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Unusual behaviour


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We have a child 3 1/2 years old who dis plays odd behaviour -he will run across a room to kick over someone's tower, walk past them and nip them or knock their hat off, squeeze their arm or pull their hair. He doesn't do this hard enough to cause pain but definitely hard enough so the other child notices.

On a 2 hour session I observed him do this 23 times.

He speaks well but isn't a good listener in conversations so I don't think its the only way he can communicate

Never seen this kind of thing before-any suggestions - it's almost like he is just doing it to get a reaction from them

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We've had boys doing this when starting with us - to make friends!

It obviously doesn't work because children withdraw from those who upset or hurt them. Explaining to the other children that they try to make friends but don't know how and then helping these children join in and build relationships has helped in our setting.

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Fine with change, no consistent reaction if someone reacts back-sometimes smiles sometimes he has already walked away from them so doesn't notice their reaction

We are emphasising kind hands at the moment cos we aren't sure how to tackle it with not knowing why he is doing it

Seems to be no trigger-does it to any child, any time of day etc

Edited by Rachael1820
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Fine with change, no consistent reaction if someone reacts back-sometimes smiles sometimes he has already walked away from them so doesn't notice their reaction

We are emphasising kind hands at the moment cos we aren't sure how to tackle it with not knowing why he is doing it

Seems to be no trigger-does it to any child, any time of day etc

Abc chart ? is it any particular toy? fair or dark haired child? boys or girls? or just completely random?

 

I'm afraid I dislike the term kind hands as I don't feel children of this age really understand what it means but if it's working then carry on! do Mum and dad notice nay of these behaviours at home?

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We have sometimes tried giving a very clear 'stop' sign with our hand and said 'no hurting' very firmly. We then give lots attention to the hurt child.

Also, quite separately, giving 10 minutes individual time at some point during the session, with an activity of the child's choice - not as a reward or withdrawn if s/he does not behave as you would want. We have found that sometimes that bit of unconditional attention can give the message that the child is accepted and loved, therefore making them feel more secure and therefore not need to get attention through undesirable actions.

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