Guest Posted January 29, 2008 Share Posted January 29, 2008 (edited) I can't believe I'm getting myself in a knot about this!...my first tutorial for E123 is on Saturday and it's at Guildford Uni which is about a 1 hour drive from my house. I drive and have been for about 20 years and I'm very comfortable driving to places I know well!!! I really want to attend the tutorial as I find I benefit alot from meeting other students etc. The thought of driving to somewhere I'm not sure about is making me very very nervous, people have assured me it's an easy drive (that's easy for them to say!)Yesterday I was going for it...thought to myself what can be the worst thing that can happen. Woke up this morning in a blind panic again. It's held me back on so many things in the past that I just want to get rid of this fear and be able to enjoy driving......any suggestions as to how i can calm myself and prepare for the journey?? My other fear that makes me feel like this is............FROGS Edited January 29, 2008 by Mrsb Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lou Posted January 29, 2008 Share Posted January 29, 2008 Hi Mrsb Can you get someone to sit in with you on a dry run. Maybe if you have done the journey it may make you feel a little better. Or can someone take you for the first one. It will be a shame if you feel like this it will overshadow what you are going to do. The last time I was behind the wheel was 13 years ago I hate driving but I do like the idea of the freedom. My huge worry was directions so kind of know what you mean. Good luck Oh and birds or anything that flys around your head and attacks you, like butterflies. Yes I know they don't really but for that split second as they fly towards me they do. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dublinbay Posted January 29, 2008 Share Posted January 29, 2008 I'm so sorry you feel like this Mrsb, but you are not alone. I learnt to drive years ago when living in outback Australia (very small town - no roundabouts/traffic lights etc)but when I came to live in this country there were so many cars around and all seemed to want to go where I wanted to go. Of course I froze and refused to ever drive again, and I never have. I get by using public transport and walking. My next tutorial is in Derby which will either be a train or bus job. Lou's idea was good - to get someone to come with you on a dry run. I expect its the fear of the unknown and having to following directions and signs whilst driving. At least if you did a dry run you would know exactly where to go on the day and hopefully your fear would be gone. Maybe others will have more ideas. Good luck in whatever you do and for the tutorial. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deb Posted January 29, 2008 Share Posted January 29, 2008 First of all, your fear is perfectly understandable and it is possible to overcome it. My first tutorial for my present course was a nightmare. We ended up 20 minutes late having gone to the wrong university!! How were we to know there were 2 in one city! It was very stressful at the time but I can look back on it now and laugh. My experience is that tutors are very understanding. We ended up driving round the city centre which was very alien to a country girl. Having been there 3 times now, knowing where to park, it's a piece of cake. You will probably need to ask at the reception desk where your tutorial will be held, they can be held in different rooms each time but usually in the same area. The 2nd time, many of us got our husbands to drop us off whilst they did some Christmas shopping, boy did mine need some arm twisiting but we all had a good day in the end. Have you got a partner or friend who would do this for the first time? A dry run would be an excellent idea too. Alternatively leave yourself plenty of time, hours if necesssary! Borrow someones's sat nav? Ring the university and ask them to give you directions and landmarks to head for. Post a message on your First Class tutorial to see if there is anybody else coming from your area. Share a lift. I guarantee everybody else will be feeling the same. You will benefit from the tutorial. I think your fear of not knowing where you are going, where to park is totally understandable and also possible to overcome. It's the unknown but with perseverance it will become the known. Please go for it. What is the worst that can happen? Let us know how you get on. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rea Posted January 29, 2008 Share Posted January 29, 2008 I have to travel quite often to places I dont know as supply. My tip is to get to know your A-Z. I read through my route and even if I get a bit lost, I can usually remember seeing a road name on the map and can work it out. I used to have post-its on the dash board and as I went through one of the areas, I'd peel it off and chuck it. Just drive slowly and dont worry about the people behind, we were all new to somewhere once. The idea of a sat nav is good too, but be watchful, mine wanted me to turn right a few weeks ago where there was no right! Failing that, my philosophy when driving somewhere unknown, is simply this... "We live on an island, if I get to the sea, I'll know I've gone too far and I'll turn round" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Inge Posted January 29, 2008 Share Posted January 29, 2008 As said.. my approach is a dry run beforehand... if you can get someone to go with you even better, but as there is not a time limit or need to get somewhere by.. it really does not matter if it takes you ages or go wrong way. Or i must admit to getting husband to drive me first time.. Dont really like sat nav myself. having briefly used one which told me to go somewhere completely the wrong direction A-Z and old fashioned map reading for me every time. Inge Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Helen Posted January 29, 2008 Share Posted January 29, 2008 If it were me, I'd probably bottle out and use public transport for that day. I think if you need to be somewhere at a particular time, it puts more pressure on you. Save your new trips for another time. Sorry to give a completely different viewpoint Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mundia Posted January 29, 2008 Share Posted January 29, 2008 I don't have any advice, Im not a driver, I bus and walk everywhere, I don't like going to new places either but in my current job I have to. In terms of fears, mine is dentists, the only thing that gets me in the chair is rescue remedy (also great for interview nerves) and the first appointment of the day and wo betide them if they keep me waiting! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Andreamay Posted January 29, 2008 Share Posted January 29, 2008 Well I understand totally mrsb I drive an hour 15min to a campus of the uni so i dont have to drive on the motorway of whcih it is 40mins away and 3 diff motorways!!! I have never driven on a motorway and my OH can not understand it and it does cause arguments My friend is like you and doesnt drive anywhere she doesnt know but did force herself too to go and see her beloved osmonds in concert,my oH argument is i may need to drive on motorway one day in emergency i dont know wether hes right or wrong but I know it would make me physically ill and when i got there I would hav eto do it again to get back!!! I will drive places i dont know but not without a dummy run with oh so i would back others advse up there. And as a farmers wife my fear of rats and mice cases both amusement in our house and lack of understanding Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted January 29, 2008 Share Posted January 29, 2008 Mrs B I have exactly the same problem and I cheated for my tutorials and got my hubby to drop me off at every single one!! However that was before discovering SAT NAV!!!! Have you got a friend that has one of these that you could borrow? Its the most marvelous invention for those of us who hate driving in strange places!!! It seems to bring comfort, having a little voice telling you to 'turn left', etc etc!!?? jx Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rea Posted January 29, 2008 Share Posted January 29, 2008 Didnt admit to my fear... Turning right. I'll plan a journey so I dont do right turns across busy roads. Tomorrow morning I'll go left from my house up to the island and double back on myself, rather than go right from my house up the road and turn right across the main road in rush hour. Longer journey but far more relaxed. Also hate bogies, all other liquids etc from the human body are tolerable, but not snot, especailly the green stretchy stuff Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted January 29, 2008 Share Posted January 29, 2008 Have you tried homeopathic medicine. Camomile tablets or other wise Aconite for anxiety. they are not drugs and will just take away the nervous feeling. they don't make you drousy or doped up they just get rid of the buterflies in the stomach. I use homeopathy all the time, and its alot better than taking conventional medicine. you can buy them in Boots now or "all good health food shops" try them they really do work. I take Walnut drops in a bottle of water with me to work on days that I know I have to deal with a parents problem that is emotional and it stops you taking the other persons emotions on as your own. My staff laugh and say I'm on my happy drops, but they just stop me getting all emtional over other peoples problems. Good luck even after 30 years of driving I still get worried going somewhere different, and my husband was my driving instructor and he says I'm a good driver but strange roads still make me nervous. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted January 29, 2008 Share Posted January 29, 2008 Used to be exactly the same, but now like so many others always do a dummy run (with someone to make notes of landmarks) and always use google maps now. So not too bad - just avoid city centres on my own. If I can do it - you can too! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Verona Posted January 29, 2008 Share Posted January 29, 2008 I use my SAT NAV when I go anywhere new. I feel more relaxed being told where to drive, what turning etc. and not having to keep looking for road signs. I'm at that age when I forget any oral instructions If you have the time I would do a dummy run in daylight Mrsb. Like Rea, I don't mind clearing up body fluids, BUT DEFINITELY NOT anything from the nose !!! My staff know about this "fear" and usually get there first (bless them). Sue J Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Andreamay Posted January 29, 2008 Share Posted January 29, 2008 Rea- I have that fear too turning right that is but I will do it just come out in a cold sweat!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted January 29, 2008 Share Posted January 29, 2008 Telephonophobia. can make life really difficult but I'm in good company as Helen Mirren suffers from it too Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gezabel Posted January 29, 2008 Share Posted January 29, 2008 Hi Mrs B Sorry to hear you are getting in a tizz about driving to your tutorial but know just how you feel. My first tutorial with the OU was about an hours drive away and the very thought terrified me. I drive alot but 99% of it is on familiar roads so I am OK What works for me is printing an AA route in large print and sticking it in the car! I haven't got sat nav and would rather follow written instructions anyway. I will soon start the drive again with the first tutorial for my latest course being held in March but I know the way now - just always leave far too early just to be on the safe side - but I am happy to sit with a coffee waiting for others to arrive. If it's any good for you just type www.theaa.co.uk and click on 'get a route' it will literally do door to door details for you. Hope this helps and you manage to get there - mine have always been well worth attending :-) Good luck and do let us know how you get on. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
belle06 Posted January 29, 2008 Share Posted January 29, 2008 i totally sympatjise especially with andreamay i have a total phobia to motorways and if I have to travel as part of my job role and it involves any distance and motorways then I cajole one of my very good family members to chauffer me which they happily do Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted January 29, 2008 Share Posted January 29, 2008 It's good to know I'm not alone on this.....if I tell you I have SAT NAV built into my car you will prob say what's the problem then!!!!! I won't have time to do a dummy run as hubby away ski-ing with daughter so home alone with youngest. I've decided to go for it....going to give myself plenty of time and take it easy. Think I will print off a map from the AA as geraldine or biccy suggested so I have it in print aswell. Wish me luck and will let you know how I get on. Mind you I have been told we are expecting snow at the weekend so if that's the case.....NO WAY! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HappyMaz Posted January 29, 2008 Share Posted January 29, 2008 I take Walnut drops in a bottle of water with me to work on days that I know I have to deal with a parents problem that is emotional and it stops you taking the other persons emotions on as your own. My staff laugh and say I'm on my happy drops, but they just stop me getting all emtional over other peoples problems. Where can I get some Steph? Sounds just what I need to get me through the day. Maz Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Andreamay Posted January 29, 2008 Share Posted January 29, 2008 Bet the men would read this and laugh However my OH has a phobia to ironing cleaning shopping being wrong giving me any housekeeping (breaks out in a cold sweat) man UTD losing the list goes on Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dublinbay Posted January 29, 2008 Share Posted January 29, 2008 Bet the men would read this and laugh However my OH has a phobia to ironing cleaning shopping being wrong giving me any housekeeping (breaks out in a cold sweat) man UTD losing the list goes on This MAN sounds very familiar Andreamay!!!!!! I'm sure he is the man upstairs in MY bed suffering from MAN FLU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :wacko: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Andreamay Posted January 29, 2008 Share Posted January 29, 2008 WELL yes man flu!! dont get me started we BOTH went down with an awful flu virus christmas eve,guess who had to look after whom? and guess who did christmas? Got it in one Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HappyMaz Posted January 29, 2008 Share Posted January 29, 2008 In Peggy's absence I have to come to the defence of men. She and I have the great good fortune to have men who are domestic gods and (speaking for myself) without him our family would descend into utter chaos. Anyway, Andreamay - the men wouldn't be laughing at the thread about finding new places etc. Have you ever seen/heard one ask for directions? Sorry: couldn't resist the urge for a stereotypical remark there.... Maz Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted February 3, 2008 Share Posted February 3, 2008 very pleased with myself....I did it. I drove to my first tutorial without any hiccups! Well the only time I found myself driving around in circles was when I was actually in the university grounds....so big! Glad I did it and it was good to meet the other students doing the course. Now to get on with my first assignment...my next one is in March but I also have tutorial for E124 which I will prob go to as this one is only 10 mins down the road. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deb Posted February 3, 2008 Share Posted February 3, 2008 Well done Mrs B, you did it! I was also wondering where you get walnut drops from too, Steph? I use aconite, belladonna and chamomilla for my children's ear aches - very useful to know that aconite can be used for anxiety too. Keep a bottle of Bach's rescue remedy in my bag, came in useful last week when I had a difficult situation to deal with. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted February 3, 2008 Share Posted February 3, 2008 Well Done mrs b My turn next saturday the 9th been a mistake in dates and last minute changes!! That is stressful enough without the university hiccups!! Good luck Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted February 3, 2008 Share Posted February 3, 2008 Well done Mrs b, you should be very proud of yourself, lots of us are fearful of new things....especially me!! It inspires others when people like you admit and conquer their fears. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dublinbay Posted February 3, 2008 Share Posted February 3, 2008 Well done Mrsb. You faced your fears and came through. Hope the tutorial was worth it!!! I have to go to Derby for one in a couple of weeks but I'll probably go by train. Good luck with your studies. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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