Badmouthing and Ofsted complaints

[Sian_Williams]

Hi all, I am new to this forum and just wondered if anyone has ever experienced what we are currently going through.

Basically we are a fairly new setting (been open 16 months), private and based in a very small town where there are currently only 2 other nurseries.  Everyone knows everyone and word spreads fast.  Our problem is that a disgruntled parent (who we suspect has Munchhausens), has gotten together with another disgruntled parent and made a complaint to Ofsted about our setting relating to an accident.  These parents claim that their children bumped heads and that one of them had to be rushed to the emergency room that evening.  Ofsted carried out a surprise visit which lasted 4 hours and was satisfied with our response and the evidence that the child had a booked hospital appointment for that evening anyway regarding a UTI (which we proved by showing her the email from the parent).  Our problem is now, that because they did not get the results they wanted with regards to their complaint, they are spreading false and malicious lies about our setting around town.  We were due to have a new starter today but called yesterday to cancel.  When asked why, she admitted that she had spoken to her friend who had recently pulled her child out and wasnt happy with our setting.  Other parents who are 'friends' with these other two are now acting funny towards us and are being very rude and awkward so we are expecting them to hand in their notices soon.  

This is incredibly worrying as we are a small business and have funded our setting ourselves.  Word is now going about town and people are not going to use us.  We only have around 15 children in a day but they are all friends and know each other so it will only be a matter of time before we end up closing down due to lack of business.  We are now constantly treading on eggshells making sure everyone is happy but they are all fine to your face and just do it behind your back and on social media later.  Parents have also just left in the past without giving notice or paying their last invoice because we have refused them swapping their days and raised safeguarding concerns.  

Has anyone else had this in a small town?  We really dont know what to do to stop these lies from being spread and to stop people from taking the p by just leaving out of the blue. 

Any advice is gratefully received.     

Sian

[FSFRebecca]

Hello Sian, welcome to the forum - it's lovely to have you with us! 

What a horrible situation to be in, I really feel for you ...

There are lots of points in your post and I am sure people will come and offer some words of advice, support, experience!

• Ofsted carried out a surprise visit which lasted 4 hours and was satisfied with our response and the evidence that the child had a booked hospital appointment for that evening anyway regarding a UTI (which we proved by showing her the email from the parent).  Satisfy yourself that you did the right thing and Ofsted were confident that you had followed the correct notification procedures. Ofsted are very 'savvy' and are adept at spotting malicious complaints. If it were me, I would keep an extremely detailed diary of complaints / concerns raised and include what had / hadn't happened and what actions you took as a result (if any). That way if any complaint is investigated by Ofsted you will have a comprehensive record. Statutory Framework requires that you keep a complaints log anyway, I would be keeping a record of everything.
• they are spreading false and malicious lies about our setting around town.  If that is true and you feel there is a 'campaign' against you then I would seek some legal advice from your insurers or your professional organisation (PLA / NDNA for example). You can't stop people 'not liking you' or not agreeing with how you operate but you can expect them not to make up stories.
• Other parents who are 'friends' with these other two are now acting funny towards us and are being very rude and awkward so we are expecting them to hand in their notices soon.  This one is a little trickier - you could go for a 'charm offensive' and have a parents evening and do meet and greet / try out activities get together and chat whilst having meetings about key children. If you are feeling brave you could do a parent questionnaire and see what comes through. You should be prepared to revisit some of your methods / procedures - I am sure that you have done nothing wrong but sometimes after a complaint (we've all been there) to sit back and reflect and think "I know what I meant and I know what I what I wanted to happen - how could they possibly have misunderstood or misinterpreted me so badly?" Sometimes, it's hard to think we could have behaved differently or expressed ourselves more clearly - but the parents chose you in the first place .... what changed their mind?
• Parents have also just left in the past without giving notice or paying their last invoice because we have refused them swapping their days and raised safeguarding concerns.  I would always take a deposit equal to the amount of notice you require, then if they leave, they don't get their deposit back. Not swapping days is common so they will likely not find anything different elsewhere.

I would also be speaking to the local authority to see if there is any support you can access as a new business. If it were me, I would also look closely at what the other setting in the town are offering and make sure I was offering something completely different - having a unique selling point that taps into what parents want / need makes it hard for them to leave you.

Good luck, keep talking to us!

 

[Helen]

Great answer from Rebecca

I'd also think about getting the local press in- arrange for a fun day,opening event, a visit from the fire service, zoo, anything really! And really blow your own trumpet regarding your provision.

[finleysmaid]

Great replies

Personally as we live in a sort of 'village!' I jump on anything as quick as I can. My tips for this would be divide and conquer! take one parent aside and ask them if they are happy? explain that you have heard some rumours and wanted to ensure that they were fine and dandy with everything....any issues can you do anything to help....etc etc then tackle another one separately !

In my experience most people if you do this will back down quite quickly or will tell you what is troubling them and you can sort it out.

Starting a new business is tricky enough without this but be brave and face up to it don't try and sweep it under the carpet

Then have a 'special day' that your other settings in the area haven't done like Helen has said and sell it to the children !

[Sian_Williams]

Hi all

Thanks all for your lovely words and great advice.  It's very refreshing and comforting to have support from others!  We are taking the brave decision to send out a questionnaire and are reviewing all our systems and policies to make sure we do the best possible job and that our current parents are happy.  We now just have to ride this period out and wait for the dust to settle!

Thanks for making me feel welcome and i appreciate the time you took to respond to my desperate cry for help! 

Sian  

 

[FSFRebecca]

2 hours ago, Sian_Williams said:

Hi all

Thanks all for your lovely words and great advice.  It's very refreshing and comforting to have support from others!  We are taking the brave decision to send out a questionnaire and are reviewing all our systems and policies to make sure we do the best possible job and that our current parents are happy.  We now just have to ride this period out and wait for the dust to settle!

Thanks for making me feel welcome and i appreciate the time you took to respond to my desperate cry for help! 

Sian  

 

We're always here ... it's what we do 

[ladybirds1991]

Personally I would do a letter to give to all your existing parents giving the bare bones, obviously naming no names!, about the current situation and giving your side of things, add onto the bottom that if any parents have any questions on the above to come to you to discuss it and then see what happens from there.

[OliviaSheikh]

It is really hard to read your message....it isn't nice for you to go through and we have had parents who have not paid invoices and they can use calling OFSTED against us. I went to an Ofsted conference the other day and a number of providers mentioned OFSTED is used as a bit of a weapon now when parents are disgruntled. I had my first Nursery Parents Association meeting last night, We decided to start one mainly becuase we have had a change in management and everyone has had a bit of a wobble because of change. Parents were saying a few things and I heard 'I am not the only one who thinks this'. It was tough but I took a deep breath, sent an email and called  a meeting. We are now in the process of sorting NPA representatives and having monthly meetings. 

I really know what it's like...it is a rollercoaster. I own 4 settings and am so passionate about every single one of my staff and little ones but it can also be a tough environment and there is something new to learn every day. 

I would definitely call a meeting or do a questionnaire. It is hard to read negative feedback sometimes but it is better at reading it and fixing it than just being fed hearsay. Parents can't argue with someone taking action.

Wishing you lots of luck!x

[catlady]

I am sorry that this is happening to you. I live in a small town where everyone knows everyone else. 3 years ago we had a malicious complaint made against us by a parent to OFSTED. Luckily it was not taken any further, what I did was write to all the parents telling them of the complaint and asked them if they had any issues with our childcare. They were all very supportive of our setting. Like other posters have said above, send out questionnaires to parents asking how or, if things could  be improved.  If a parent complains or I hear whispers I always call them in and offer a chat and then a complaints form, usually they back down if they have been caught out. Sadly you are always going to get parents complaining about something. I have just recently had an Ofsted inspection and was asked about the complaint against us. I explained and had the paperwork ready and the inspector was satisfied with my explanation. Wishing you all the best. X

[Gezabel]

Has anyone been contacted by email from OFSTED?  A voicemail message left said that OFSTED had sent an email on Wednesday and had not received a response from us. By the time the voicemail was heard it was too late to phone OFSTED, The number the call came from was definitely an OFSTED phone number.

 

Just a bit of a mystery. We cannot think why they would send an email  and now have to wait until Monday to call them.

[Mouseketeer]

2 hours ago, Gezabel said:

Just a bit of a mystery. We cannot think why they would send an email  and now have to wait until Monday to call them

I received an email from Ofsted one Friday afternoon, not seen until to late to call them, it just said to contact them at my earliest convenience, I spent a very worrying weekend thinking that someone must have complained to them or something, it turned out that a new committee member had ticked a wrong box on the EY2 and they wanted to check it ....are you going through that process at all? I did tell them how anxious their email had made me feel all weekend and surely it could have just said it was regards an EY2 query.

What an awful experience to be going through Sian, I thought a while ago Ofsted were going to make some kind of stand against unfounded complaints because of how common it was becoming by parents just because they couldn’t get their own way and how much time it was wasting, if they didn’t they need to. Best Wishes

[Gezabel]

11 hours ago, Mouseketeer said:

I received an email from Ofsted one Friday afternoon, not seen until to late to call them, it just said to contact them at my earliest convenience, I spent a very worrying weekend thinking that someone must have complained to them or something, it turned out that a new committee member had ticked a wrong box on the EY2 and they wanted to check it ....are you going through that process at all? I did tell them how anxious their email had made me feel all weekend and surely it could have just said it was regards an EY2 query.

What an awful experience to be going through Sian, I thought a while ago Ofsted were going to make some kind of stand against unfounded complaints because of how common it was becoming by parents just because they couldn’t get their own way and how much time it was wasting, if they didn’t they need to. Best Wishes

Thanks for your reply. We are not committee run. We had to notify them a few weeks ago to say we were closed due to a positive COVID test. I wonder if it is some sort of follow up for that - will just have to wait until Monday i guess. Just never been contacted by email before. Just re read my message and meant to say we did not receive the email! Checked and doubled checked all email folders and no email!.

Edited February 20, 2021 by Gezabel

[Greenfinch]

Hi. Don't know if this helps. When you notified Ofsted re. Covid closure did you email them ( I did) or complete a significant events form? Ofsted phoned me and I had to give extra details as I hadn't completed the form. It would have been helpful if my advice from LA had told me this rather than just 'you need to notify Ofsted' as it was stressful enough as it was, trying to do everything right...btw the phonecall was very friendly.

 

[Gezabel]

5 hours ago, Greenfinch said:

Hi. Don't know if this helps. When you notified Ofsted re. Covid closure did you email them ( I did) or complete a significant events form? Ofsted phoned me and I had to give extra details as I hadn't completed the form. It would have been helpful if my advice from LA had told me this rather than just 'you need to notify Ofsted' as it was stressful enough as it was, trying to do everything right...btw the phonecall was very friendly.

 

Thanks for replying. We did the significant event form. The plot thickens though - the number the call was made from is definitely an OFSTED number. However, the voice mail asks us to phone back on another number - it is an 0300 number but when i google it the result shows it is in India. I know BT had workers in call centres in India - now wondering if OFSTED do too!!  

[finleysmaid]

14 hours ago, Gezabel said:

Thanks for replying. We did the significant event form. The plot thickens though - the number the call was made from is definitely an OFSTED number. However, the voice mail asks us to phone back on another number - it is an 0300 number but when i google it the result shows it is in India. I know BT had workers in call centres in India - now wondering if OFSTED do too!!  

Don't reply!! phone ofsted direct on Monday or email them . We have had many scams over the years i would be super careful. It is very easy to get all of our details from the internet.!!!!

[Greenfinch]

Agree 👏xx

 

 

[Cait]

Waiting with bated breath to hear what it was! 

[Gezabel]

6 hours ago, Cait said:

Waiting with bated breath to hear what it was! 

Sorry for the delay!!  It was a follow up after  our notification of a positive COVID case and resulting closure - phew!! The concern over the phone numbers was also sorted. The number we were asked to call (google has it as a number in India) is a genuine number and is the personal mobile of a chap who works for OFSTED. They are looking in to the fact that it comes up as being a million miles away!

[Gezabel]

Any thoughts on County Lines advice/informaton. Asking for a friend (honestly!!) who was quizzed in detail about the signs of concerns for preschool children relating to county lines. I understand there could be a safeguarding issue for a young chilld who has family members involved in such activity. My friend has been asked to have printed information for a staff notice board - struggling to find relevant information when we are talking about such young children. I am horrified to read children as young as 7 can be co erred into this !

 

[finleysmaid]

On 29/03/2023 at 19:57, Gezabel said:

Any thoughts on County Lines advice/informaton. Asking for a friend (honestly!!) who was quizzed in detail about the signs of concerns for preschool children relating to county lines. I understand there could be a safeguarding issue for a young chilld who has family members involved in such activity. My friend has been asked to have printed information for a staff notice board - struggling to find relevant information when we are talking about such young children. I am horrified to read children as young as 7 can be co erred into this !

 

surely all these things come under the same umberella ...as in if you are worried about a child do something about it ...and then follow up until you get answers....if we had all the separate issues listed on our staff noticeboards i feel none of us would read any of it!

[Gezabel]

On 31/03/2023 at 14:58, finleysmaid said:

surely all these things come under the same umberella ...as in if you are worried about a child do something about it ...and then follow up until you get answers....if we had all the separate issues listed on our staff noticeboards i feel none of us would read any of it!

You are so right but they were apparently insistent. One question was along the lines off "you have a family that you know do not have much money and suddenly the parents and child have new, very smart clothes and accessories the child has the latest technological toys et etc. what would you do??!!

[finleysmaid]

On 31/03/2023 at 19:41, Gezabel said:

You are so right but they were apparently insistent. One question was along the lines off "you have a family that you know do not have much money and suddenly the parents and child have new, very smart clothes and accessories the child has the latest technological toys et etc. what would you do??!!

wonder where they nicked it from ? or ask if the won the postcode lottery???? (sorry flippant answer! :)