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I'm not your friend!

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A few of our children in our Reception class have taken to saying "You're not my friend/You're not my best friend," when a peer has something they want/they don't want to play with them at the moment. We have done work on emotions and talk ed about how our words make our friends feel. However, we do avoid saying statements such as "we are all friend" or "everyone can play with you," as that is not teaching children how to cope in reality. We use conflict resolution but wondered if anyone has any other ideas of how to explain simply to children that we need to be civil if not friends! 

It's mostly the children with older siblings that use these phrases so may well be using them without fully understanding what they mean!


Green Hippo x

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I find myself saying something like we are all part of the same team. We need to work together as a team. We need to be friendly to everyone. also ...we don't do that here ! it's not kind and is making people sad ...you wouldn't like it if they said it to you (kind of thing!) . It can be really unkind but is the way they work out how relationships work of course. 

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I always used to say something like "They may not be your friend, but you still need to be kind to each other." or "You may not all be friends, but you are all in X Class, so you're a team, and teams have to get on so that they can be the best. Do you want to be the best?"....and then get them all excited so that they forget about what they were arguing about! 

I would also bore them with a story about how there are some people that I have worked with that I may not be friends with but I will always say hello to and help them if they need it. 


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