things.

 

Maz

[Sue R]

Yes, if children don't really understand then it's all wasted!

 

In the broader scheme of things - how can you ask a toddler to reflect on behaviour? Maybe some of the youngest are barely more than babies?

 

I am in a Day Nursery, these are very real issues.

[Rea]

The 'look' followed by a finger beckoning to 'come here' usually has some effect.

Then you can sit and talk abut the behaviour and the causes and how it could have been done differently, no point making them sit on their own, what does that teach? If you need a punishment tell them what it is, stick to it, but dont tell everyone, (its not everyones business) Really younger ones need a firm 'no', but beyond that you're wasting everyones time. My absolute bugbear is when children have to say sorry. It becomes a battle between the adult and the child, it can be horrible and painful to watch.

[Guest]

It's a very complicated area I think and one method does not fit the whole EYFS age group.

I have an MA in Managing Emotional and Behavioural Difficulties' but I still constantly question my own practice-which is a good thing I think.

 

If a child is repeatedly doing the same dangerous/hurtful behaviour in a short space of time, knows what they are doing and you have given them several 'warnings' e.g spoken to them about what they are doing, then we do say 'you need to be gentle and look at the books etc....blah blah or you won't be able to sit here with everybody else'.

If they continue we would take them to sit next to an adult who doesn't interact with them. This lasts for 3 minutes maximum and then we talk to the child and ask them 'why are you sitting here? What did you do that was sad etc.' and talk about being kind to friends.

 

Distraction works to a point for low level behaviour but if someone hurts another child and then is taken off to do a puzzle etc 1:1 I feel you are rewarding that bad behaviour with adult attention and the other children see that.

 

Very quickly after this we look for an opportunity to praise that same child for doing the right thing/something kind.

[Guest]

also need to work with parents here, and see how they deal with behaviour and work together rather than having different methods of dealing with behavioural problems

[Guest]

If a child is repeatedly doing the same dangerous/hurtful behaviour in a short space of time, knows what they are doing and you have given them several 'warnings' e.g spoken to them about what they are doing, then we do say 'you need to be gentle and look at the books etc....blah blah or you won't be able to sit here with everybody else'.

If they continue we would take them to sit next to an adult who doesn't interact with them. This lasts for 3 minutes maximum and then we talk to the child and ask them 'why are you sitting here? What did you do that was sad etc.' and talk about being kind to friends.

 

Distraction works to a point for low level behaviour but if someone hurts another child and then is taken off to do a puzzle etc 1:1 I feel you are rewarding that bad behaviour with adult attention and the other children see that.

 

Very quickly after this we look for an opportunity to praise that same child for doing the right thing/something kind.

 

This is what we do too. Infact have only just started the 3 minute timer with the children. Our inclusion officer said that a child should be able to sit the amount of minutes for their age, so a 3 year old child should sit for 3 minutes.

 

Distraction doesnt work for behaviour that hurts or is dangerous, the child needs to know that the action they did has consequences for them and for the child that was hurt.

 

We have recently been advised to not use the word 'no' but use 'stop' instead.

[Guest]

I also agree that the only raised voice should be the one that says 'STOP' and also avoids the word 'No'.

Then once the practitioner is with the children -

 

If it is an action that has hurt another child:

We acknowledge the 'harmed' child and the 'harmer' - the feelings of both.

We ask 'What...' not 'Why...' of the children.

We repeat this back to them therefore giving them the time to assimilate this and to calm further.

A huge part of this is teaching children how to empathise with others - they need to feel this.

 

If it is a squabble over a toy then the practitioner takes and holds the toy whilst dealing with the situation.

Then we talk through how to resolve it. Dependent on the developmental age and stage of the children we encourage them to come up with their own resolutions or we support this stage.

 

As already mentioned praise is the most vital aspect in improving behaviour. Focused, warm praise is used - in conjunction with encouraging the child to judge what they've done that deserved praise. For example, 'I am so proud of you because...' followed by 'Don't you feel proud...'

 

As yet we have not used time out. I did hear something on a course that said time out will not work for some children. An introverted child by nature will be able to sit and reflect. An extroverted child will not and will need support to reflect. Sitting on a chair for 3 minutes will not result in any greater understanding or empathy for the feelings of the child they have harmed.

 

I have often wondered about the place of 'time out' in early years and whether there ever is a justifiable place for it. I will watch this thread with interest as to what other's views are.

[sunnyday]

It's a very complicated area I think and one method does not fit the whole EYFS age group.

I have an MA in Managing Emotional and Behavioural Difficulties' but I still constantly question my own practice-which is a good thing I think.

 

If a child is repeatedly doing the same dangerous/hurtful behaviour in a short space of time, knows what they are doing and you have given them several 'warnings' e.g spoken to them about what they are doing, then we do say 'you need to be gentle and look at the books etc....blah blah or you won't be able to sit here with everybody else'.

If they continue we would take them to sit next to an adult who doesn't interact with them. This lasts for 3 minutes maximum and then we talk to the child and ask them 'why are you sitting here? What did you do that was sad etc.' and talk about being kind to friends.

 

Distraction works to a point for low level behaviour but if someone hurts another child and then is taken off to do a puzzle etc 1:1 I feel you are rewarding that bad behaviour with adult attention and the other children see that.

 

Very quickly after this we look for an opportunity to praise that same child for doing the right thing/something kind.

 

Agree completely with all of the above...........I have used 'time out' this morning...........a 'repeat offender' with whom I have been working closely to support...........placed his two hands on the chest of a little girl and pushed her off apparatus in the outdoor play area.........in this situation he needed to know that shouting at the top of voice "I didn't mean to" was not going to wash and I was certainly not prepared to engage him in some fun activity.........

 

My 'rule of thumb' is how would I want this dealt with if it were one of my children (or grandchildren now!)........

 

He sat on the bench while we all made a fuss of the child who had been hurt........I then sat with him and talked to him about what he had done........he did not have to say sorry, I completely agree with Rea that this is pointless.......only leads to children thinking 'sorry' makes everything better........

 

Sometimes there has to be a less than pleasant consequence to those deliberate and repeated actions that hurt other children

[Cait]

Understand that choices have consequences - isn't that one of the achievements. How can they learn about consequences if there never really are any? I'm totally in agreement Sunnyday

[Guest]

Hi

We are as edlee and sunnyday. Aftr saying the same things to a child about his behaviour twice then the next time it is time out to reflect on what we have already told him.

Edited March 26, 2010 by marley

[thumperrabbit]

Hi

We are as edlee and sunnyday. Aftr saying the same things to a child about his behaviour twice then the next time it is time out to reflect on what we have already told him.

 

And we are the same, although we don't have a 'time out chair' we have a 'thinking chair'

[Cait]

We don't have a specific area, it's just somewhere away from the other children

[Guest]

we also have a thinking chair

sue

[Guest]

I agree about the consequences thing and I use time out with my class (admittedly they are older, but I have used it with younger children too). Whilst I can understand the arguement about some children not being able to sit and reflect I still think that just the sitting and being bored is at least a consequence and something that they wouldn't really want to repeat. Also there is an element of sending the right message to the other children. If bad behaviour is rewarded with one to one attention and not a consequence then this sends a powerful message to the other children. Yes, all the talking through and understanding behaviour should happen afterwards but if this is all the other children see happening then there is an element of belief that the other child has 'got away with it'.

[Guest]

We use Time Out at our Playgroup. Not sure how effective it is when you get the same child having Time Out for the same thing several times in one session (It often goes in clumps, so one day D may be very fidgety at group times, or F may not be wanting to follow instructions, of N hits other children).

 

I think the value of Time Out is for the adult, not the child - it can give an adult, perhaps especially a parent, a structure for restoring order and for them to have a chance to sit and calm down!

[redjayne]

Another disadvantage of using a spot/chair etc is that other children soon clock who the 'naughty' children are and get good at blaming them when things go wrong , even if the child isn't involved - children at an early age learn how to scapegoat!

[Guest]

If you ahve repeated offences going on do you not think you should look at what preceeds this behaviour??

do some tracking obs, is the child bored is his interests being met

I would be concerened sitting a child on a time out chair several times in a session or even over period of time without looking at the source