Guest Posted February 22, 2009 Share Posted February 22, 2009 I was wondering how those of us that have been with our partners for a long time manage to express how much they mean to us? When we were young 'I love you' seemed so strong and potent but after 20 years it seems to be as everyday as 'Cup of tea?' I know its meant but its lost its twinkle... My OH totally suprised me with tickets for the family to see Evita. It was more to do with the plotting, planning, buying without my knowledge and to arrive on Valentines day than the choice of show. Normally it would have been 'Do you fancy Evita?' and left to me to organise and buy. It said 'I love you' more than the words. Tomorrow is his birthday so I needed to come up something for him. While baking with my eldest something reminded me of an old file of recipes.A collection of magazine cuttings, photographs of cakes I've made and some hand written recipes by my grandmothers. I found a recipe handwritten on the base card from a cake which is dated 'best before October 1986'. It was written by OH's Great Aunt Audrey when I was introduced as 'the girlfriend' at Sunday tea. I did the usual 'this is lovely' over her baking and she wrote the recipe down which was in her head from her mother and gave it to me.I took it that she liked me and approved It's all in cups and spoons and for a kind of Gingercake which has the local nickname of 'Moggie'. It improves by being kept in a tin for a few days when its goes sticky.This is 20 years ago and Auntie Audrey has been dead for 18 of them I've made the cake as his present. She told me it was his favourite when he was a boy and came round to her house. I'm hoping when he opens the tin in the morning he will remember and understand what I'm trying to say......but now I'm a little nervous....is a 20 year old cake enough....should I have bought a CD....pack of socks.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blondie Posted February 22, 2009 Share Posted February 22, 2009 i think its a lovely idea - could you put the original recipe in with the cake or next to it- that way he will be able to understand what the cake from you says how you feel about him. i brought my oh tickets to see cold play on their final tour as a surprize for the new year - he has always wanted to see them and was so happy. its not always about big money though - as they say its the thought that counts/ hope all goes well - enjoy the cake !!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HappyMaz Posted February 22, 2009 Share Posted February 22, 2009 Ahh that's lovely biccy! I'm sure he'll love it. And if you want something a bit more sparkly, perhaps you could ice "I love you" on the top in sparkly icing... Maz Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shiny Posted February 22, 2009 Share Posted February 22, 2009 What a beautiful romantic jesture, he will love it I'm sure!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Inge Posted February 22, 2009 Share Posted February 22, 2009 (edited) You just have to rely on his memory.. I hope it is good or a quick nudge will suffice.... It is always the more personal touch that says it all.. For us it is not the usual celebrated days but just turning up with a token when least expected.... as he is away a lot I will put a note in the suitcase.. or a new track on his MP3....... and I may find a note in the bread bin or some unusual place....A text message when least expected ...... For us it It is often the simple things we do for each other which say more than a just words..... I hope he enjoys the cake.....( did you actually like it or was it just polite to get the recipe... ) Inge Perhaps I should say 28 years been married now.. 29 in Sept. Edited February 22, 2009 by Inge Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cait Posted February 22, 2009 Share Posted February 22, 2009 I always find that adding his name to the 'I love you' makes it sound more 'from my heart', and much less a tripping off the tongue. Making sure there's eye contact helps too Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted February 22, 2009 Share Posted February 22, 2009 Ah, I think that's a lovely idea. I was chuffed the other day when I found weightwatchers hoola hoops in the cupboard, it just let me know that hubby thinks of me even when he's traipsing round Sainsburys doing the shopping. I rarely use my mobile, again a warm glow when I turned it on one day to find on the screensaver the message scrolling across, "Smile, Dave loves you" Now I feel guilty and feel the need to think of some ways to tell him I love him too. For starters I'll put a message on the computor screen saver. He may get to read it if I ever get off the computor. Peggy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted February 22, 2009 Share Posted February 22, 2009 (edited) I hope he enjoys the cake.....( did you actually like it or was it just polite to get the recipe... ) I can't honestly remember I just remember being really nervous knowing this old lady was really special to him. perhaps you could ice "I love you" on the top in sparkly icing... a lovely idea but I don't think my hand is steady enough this evening to manage I always find that adding his name to the 'I love you' makes it sound more 'from my heart' I use so many names for him and some of them are not very polite Edited February 22, 2009 by Guest Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hali Posted February 22, 2009 Share Posted February 22, 2009 biccy he will love it - hope he has a great day Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HappyMaz Posted February 22, 2009 Share Posted February 22, 2009 I know how you can make it really special - you could dig out that Russian Shot Putter outfit he loved so much... Maz Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrsWeasley Posted February 22, 2009 Share Posted February 22, 2009 I always say "you" to my boyfriend. Because "you" means whatever you want it to mean! I'm thinking of you. I love you. I wish I was with you. I miss you. I can't wait to see you. I actually use this with one of my friends too. We don't talk much, and every so often I get a text from her that just says "You" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted February 22, 2009 Share Posted February 22, 2009 I know how you can make it really special - you could dig out that Russian Shot Putter outfit he loved so much... Maz WOW Maz, you have a super memory don't you. Peggy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Smiles Posted February 22, 2009 Share Posted February 22, 2009 I leave little notes in my Mum's note block several pages down - she is 95 next month bless her and she lives alone and loves them. Have been known too leave a few notes in OH lunch box. smiles Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HappyMaz Posted February 22, 2009 Share Posted February 22, 2009 WOW Maz, you have a super memory don't you. Sometimes Peggy - but I did check that I'd got the right person before I posted! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Andreamay Posted February 22, 2009 Share Posted February 22, 2009 I think thats lovely and cant wait to hear all about his reaction do keep us informed!! My friend told me the other week that she had had a conversation with her hubby about saying i love you etc and he had said you know im no good at that sort of thing!! later on in the morning went she went to work she went out to her car to find he had written I love you on her car in the ice Andrea Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cait Posted February 22, 2009 Share Posted February 22, 2009 Ah, how sweet - wonder if it'll show up every time it steams up? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted February 22, 2009 Share Posted February 22, 2009 Its very true that sometimes we take each others feelings for granted. I have had a very big wake up call with my own hubby, it didnt show that I still love him as I know I do, it showed me how just how much. Although I now know that I can manage things on my own if I have to, I certainly dont want to, I want him beside me supporting me and occasionally, when I let him, he can take the lead. With Martin being as ill as he is, I am afraid to do too much out of the ordinary incase he thinks he's about to pop his clogs! While visiting him today, I noticed a few things. When I arrived I started talking to him and I did get the odd nod back with eyebrows that definately frowned. When my brother-in-law arrived, who martin may only see every few weeks, he got a nod and some raised eyebrows in ackowledgement that he has seen him!!! Of course this did provide me with an opportunity to make a joke about me being "just the wife". I got a big sigh after it, which means things are as normal between us!! Its lovely to hear all the different things you all do, to make the other half aware that you still think they are special. Will maybe start doing a few of them once I get him out of ICU!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted February 22, 2009 Share Posted February 22, 2009 (edited) oh guess who got distracted by the forum!! I have spent the past hour doing assignment on transitions, but have been very easily distracted!! I am not an addict I am not an addict I am not an addict I am ....... who am I kidding??!! Edited February 22, 2009 by Guest Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scarlettangel Posted February 23, 2009 Share Posted February 23, 2009 I think thats a wonderful thought. x Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Beau Posted February 23, 2009 Share Posted February 23, 2009 It sounds like a brilliant idea to me biccy! Anyone can stick a CD or something in basket and take it to the till, but the thought and time spent on the cake is so much more than that. I can't wait to hear how it was received. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Running Bunny Posted February 26, 2009 Share Posted February 26, 2009 Biccy... What happened with the cake???? I can't believe no-one else has asked (or have I missed another post?) Now off to make the dangerous 5 minute chocolate cake (again!!) RB x Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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