Rea Posted December 11, 2009 Posted December 11, 2009 I wouldnt speak to the teacher with your daughter. You'll be pitting a 6yr old who's already upset against a teacher who knows now that you have a problem concerning the glasses being removed. Continue to believe your daughter and wait until next term, see how PE is handled from now on and then go directly to the head. Its difficult isnt it when we think we know our children but get an element of doubt? My son once came out of school saying his teacher had grabbed him and dragged him. I knew from his face he was upset and telling the truth. I asked her why she'd grabbed him and she denied any of it happening. I had to resolve to believe my son because I knew him well and hope that the teacher would be aware from now on that 1. He would tell and 2. I would ask questions. Hope your daughter is ok
Susan Posted December 11, 2009 Posted December 11, 2009 I think I would probably write a letter to the teacher or the HT stating that your daughter should wear her glasses at all times and should not be asked to take them off during the school day. Keep a copy of your letter and make a fuss if this happens again. I dont think you should punish your daughter for lying, infact I have trouble with that notion for children at this age as I think it is a very adult concept. Children should be encouraged to tell the truth but I dont think they intentionally lie. tell your daughter that you have written to the school requesting that she wear her glasses at all times and that she should not take them off at all. If you decide to take this further then I would go to the HT not the class teacher and explain your concerns but you could make things very difficult for your daughter and at this point in time what is done can not be undone.
Upsy Daisy Posted December 12, 2009 Posted December 12, 2009 You could have another chat with the teacher with your daughter present and work on the assumption that there was a misunderstanding somewhere along the line. Just ask her to back you up by confirming to your daughter that she should wear her glasses for all activities, that she looks lovely in them and that she will not be asked to remove them for any school activities. Then it doesn't matter who is telling the truth. the teacher will have cleared up the matter in front of you and would be unlikely to ask her to remove them in the future which is what's really important. Hopefully it can all be done in a very happy smiley 'we're working together' kind of way without ruffling any feathers.
sunnyday Posted December 12, 2009 Posted December 12, 2009 I think I would probably write a letter to the teacher or the HT stating that your daughter should wear her glasses at all times and should not be asked to take them off during the school day. Keep a copy of your letter and make a fuss if this happens again. This is exactly what I would do. I really wouldn't arrange another meeting with your daughters teacher, and especially not with your daughter present. In my experience the teacher is not going to 'back down' and it would be a very uncomfortable experience for your daughter. If the teacher and the head know that it is your wish that your daughter keeps her glasses on at all times, then I imagine this is not likely to happen again - well here's hoping! Good luck with it all Sunnyday
narnia Posted December 12, 2009 Posted December 12, 2009 actually, i rather like upsy daisy's suggestion.............................it's not confrontational, it's just making it clear to both parties what you expect to happen from now on and doesn't imply either of them are 'lying', merely that there was some confusion, which you are clarifying. Either way, they both know the game's up and you are on to them!!
catma Posted December 12, 2009 Posted December 12, 2009 In my experience the teacher is not going to 'back down' We don't know that! What one person experiences is not necessarily going to be a predictor for all teachers ever after. If you want the glasses on, then personally I would go for the solutions focused option of saying this in front of the class teacher to reinforce that message. No face lost, clear as day request and end of the matter. (Hopefully!) Cx
Guest Posted December 12, 2009 Posted December 12, 2009 Upsy Daisy offers a great way of letting the teacher off the hook, graciously and without losing face in front of your daughter. My instinct would be to believe your daughter and this approach reassures her that you believe and trust in her - a great confidence boost. Nona
Guest Posted December 13, 2009 Posted December 13, 2009 I think Upsy Daisy has the right approach. Chance are there has been some misunderstanding somewhere along the way. Perhaps a teaching assistant has got the wrong end of the stick and was the one who told the children they needed to remove glasses. To children these are 'the teacher' as well and young children are quite suseptible to having their memories corrupted. If everyone they spoke to about the issue has assumed it is the person we would refer to as the 'class teacher' saying this then pretty soon the child will integrate this into their own memory because they believe adults are always right ('I said the teacher, mummy is saying this is the teacher, of course it must have been her who said it') and suddenly they 'remember' that person saying it, when really it was someone else. I don't think I'm explaining this very well, but hopefully you'll understand what I mean. Also it's perfectly possible that another child in the class has said "teacher says we're not allowed to wear them" to either your daughter or another child. This would then be passed around the class as fact and children would report it back as "the teacher has said..." rather than "child x told me the teacher said..." I have had a parent confront me over something before where a similar thing happened. That child got very upset over being accused of lying as well, and I still don't know what the parent went away believing, but I know for a fact that the child was 'lying'. Of course it wasn't really that they were lying as such, they had merely had their misunderstanding reinforced by another member of the class. Young children take what their friends say as gospel!
Guest Posted December 14, 2009 Posted December 14, 2009 (edited) Well things just get more bizarre... My class were coming in as normal and I was greeted by one mum as normal, but she pointed to her son saying that I might notice soemthing different about him. He had glasses on, I complimented him giving him a positive response about his new glassess, made him smile... Then mum turns to me and says he doesn't actually need them, they're clear glass lenses, but he wanted them so badly she let him have them. She explained that she told him he shouldn't wear them to school but he was adamant and she gave in, but I was to tell him not to wear them in school as he didn't need them. WHAT???? Now my feeling is that mum should have said no to him bringing them into school in the first place, but to put the responsibility onto my shoulders - to tell him to take them off after telling him how fab he looked, not fair. What's he going to think? I've asked her to keep them at home tomorrow - we shall see. I can't help but think the whole thing is a bit much? Edited December 14, 2009 by Guest
Inge Posted December 14, 2009 Posted December 14, 2009 amazing what parents will do for an easy life... somehow I don't think I would have got them in the first place.. but that is me .. and my son needed glasses so was never in that situation.. But do think she is wrong asking you to be the bad guy here... Inge
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