HappyMaz Posted November 16, 2008 Share Posted November 16, 2008 I've been thinking and thinking about how to use my 4,000th post to best effect, and JacquieL suggested I start a new thread to which everyone (or at least lots of us) can contribute to. So here goes. As some of you will know, my dear daughter (in both the monetary and emotional sense ) will be 18 next week. Its a time for taking stock and thinking about one's life: both when you're about to be 18 but even more so when your first born is about to get the key of the door. I've been thinking back to when I was 18, and comparing my life with MrsWeasley's. So here's my question: what is the best/funniest/worst/most useless piece of advice you have been given at any stage of your life? Perhaps we could put them in a book and publish the Foundation Stage Forum's guide to life, the universe and everything. It would need 42 pages, of course - so get posting! Maz Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Andreamay Posted November 16, 2008 Share Posted November 16, 2008 on my wedding day from my dearest mother in law Its give and take in a marriage BUT the woman always has to GIVE MORE!!!! The advise I give is its give and take in a marriage right down the middle no more no less!!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gezabel Posted November 16, 2008 Share Posted November 16, 2008 The best piece of advice I have ever had came from my Mum. She died 20 years ago but her advice has proved valuable on more than one occasion. She told me that no matter how bad life is at times there is always something positive to hold onto which will see you through the tough times. I disputed this at the time but Mum insisted and gave me this analogy: The positive aspect may be the equivalent of a piece of cotton, grab it with both hands and hang on tight, it won't snap but will give you the strength to come through the bad times. She has been proved right many times over the years and I only wish she was still here so I could say thanks. Some things have been just minor, 'off days' but the most signifcant time in my life when her advice helped was when my then 16yr old son collapsed and was rushed to the neurosurgical ward. We were told he had a 1% chance of survival and I was distraught. The 'piece of cotton' was the 1% it was the only positve thing in a nightmare situation. That 16yr old is now my strapping healthy 25yr old youngest son. Sorry if this is a bit of a prattle or not relevant Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HappyMaz Posted November 16, 2008 Author Share Posted November 16, 2008 Sorry if this is a bit of a prattle or not relevant Prattle? Not at all: what a fantastic piece of advice - and what better illustration of how thin the piece of cotton can be but that if you hold on tight and with faith it might just be enough to see you through. I'm sure your mum sees your thanks everytime you look at your lovely son! Maz Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted November 16, 2008 Share Posted November 16, 2008 My gorgeous lovely dad died in August this year of a brain tumour and the advice he always gave me was 'Everything in moderation' I do believe that is so true. Enjoy a little of what you fancy but don't go mad. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
green hippo Posted November 16, 2008 Share Posted November 16, 2008 An interesting and uplifting thread already. One of the best pieces of advice I've been given is: how ever bad you feel, write down 5 positive for the day - it has certainly helped me to turn a disasterous day into a not-so-bad day. I often think of things like "made dinner for family", "spent time watching son play" - these little things make all the difference! And I have to add, that I always try to follow "treat others as I would like to be treated myself" - it helps in those "tricky" situations!!! Thanks for the thread Green hippo xx Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HappyMaz Posted November 16, 2008 Author Share Posted November 16, 2008 And I have to add, that I always try to follow "treat others as I would like to be treated myself" - it helps in those "tricky" situations!!! So green hippo's username could also be Mrs Do-as-you-would-be-done-to! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aliamch Posted November 16, 2008 Share Posted November 16, 2008 I was just about to walk down the aisle when my future mother-in-law charged out and assured me it wasn't to late to change my mind, then told me I had more chance of a sucessful marriage if we moved in with her in Ireland. Well he was her baby but we celebrated our 18th wedding anniversary in August - she, bless her, gave us a maximum of 2 years! The best piece of advice came from my nan who always said you can never be truly happy if you know you're making others sad. Another thing that has always stuck with me though not advice, is when I was about 11, I asked my mum about the 'F' word I can't go into detail, but her answer put the fear of god in me and I've always made sure I've always answered my girls queries age appropriately and honestly! Karrie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Smiles Posted November 16, 2008 Share Posted November 16, 2008 My youngest was 18 in October. I watch John Edwards on TV and have really taken to heart his piece of advise he always gives at the end of his show. Communcate, appreciate and validate all the people in your life. I wish I had taken his advise long ago when I lost my Dad . Thank you everyone. smiles Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scarlettangel Posted November 17, 2008 Share Posted November 17, 2008 I would like to pretend to be worldly wise with my advice for an 18 year old but what springs to my mind most easily......... And I have said it to my daughter (19) my son (16) and my husband at one time or another............ Are the words of Thumper's Mum: "If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scarlettangel Posted November 17, 2008 Share Posted November 17, 2008 PS. This is a lovely thread......... will try and think of more words of wisdom as the day goes on!!!!!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted November 17, 2008 Share Posted November 17, 2008 My husband always says Least said soonest mended, and it does work especially in family issues! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
narnia Posted November 17, 2008 Share Posted November 17, 2008 On our wedding day, our vicar told us to never let the sun go down on a disagreement...........always patch things up before you go to bed, so you don't have to wake up to face a new day with anger still in you. I wish we had both listened to him!! Mum always told me, no matter what, keep your kidneys warm!! (make sure you have clothes on which are long enough to keep you covered up, so you don't catch a chill!) Whatever he says, he WON'T respect you in the morning if you give yourself away!! Mums are sometimes right No matter what happens in life, mum is always there for you and one final thought......................better to have a condom on his bits than in his wallet, (or your handbag!) necause you were too shy to suggest using one!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted November 17, 2008 Share Posted November 17, 2008 The worst piece of advice from everyone that cared about me was: 'do not marry him' Well, here I am 14 years later as happy as can be. Yasmeen Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted November 17, 2008 Share Posted November 17, 2008 My mum gave me the best bit of work-related advice and it lasted her throughout her teaching career which at the moment has been cut short at the moment due to illness. She told me when I was training and reminded me again when I qualified that a teacher's job is never done and there's always something else you can do. Set yourself a time of night where you will not work past and stick to it. Plus do at least 1 thing that has nothing to do with teaching, it keeps you sane! Working for me so far! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Beau Posted November 17, 2008 Share Posted November 17, 2008 In one of my reports when I was about 10 years old my teacher advised that I should choose my friends more wisely. She was referring to my best friend at the time and I'm sorry to say we spent a lot of time giggling and messing about. However, I don't think I can remember anything that I learnt at school during that time and it hasn't done me any harm. What I do remember is the absolutely hoot of a time I had with my friend though - a memory I wouldn't swap for anything in the world. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Inge Posted November 17, 2008 Share Posted November 17, 2008 On our wedding day, our vicar told us to never let the sun go down on a disagreement...........always patch things up before you go to bed, so you don't have to wake up to face a new day with anger still in you. I wish we had both listened to him!! Must be a standard vicar thing this.. ours said it too.. or rather don't go to sleep on an argument.. we have actually managed this one well.. 28 years and still do Cannot think of others yet.. will do though.. Inge Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SueFinanceManager Posted November 17, 2008 Share Posted November 17, 2008 Oh jolly there have been so many things people have said over the years.... Mother in law.....when choosing my wedding ring she said 'Don't buy one that is too wide or there won't be room on your finger for the eternity ring when he buys you it'....he has now done so and I am glad I listened to her Can't remember who said it but 'Always spent as much as you can afford buying the best quality and most comfortable shoes and beds because if you are not in one you are in the other' Lovely mummy.....'You need to have a good memory to be a liar, it's easier to be honest and people will like you better for it' and 'If you can't say something nice, be quiet and go to your room!' My wonderful stepfather who died last April....'Being wealthy is ok but being happy is better' and 'It's always better to do someone a good turn than a bad turn, the repayment may not be immediate but it always makes you feel like a nicer human being' Ohhhh getting all sentimental now so signing off to take a moment, soppy girl that I am Sue Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted November 17, 2008 Share Posted November 17, 2008 Ahhhh, my eyes are welled up, what lovely and poignant messages. :wacko: Happymaz, what a great celebration of your 4000th post this is becoming, a great idea that maybe other members can follow when they reach significant milestone posts. Going on the vicar words of wisdom, ours was a bit strange. He knew my hubby's family are keen fishermen. He said " Your marriage will be like fishing, whilst in your boat you will face choppy seas..........." I can't remember the rest because I was giggling so much, hubby being a fresh water fisherman................. Mum, didn't tend to say 'words of wisdom' when I was a child, she just had the 'look', (either stern or kind) and I knew what she meant without any words needing to be spoken. Dad, who passed away over 10 yrs ago was a very wise, theoretical man but I can't really remember any specific 'quote' from him, however he bought us up to be very independent with lots of freedom and he let us know that it's ok to make mistakes because he would always be there for us, whatever the mistakes may be. Hubby, when we first got together I was quite low self esteem and consistenly asked for his approval, "Does this look ok?", How do I look in this?", "Do you like my dress?" etc etc. He said, I'm not going to answer when you fish for compliments. In other words it didn't matter what he thought, it's what I thought that mattered and to find my own confidence in my choices. I personally think the best thing any parent can say to their child, out loud and unconditionally is " I LOVE YOU" (because you're you) Peggy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted November 17, 2008 Share Posted November 17, 2008 Ahhh what a lovely thread!! My mum in law said to me 'pick your arguments wisely'!! She is so right! Its particularly useful with teenage children (son 14, daughter 11) but it also applies to partners, work etc etc. Basically only argue over important issues! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hali Posted November 17, 2008 Share Posted November 17, 2008 oh wow thanks M xxxx The one i always use - from my mum is - 'things happen for a reason!' Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Inge Posted November 17, 2008 Share Posted November 17, 2008 (edited) and no use crying over spilt milk no such word as can't no one to blame but yourself Think mine is always look for the positive.. glass is always half full, not half empty, and if you cannot manage it first time keep trying.... or find a way round so you can.. I like to find a solution to most problems life throws at us.. most mountains can be climbed, if not find a way around them! is that enough clichés. Inge Edited November 17, 2008 by Inge Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fizzy Posted November 17, 2008 Share Posted November 17, 2008 My mum and dad always say "these things are sent to test us" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rea Posted November 17, 2008 Share Posted November 17, 2008 My dad had a collapse when I was about 14 or so. His words of wisdom afterwards were 'never worry'. I'd been in the heads office at school and I was so worried about being told off. Dad said, 'he goes to the loo just like you do, just look at his tie, say yes sir when he's finished speaking but never take anything to heart'. I've always strived to never let people get to me. He also encouraged me to stand up for myself. Dont believe in special offers or something for nothing. He threw the insurance man out of the house once when he felt he was being lied to and years later I threw out the man who tried to sell us a kirby vacumn for £800!! My grandad used to say 'two wrongs dont make a right' and 'treat others how you would want to be treated'. The last one I've altered to say 'treat all children how I would wnat mine treated. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted November 17, 2008 Share Posted November 17, 2008 At work when new staff start and they have thier own children I always say -Alwaysremember they (the children at work ) are not your own children but its always a good thing to treat them as you would want someone to treat your child and you wont go far wrong. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted November 17, 2008 Share Posted November 17, 2008 That worrying about something wont solve it, make it go away and often it is the worry that is worse than the event. One of the best bits of advice from my father but it changed my life. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
oakley40 Posted November 17, 2008 Share Posted November 17, 2008 Hi All, I remember my mum saying..... Make your way in life, but remember im always here if you need me - no matter what! And she always has been Love my mum x x O40 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted November 17, 2008 Share Posted November 17, 2008 I remember someone saying once : Never have more children than you have hands to hold. and Never have more children than you have car windows to look out of!! (My children always argued about looking out of each others car windows) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cait Posted November 17, 2008 Share Posted November 17, 2008 I like Virginia Satir's quote, "Life is not the way it's meant to be - it is the way it is. The way you look at it makes the difference." Or my little sister "Life's a bitch and then you die" Hehehe Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest MaryEMac Posted November 17, 2008 Share Posted November 17, 2008 When I got married my dear late mother told me not to stop Richard from playing football/snookerette because he wouldn't thank me for it. Thirty two years later I am still following that advice. I enjoyed saturday afternoons to myself. Basically mum was saying that you both need to have your own space and interests. She was right, bless her. Mary Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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