garrison Posted July 9, 2015 Share Posted July 9, 2015 We have a child 3 1/2 years old who dis plays odd behaviour -he will run across a room to kick over someone's tower, walk past them and nip them or knock their hat off, squeeze their arm or pull their hair. He doesn't do this hard enough to cause pain but definitely hard enough so the other child notices. On a 2 hour session I observed him do this 23 times. He speaks well but isn't a good listener in conversations so I don't think its the only way he can communicate Never seen this kind of thing before-any suggestions - it's almost like he is just doing it to get a reaction from them Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wildflowers Posted July 9, 2015 Share Posted July 9, 2015 We've had boys doing this when starting with us - to make friends! It obviously doesn't work because children withdraw from those who upset or hurt them. Explaining to the other children that they try to make friends but don't know how and then helping these children join in and build relationships has helped in our setting. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
garrison Posted July 9, 2015 Author Share Posted July 9, 2015 He's been with us since January and does it to the boys whom he already plays with often so not sure that is why Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lsp Posted July 9, 2015 Share Posted July 9, 2015 It's fascinating watching children. Is there any language with this behaviour or does he show any emotions if there is a reaction from the other child or adults? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
garrison Posted July 9, 2015 Author Share Posted July 9, 2015 No language and no response from their reaction-it is one of the strangest behaviours I have ever seen Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
finleysmaid Posted July 9, 2015 Share Posted July 9, 2015 What other behaviours do you notice? is he flexible to change? what happens if someone reacts back? and how do you react when he does it? Have you done an ABC chart to work out the triggers? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
garrison Posted July 9, 2015 Author Share Posted July 9, 2015 (edited) Fine with change, no consistent reaction if someone reacts back-sometimes smiles sometimes he has already walked away from them so doesn't notice their reaction We are emphasising kind hands at the moment cos we aren't sure how to tackle it with not knowing why he is doing it Seems to be no trigger-does it to any child, any time of day etc Edited July 9, 2015 by Rachael1820 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
finleysmaid Posted July 9, 2015 Share Posted July 9, 2015 Fine with change, no consistent reaction if someone reacts back-sometimes smiles sometimes he has already walked away from them so doesn't notice their reaction We are emphasising kind hands at the moment cos we aren't sure how to tackle it with not knowing why he is doing it Seems to be no trigger-does it to any child, any time of day etc Abc chart ? is it any particular toy? fair or dark haired child? boys or girls? or just completely random? I'm afraid I dislike the term kind hands as I don't feel children of this age really understand what it means but if it's working then carry on! do Mum and dad notice nay of these behaviours at home? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
garrison Posted July 9, 2015 Author Share Posted July 9, 2015 Totally random children Dad says his big sister does it to him and so its learned behaviour I don't think he understands kind hands either but not sure what else to do Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted July 9, 2015 Share Posted July 9, 2015 We have sometimes tried giving a very clear 'stop' sign with our hand and said 'no hurting' very firmly. We then give lots attention to the hurt child. Also, quite separately, giving 10 minutes individual time at some point during the session, with an activity of the child's choice - not as a reward or withdrawn if s/he does not behave as you would want. We have found that sometimes that bit of unconditional attention can give the message that the child is accepted and loved, therefore making them feel more secure and therefore not need to get attention through undesirable actions. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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