Behaviour Advise Needed

[Guest]

I have a child who is 18 months old in my wobbler room. The problem is that she has started to scratch at other childrens faces causing some pretty nasty marks, and obviously upsetting them. It started a few weeks ago but in the last 2 days I have had to write out 6 accident forms! It isn't isolated to the children in my room, but also some of the older children outside. We are certain that these 'attacks' (for want of a better word) are unprovoked. Another child may be in her way for instance.

 

I have spoken to dad about the situation and all he could think of was her older brother who is in our preschool, sometimes teases her and she will lash out at him in this same way.

 

Anyway at the moment we are watching her like a hawk to try and avoid and intervene before anything happens. It is difficult because of her age & development etc, to explain about not doing it, and I know it is not uncommon behaviour along with biting and hair-pulling, (Had one of those myself, nightmare!!)

 

I wondered if anybody had any ideas on how to approach this situation. I don't want to be constantly in her space but I am not sure how else to avoid it.

 

Unfortunately one of the children were scratched on 2 days and this was difficult trying to explain that we were dealing with it.

 

I shall be asking dad on Monday about perhaps keeping her nails cut short to help.

 

Thanks in advance!

[Guest]

One of my charges was nearly 2 and she scratched - looked like she was stroking then came the scream!

 

1 Got parents to file her nails down to virtually nothing - no sharp edges and checked they'd done it every second night - in case they forgot (which they did quite often) I got written permission from them to do it myself

 

2 Showed her the scratch and the way she'd made the other child cry and spoke to her, telling her how upset her friend was

 

3 Asked her to spend some time thinking about what she had done and how she could show she was sorry - she understood enough about saying sorry to go up to the other child and give a hug

 

4 Told her she could rejoin the group when she felt she could play nicely - but she would be removed from the group if she did it again

 

5 Shared my strategy with parents - both written and verbally and asked that they did the same at home - explained how much it would help child if we followed the same approach....

 

It stopped within 2 weeks but was horrible while it was going on...... good luck! Sarahx

[Guest]

Agree with Sarah

Even though she is only 18 months you can still show her disaproval at what she is doing. I don't think you can verbalise to much because at 18 months you could talk til you are blue in the face and she still won't understand but a very firm no or stop and then if she does it again remove her. she will soon cotton on that she is doing wrong by the look on your face and actions.

If all else fails Cotton gloves like when they were babies, at least then you won't have the marks to show.

[Running Bunny]

Although you say they seem to be fairly random 'attacks' and not just limited to chidren in her room, have you tried an ABC form yet - Antecedent - Behaviour - Consequence (see attached form)

 

This allows you to track the incidents so that you can see if it was happening in a particular area, when a certain child was nearby, if it occured at a similar time of day etc. Whilst you can't see these things now, they may become clear when you keep a record. At least if you know that it happens just before lunch time, you can be on your guard!

 

I think the form is self-explanatory in that you look at what was happening just before the scratching, what behaviour was expressed, what were the consequences and what was the behaviour like afterwards (crying, calm, tired?)

 

I think that other members may have different variations of the forms, so you could do something that fitted in with your setting.

 

ABC_observation_form.doc

[Guest]

Today we had more of the same, even though we were aware of her whereabouts in the room. They are so quick. Two of the children came back off Easter hols and she caught them! Then again at the dinner table another child

 

I had a word with dad this morning and he was supportive about keeping her nails short.

 

Then a bit later a child was sitting at a table with the puzzles and she walked up behind her, next thing she had grabeed her round the throat and was squeezing

 

She loves her friends she always calls out their name and will smile and laugh alongside them, they are such random 'attacks' at all times of the day. She is such a sweet child in every other way, bit temperamental at times, but a nice child. She has been with us since she was a baby. The sad thing is mum is giving up work soon and she is leaving us at the end of the month

 

She is picked up by a childminder in the evenings and I did wonder if there was anything going on there with the other children perhaps. I need to speak to her.

 

Anyway thanks for the help, I like the form RB, useful for future use aswell.

[Guest]

Agree with RB's advice. If this is 'new' behaviour I think you've hit the nail on the head by thinking that imminent changes at home may have caused this child to communicate feelings of unsettlement / insecurity through this 'random' behaviour.

As she is so young, maybe also talk to the older 'victims' of how they can 'be aware', 'get out the way' and/or just understand that her attacks are due to her lack of communication abilities and not personal against them ( obviously in a way they will understand).

 

I hope the 'tension' dies down soon and you can enjoy some fun, giggly, affectionate moments with her before she leaves in a month.

 

Peggy

[Guest]

Oh dear, I thought we were having a good day today, right up until half an hour before she was leaving and she has started biting aswell now. She gave her friend a really nasty bite causing the arm to swell after.

I'm going to have another chat to parents tomorrow (only see them in the mornings as she is picked up by childminder in evenings)

 

children, don't ya just love em!!!!!

[dottyp]

We had a child visit our setting last week who will be joining us in Sept. He is just 2yrs old and we were told by his carer on

arrival that he has a tendancy to scratch other children. In the half hour he was with us he severely scratched another

child on the face in a totally unprovoked 'attack'. Although we have dealt with 'biters' and 'scratchers' before, our committee chair wants to put in writing the incident that took place on his visit and also 'three strikes' and he's out! I am at a loss as to how to word this 'pleasantly' as however I type it, it looks too harsh!!! can anyone help with a few appropriate words?

 

dottyp

[Gezabel]

We had a child visit our setting last week who will be joining us in Sept. He is just 2yrs old and we were told by his carer on

arrival that he has a tendancy to scratch other children. In the half hour he was with us he severely scratched another

child on the face in a totally unprovoked 'attack'. Although we have dealt with 'biters' and 'scratchers' before, our committee chair wants to put in writing the incident that took place on his visit and also 'three strikes' and he's out! I am at a loss as to how to word this 'pleasantly' as however I type it, it looks too harsh!!! can anyone help with a few appropriate words?

 

dottyp

 

Gosh not sure I can be much help! I would record the incident during the visit but as for the 'three strikes' I can't believe anyone would suggest 'he can come but once he has scratched three times that's it he will have to leave'. Please tell me I have misunderstood your message

[Cait]

I think you'll need to word it that parents should be aware that you will need to implement strategies to deal with the behaviour and get their agreement that they are willing to support you and work with you, possibly involving outside agencies if need be. (that might seem extreme but it may mollify committee - plus give you a starting agreement if you DO need to go down that route)

[sunnyday]

At the risk of stating the b******* obvious here.......short nails!

 

Advice from Cait is - spot on....will at least make it clear to parents and committee that you have ways of dealing with 'problem' behaviour........ could you enclose a copy of your behaviour management policy?

 

'Three strikes and you're out' is tempting...but hardly 'inclusive'

 

Sunnyday

 

P.S. Trisha's avatar is soooo scary!

Edited July 24, 2009 by sunnyday

[Guest]

oh my goodness - my daughter was a scratcher and sometimes a biter, I would have been horrified at these responses!! and would have felt completely villified as a parent

this is completely within the range of what is considered to be normal 2yr old behaviour - unacceptable yes - but still within the norms is it not?

I would suggest plenty of tactile actvities, keep those hands busy, try to give them things to hold in each hand whilst moving around the nursery and lots of observation to ensure you find out what the motivation is for scratching (i'm sure that is what you are doing anyway)

For my daughter, she usually scratched the face of another child she had tried to hug who had not responded in the way she wanted - and yes I felt hugely responsible and hated seeing another child with a mark on their delicate skin that my daughter had given them, it is challenging enough as a parent to deal with toddler behaviour but someone telling me that if my daughter behaved in that way 3 times she would be out would have been devastating.

I think other parents and the committee need to see that you are supporting this child to stop the behaviour and I'm afraid I could not agree to writing that letter

[Guest]

dcn - what excellent incite from someone who has been on both sides of the fence as it were.

 

As you say well within the norm for 2 year old behaviour that should be dealt with consistently and calmly. Children's responses to different situations are varied, as they are individuals.

[Cait]

I didn't mean to imply that I thought there was something 'abnormal' about the behaviour - and I totally agree that the 'three strikes' bit is just not on. I was attempting to suggest a 'middle of the road' response to try to keep everyone happy. It's useful to have insightful responses, dcn, and dottyp will no doubt be able to take a lot of those comments back to her committee before anything is committed to paper for these parents to be concerned about. I still think it would be very useful to make these parents aware that you may seek external help, if all your attempts between you don't 'solve the problem', but they should certainly be reassured that their child isn't the first you've had who has scratched and bitten and that there is a solution to it. After all, we rarely see executives at dinner parties scratching and biting because someone had the last after eight mint!

[Guest]

I know Cait

I also have no experience of dealing with commitees either

[dottyp]

Hi all

 

Thank you so much for all your input Cait, dcn, lalaloulou, sunny day and Geraldine. You have all confirmed my

'gut' feeling that 'three strikes and you're child's suspended' is not good practise and that's why I confided in you all

I have read through all your ideas and strategies and feel confident in helping this child and his parents move forward

in reaching an acceptable outcome.

 

thanks again

 

dottyp

[Guest]

A great range of responses, information is power as they say, the better we are informed the more able we are to make decisions to support all involved.

 

Everyone is here to give a different perspective and I think all should be taken into account....after all that is what the forum is for to get a different viewpoint, don't think there is probably a formula that will work for all children the same, so a little bit of information from lots of views goes along way.

[Guest]

This must be a very difficult situation, I know have been through it a couple of times before.

 

I found Running Bunny's idea of the ABC observation invaluable. It allows you to find out exactly what (if anything) sets him/her off, the exact behaviour, and the most important one for us was how staff dealt with the situation. Sometimes staff can almost reward this behaviour by saying "ooo thats not very nice" and lift the child on to their laps for a cuddle. Children also like the attention that their behaviour brings them be it 'good' or 'bad' it is attention. Have you thought of asking your Area Senco for additional help or funding for another member of staff to cover you or the senco whilst you did some in depth observations on this child? I know it is very difficult when 1 member of staff is needed to 1 child.

 

We soon learned that our child bit/scratched/pinched for the attention. When he did any of those things we said very firmly to him NO BITING and turned ourselves away from him and showed the child that had been hurt lots of attention. We had to have lots of staff back up because as you can imagine he then turned around and scratched another child. This took many weeks to get under control but as long as we were consistent with the consequence this unwanted behaviour diminished. We also praised him and gave him stickers when he showed 'good' behaviour. This all goes without saying that we also worked as you seem to be doing very closely with the parents.

 

Good Luck my thoughts are with you

 

Debbie