Guest Posted February 19, 2009 Share Posted February 19, 2009 hey guys jus wanted no ur advice!!! i have been working as a nursery nurse at a nursery for 5 months now!!!im in pre school just feel like reali down!!like i try my hardest come in early when required never had a day off but nothings good enough!! there's always somrhing at work ready to knock u down neway manager was goin on at work about ppl talking about work on facebook which i didn't bt because my name was mentioned in a conversation on facebook she said in front of everyone at a staff meeting maria is talking about arguments felt so embarasd like she is trying to belittle me nd embarass me and like i dont know she never communicates with me reli well just through another staff member i just don't know what to do because shes gojng to be the manager now and im just being criticised and criticised all the time no matter what i do can never do right from wrong redi 2 walk out now!!! from eclmmcca Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted February 19, 2009 Share Posted February 19, 2009 hey guys jus wanted no ur advice!!! i have been working as a nursery nurse at a nursery for 5 months now!!!im in pre school just feel like reali down!!like i try my hardest come in early when required never had a day off but nothings good enough!! there's always somrhing at work ready to knock u down neway manager was goin on at work about ppl talking about work on facebook which i didn't bt because my name was mentioned in a conversation on facebook she said in front of everyone at a staff meeting maria is talking about arguments felt so embarasd like she is trying to belittle me nd embarass me and like i dont know she never communicates with me reli well just through another staff member i just don't know what to do because shes gojng to be the manager now and im just being criticised and criticised all the time no matter what i do can never do right from wrong redi 2 walk out now!!! from eclmmcca hi, im so sorry you feel like this, im a manager and would hate to think any of my staff feel this way, do you have regular supervisions where you and manager can discuss any issues and try to resolve them? i do them every 8-12 weeks but also if staff request a chat thats fine, seems like your manager needs some lessons in people skills !!! please dont walk out hastily try at least to speak your manager on a one to one basis and let her know how you feel good luck xJ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted February 19, 2009 Share Posted February 19, 2009 yeh its just i dont no where i am with her im alredi on a verbal becaused i snapped at her so don't want to risk another warning!!i mean shes trying her best i spose cos shes new to being a manager but in dat meeting i think she shud a tuk me aside and sed y was dis mentioned dan say it in front of everyone at the meeting"" i just give up i dont speak 2 her dat much nemore n i felt well embarsd at dat meeting if it wernt 4 d kids i wud av gone i dont mind her just nothing i say is valued yhh i thinkim guna av 2 speak 2 her especially about how she jus spoke like dat in d meeting over everone felt well undermined!! hows d best way 2 approach it just say wot i think!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HappyMaz Posted February 19, 2009 Share Posted February 19, 2009 Oh dear you do sound unhappy. Can you see how she has jumped to the conclusion that you have been talking about these issues on facebook? Has she spoken to other practitioners about this? If you have been singled out unfairly then I think you need to resolve this issue: if you do nothing it will seem to everyone that what she said at the meeting was true. I'm guessing it might be difficult to have this conversation in person, so do you think you could write a letter saying how you feel and assuring her that you have taken no part in any of these conversations on facebook. You could take the opportunity to remind her how hard working and loyal you are and that you would never do anything to breach confidentiality in this way. I would probably not have raised this issue publicly as she did, but I hope that had I done so I would be big enough to apologise in person publicly too once my mistake was realised. So there's something for her to reflect on here too - especially if she's taking over as manager. As to the facebook thing, I would be ultra careful about what you say and what you talk about - and if you see your name mentioned on any of your friends' pages in a context you disagree with, get them to change/remove it! Good luck - I hope you can get this sorted and that morale improves soon. Maz Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted February 19, 2009 Share Posted February 19, 2009 yeh its just i dont no where i am with her im alredi on a verbal becaused i snapped at her so don't want to risk another warning!!i mean shes trying her best i spose cos shes new to being a manager but in dat meeting i think she shud a tuk me aside and sed y was dis mentioned dan say it in front of everyone at the meeting"" i just give up i dont speak 2 her dat much nemore n i felt well embarsd at dat meeting if it wernt 4 d kids i wud av gone i dont mind her just nothing i say is valued yhh i thinkim guna av 2 speak 2 her especially about how she jus spoke like dat in d meeting over everone felt well undermined!! hows d best way 2 approach it just say wot i think!!! just ask her calmly if you can have meeting with her, may be request you take another member in for moral support? just state calmly what your concerns are, maybe if shes new shes streesed with all the eyfs changes or impending ofsted, but the best thing she can have is a happy team that respect and support her, just dont go in with all guns blazing !!!! (does she have a line manager i,e ownner or commitee you could approach if no luck? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted February 19, 2009 Share Posted February 19, 2009 i just cant b bothered nemore like ofsted came las wekk n i was answering most o d questions and shes like 2 me after remmeber wot i sed about dem dey ask d most questions 2 nervous ppl!!!!she dunt reli spk 2 me no moe and i cant b botherd speaking no more no deputy and shes going out with the owners cousin i just felt humiliated in front of everyone she was making out as if i was saying stuff she cud av asked me privately dan saying over everyone she never even communicates i have to hear off other people can u write it in a letter i just don't know what to do no more!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rea Posted February 19, 2009 Share Posted February 19, 2009 Oh dear, lack of communication is the worst isnt it? Jaycooks is right, you must ask to have a meeting but you must also stay really calm and professional. Kick and scream when you're in private at home! Have a list ready of the things you want to discuss, the facebook thing and how you would prefer if she could speak to you directly rather than through another member of staff, that way you'll know exactly whats what, messages can get a bit mixed sometimes. It sounds like not all your unhappiness is from the manager, you say theres always something at work ready to knock you down. You do need to have a calm chat. Give her plenty of time to arrange a suitable time, you dont want any meeting to be cut short because shes got to be somewhere or expecting a visitor. Good luck and dont walk out, if you're unhappy and you cant work together, resign and follow the settings rules. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted February 19, 2009 Share Posted February 19, 2009 Hi, it is very hard for you to talk to this person which is very sad, you need to clear the air, or this could go on and on and you will become so disillusioned and your working relationship will suffer. take the bull by the horns ask for a meeting and good luck. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted February 19, 2009 Share Posted February 19, 2009 yeh,i think im going to wite a letter the old manager is no longer with us so shes now manager!! never reli got on we've tried but it just aint happening didnt help she called me a weirdo and a **** stirrer wen i first started i mean yeh ive not bin much better but the way she put the facebook thing across publically has mde me fell like **** 2 be honest i mean i have to work with these ppl and now shes made out 2 dem dat im speaking about dem wen i aint everyone went on bout arguments n now im made out 2 be 2 bad guy! i dont know how 2 speak 2 her d last timei did she ended up crying soim going to be d bad guy again dunno how im going to resolve this i thik il writea letter and put my concerns in dan a meeting cos its busy and dat!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted February 19, 2009 Share Posted February 19, 2009 really sorry your so unhappy and i to would hate my staff to be so low but your message did make me smile because i couldnt read the text it reminds me of when i get text messages from my daughters !! Will try and get them to decipher it for me i really must be getting old I would go back and talk to her keep calm and if needed have someone else with you so you know and remember what was said because very often you forget or things become muddled write down what you want to say, talk clearly and dont shout back j good luck dont keep it to yourself or it will eat you up and work will be unbearable and it should not be thinking of u good luck Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted February 20, 2009 Share Posted February 20, 2009 hey guys jus wanted no ur advice!!! i have been working as a nursery nurse at a nursery for 5 months now!!!im in pre school just feel like reali down!!like i try my hardest come in early when required never had a day off but nothings good enough!! there's always somrhing at work ready to knock u down neway manager was goin on at work about ppl talking about work on facebook which i didn't bt because my name was mentioned in a conversation on facebook she said in front of everyone at a staff meeting maria is talking about arguments felt so embarasd like she is trying to belittle me nd embarass me and like i dont know she never communicates with me reli well just through another staff member i just don't know what to do because shes gojng to be the manager now and im just being criticised and criticised all the time no matter what i do can never do right from wrong redi 2 walk out now!!! from eclmmcca hello again!! just checking to see how you are feeling today, hope you are clearer as to what to next, take care Jx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted February 20, 2009 Share Posted February 20, 2009 Hi, just caught up with this, how are things? If you haven't done your letter yet maybe as well as stating how you feel about the facebook incident and how you would like her to talk to you in private if she has any concerns, also maybe you could say you would appreciatte some feedback on what you do well and also ask whether there is anything she expects of you that you don't know about. In other words ask some open questions to hopefully promote a positive dialogue between you both. Ditto suer comment regarding your text type, I must be getting old too (well I will be 50 this year ). I do also believe that you have won my coverted crown, I was awarded the prize for the longest sentence writer. I do really hope things can be worked out for you, it has only been 5 months, and especially if your manager is new to the post, it takes time for teams to reform after changes. Good luck, do let us know how things are going. Peggy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sunnyday Posted February 20, 2009 Share Posted February 20, 2009 You sound so unhappy, made me feel really sad for you. Wonderful advice from everyone, I don't think I can add anything. Try and have a good weekend. sunnyday Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted February 20, 2009 Share Posted February 20, 2009 things are not great!! do hope she doesn't use this!! went in after agonising for half an hour whetther to do so!! said i wanted a word!!i said i wanted to talk about the staff meeeting etc!!I said i felt angry why she had to use me as an example in staff meeting she said she used it as an example -i said yeh understand that but explained that i felt singled out and would have pefered her to have spoken to be first!! neway she then turned it personally accusing me of not liking her i was like wtf i was talking about work and she turned it personal!! i said waht u mean she like i no u dont because you don't speak to me i was like u don't speak to me u speak 2 another member of staff through me then she just sai ooh well im not bothered because its same as- so basically admitted she didn't like me so nothing really got sorted out-how can i work in asetting where the manager has basically accused me of not liking her and admitted she doesn't like me i don't get treated like the other member of staff so maybe its time im on m way who knows!!!not a good day!!i will just have to not speak 2 her now!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted February 20, 2009 Share Posted February 20, 2009 things are not great!! do hope she doesn't use this!! went in after agonising for half an hour whetther to do so!! said i wanted a word!!i said i wanted to talk about the staff meeeting etc!!I said i felt angry why she had to use me as an example in staff meeting she said she used it as an example -i said yeh understand that but explained that i felt singled out and would have pefered her to have spoken to be first!! neway she then turned it personally accusing me of not liking her i was like wtf i was talking about work and she turned it personal!! i said waht u mean she like i no u dont because you don't speak to me i was like u don't speak to me u speak 2 another member of staff through me then she just sai ooh well im not bothered because its same as- so basically admitted she didn't like me so nothing really got sorted out-how can i work in asetting where the manager has basically accused me of not liking her and admitted she doesn't like me i don't get treated like the other member of staff so maybe its time im on m way who knows!!!not a good day!!i will just have to not speak 2 her now!! sorry it turned out this way, your manager doesnt sound very professional im afraid! not really sure were you can go from this if there is no one in a higher position you can turn too, good luck in what ever you decide to do and remember - you stay calm and professional and dont let her get to you, try to rise above it, good luck Jx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted February 20, 2009 Share Posted February 20, 2009 dont forget if you really want to leave try to lookfor another position , someone will appreciate you and im sure there will much more professional managers in your area!! dont give her the satisfaction of you walking out- follow the right procedure and hold your head up high!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted February 20, 2009 Share Posted February 20, 2009 yeh need get out shame leavin d kids luv em 2 bits dont stop speaking 2 dem al day doing stuff dr parents like dy say dis bout u n dat buh im nt having this manager undermining me and personally attacking me and den beingnice 2 me face n jus nt speaking me abut work stuffsumat always goin on in dat place and d kids suffer yeh need sumwher new i tink yeh il find a job 1st just got grin and bear it 4 a bit and thanks guys for all ur messages and support!!XX Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted February 21, 2009 Share Posted February 21, 2009 yeh need get out shame leavin d kids luv em 2 bits dont stop speaking 2 dem al day doing stuff dr parents like dy say dis bout u n dat buh im nt having this manager undermining me and personally attacking me and den beingnice 2 me face n jus nt speaking me abut work stuffsumat always goin on in dat place and d kids suffer yeh need sumwher new i tink yeh il find a job 1st just got grin and bear it 4 a bit and thanks guys for all ur messages and support!!XX glad your feeling a bit clearer about things!!! hope all goes well!!! keep us all posted xJ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cait Posted February 21, 2009 Share Posted February 21, 2009 I wish I understood text-speak! I think I got the gist of this, but what is neway? Can't work that one out at all. D'OH! OH Just worked it out!!!! ANYWAY!!! hehe Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted February 21, 2009 Share Posted February 21, 2009 I wish I understood text-speak! I think I got the gist of this, but what is neway? Can't work that one out at all. D'OH! OH Just worked it out!!!! ANYWAY!!! hehe hahhahaahaha sorry i do use text speak quite a lot got to stop doing that lol!!! yeh a lot clearer-so what the manager thinks i don't likeher and has admiited she doesn't like me theres a lot worse things going on in the world-children are dying theres wars going on recession allsorts and my setting just bitches about anything -don't reaally want to go back on monday-will be back to the gossip place-ill have try and just ignore it all-thse children deserve better!!! but yeh hope anuva job comes up wooh xxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cait Posted February 22, 2009 Share Posted February 22, 2009 Just rise above it, do you job and smile a lot. Be friendly and approachable and willing. Have you got an NVQ or any other training? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted February 22, 2009 Share Posted February 22, 2009 Just rise above it, do you job and smile a lot. Be friendly and approachable and willing. Have you got an NVQ or any other training? yeh will have to rise above it!! feels there's no way to sort i ut now before i just thought we just didn't get each other now shes let her feelings out i suppose i know where i stand!! yeh il try and be friendly and approachable to her shes justso fakee but yeh gud advice!!! yeh i went college for two yers so got my nursery nurse training level 3 just dn't hink it was worth it to work in the place i am in the minute but yeh just going to crack on with my job -jus hate being taken advantage of like the other girl i reli get on with but is in the office talking to the manager for hours or cutting just feels im always with the children don't get me wrong i love it but hey its a new week im not going to let anything get to me this week and will go mad if anyone starts with the gossip this week i feel like im back at school bein lazy today watching dvds thnks for the advice!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cait Posted February 22, 2009 Share Posted February 22, 2009 Well it's all downhill to the summer now - we're past the halfway point of the year, and there's lovely sunny days ahead to get outside and keep out of her way. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted February 22, 2009 Share Posted February 22, 2009 things are not great!! do hope she doesn't use this!! Talking from experience - you should always be careful what you say on the internet. Never say anything you wouldn't be prepared to say to that persons face cause it'll come back and bite you on the bum! I wish I could offer some more advice about what you should do, but I can't understand your posts. Sorry I couldn't be of more help. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted February 22, 2009 Share Posted February 22, 2009 she knows wot i think i didnt write it someone else did it was the way she dealt with it and woteva else she thinks that annoyed me im over it now anyway jus going to do my job and concentrate on the kids smile and just bear it thanks 4 all ur posts can u believe its march soon wooh!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sunnyday Posted February 22, 2009 Share Posted February 22, 2009 Talking from experience - you should always be careful what you say on the internet. Never say anything you wouldn't be prepared to say to that persons face cause it'll come back and bite you on the bum! I wish I could offer some more advice about what you should do, but I can't understand your posts. Sorry I couldn't be of more help. Brilliant advice re. being careful about what you are putting online, but I love the challenge of trying to work out your posts - so please keep them coming! sunnyday Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted February 22, 2009 Share Posted February 22, 2009 she knows wot i think i didnt write it someone else did Sorry: I understand that you didn't write anything on facebook, but it is you posting on here. Honestly you never know who is watching what you're writing. For all you know, I could be your manager! (I'm not though, so don't panic!) Brilliant advice re. being careful about what you are putting online, but I love the challenge of trying to work out your posts - so please keep them coming! sunnyday Hope I haven't caused any offence, I wasn't saying she shouldn't post anymore. Just that I couldn't offer her any advice on her situation because I found it hard to read her posts. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted February 22, 2009 Share Posted February 22, 2009 ive a feeling u no me bluebell just because the quote u have used is in our nursery ie everyone cand do something aaa wel ve done it now need get rid of this topic but everyone has dem weeks init omg omg!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sunnyday Posted February 22, 2009 Share Posted February 22, 2009 Sorry: I understand that you didn't write anything on facebook, but it is you posting on here. Honestly you never know who is watching what you're writing. For all you know, I could be your manager! (I'm not though, so don't panic!) Hope I haven't caused any offence, I wasn't saying she shouldn't post anymore. Just that I couldn't offer her any advice on her situation because I found it hard to read her posts. No I realise that. sunnyday Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted February 22, 2009 Share Posted February 22, 2009 ive a feeling u no me bluebell just because the quote u have used is in our nursery ie everyone cand do something aaa wel ve done it now need get rid of this topic but everyone has dem weeks init omg omg!!! Don't panic you don't know me. It's not up in my pre-school! I used to get so frustrated when I couldn't do something, and I didn't understand why I couldn't do everything I wanted to do. And she'd always say that to me, not everyone can do everything, but everyone can do something. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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