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I had a situation at the beginning of term, where a child didn't have wipes and did a poo very close to going home. We didn't change child and Mum went mad. Hindsight a great thing, but we learnt our lesson, new policy in place and it wont happen again. I posted on here, and general feedback was.... What were you thinking!


Said Mum said she would destroy us, let everyone know and so far she is doing a great job! 2 parents have withdrawn their children. One said their child was happy with us, the other gave no reason.


Tonight I was forwarded a snapshot of a facebook page, where 2 parents were laughing about their children having diarrhoea and that playgroup would get it tomorrow lol!


I sent a copy to one parent, saying this has just been brought to my attention and reminded them of the 48 hour policy. Parent response was abusive, said I had violated her privacy (another parent sent it to me) and said... That's another child you have lost. The other parent... They are all friends and drinking buddies (at 4 in the afternoon) posted... Leader has been sent conversation and then went on to use very bad language.


Do I need to let Ofsted know? Worried about the fall out although I expect it as they all get together constantly. How many children need to leave to inform O?


Great start to the second half of term. No wonder moral is low.

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Hi Megamum, what a dreadful situation that you find yourself in. Can I ask are you part of PSLA and committee run or privately owned.

If you are PSLA under your constitution I would call an extraordinary meeting to enable you to talk to and listen to everyone's views.

Facebook is the bane of many people's lives. Are you able to contact them for removal of any slanderous comments.

If no official complaint has been made and all standards have been maintained then I don't think you need to contact Ofsted, however I do think you might need support to resolve this so a call to your Early Years team in your LA could be useful.

Hope you are able to find a satisfactory resolution to this.

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I'm not sure that you need to let Ofsted know............BUT, as always, keep copies of everything, so that you have a paper trail of what was said, by whom and when.That way, if Ofsted do become involved ( complaints suddenly start stacking up etc) you can show what happened and what you did to rectify matters.

As to 'violating privacy', if it's up on facebook, or other social media, then it's in the public domain, so your parent doesn't have a leg to stand on. However, you CAN demand that FB removes the comments and they should do so fairly quickly. If you are a member of PSLA, why not use their Lawcall service for advice, or if that seems a bit scarey, do they still have a local team who you can call on? And let your Early Years advisor know what's going on too.


It's awful to lose children, but it sounds as though ( apart from the obvious financial loss), you're well rid of this bunch of parents.It might be that other parents will be glad they've gone too. Good luck. keep your head held high. You know you made a mistake, but you have taken steps to rectify matters. We're all human. x

Edited by narnia
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good advice from Narnia, record everything , timeline, and witness statements of all where possible,


There was no privacy breached as you did not got go public with the comments that were for all to see on social media so hardly a private conversation. All you did was remind parents of your policies when a possible breach was discovered. You were very discreet as could have waited until they tried to bring the children in and then brought it to their attention in a very public way!

I really cannot see how they thought you would not be ringing them on first discovery to collect their children and them not allow them in for 48 hours minimum.. I find it a bit disturbing to think any parent would be willing to let an unwell child into a setting where they could potentially infect all the other children. They would probably be the first to complain if there was another child passing it on to theirs.

It may be a rough time for a whole but things tend to settle down and keeping confidentiality along with trying to sort things out will be hard..

You have sorted out your original issue and they are now the ones in the wrong and embarrassed as they got found out.. Unfortunately this makes them angry and wanting to take it out on someone, and the original target that failed is always the one to be blamed.. been there.. Time to remain professional and calm answering questions but not joining in any arguments with parents .

Good luck and hope you find a speedy resolution .

Edited by Inge
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Thanks everyone. Trying to weather the storm. I had an awful email from parent again today, now accusing me of not talking to her first and if I had, I would have realised it was not the runs but a change in child's diet! Apparently she is fuming and going to make a formal complaint. There were lots of unpleasantries and a final derogatory statement of how unprofessional I am.

I don't think I am going to read anymore.

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MegaMum, Keep your head held high. It might be worth contacting Ofsted just to say that this is occuring and they are threatening to make complaints but to date you haven't actually received a formal one. Could it be worth notifying the nice parents about the comments on facebook. And facebook can remove them - also I'm sure printed word is libel.

Plus record everything, if they are being abusive to you and you feel threatened then it can be a criminal offence.
Take care xx

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keep all , print emails etc and file togehter...

In My book. diarrhoea from whatever suspected cause needs to be treated as the same .. she says it is change in diet.. but there is now way of really knowing if it is diet or infectious... she is angry because she got caught out and challenged..

unprofessional would be to allow a child to attend who could potentially infect the setting, or speaking to her for all to hear.. you dealt with it personally, be it by email .. she should not have written the comment in the first place if she did not want to be picked up on it..

it is hard to not take it personally, these things hang around making you doubt yourself for a long time.. I know.. I ended up with my deputy making all the decisions for a while.. just make sure any dealings with this parent you are never alone with them... and record all...

yes I would call Ofsted and 'get in first'... sounds like she is going to take it further... even though it is of her own making...

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No, don't read any more but ask someone else - a deputy?- to keep an eye on the emails just to depersonalise the situation and spread the load around if you can.

Really hard to remain professional when you are under attack personally but please, please do your best to do so.

Will be thinking of you through these painful days.

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Another question lovely ladies. I re-read our complaints policy again today. It states talk to leader to try and resolve. Hmmm she is just hurling abuse.


Next, have chair try to resolve (awkward ... I don't want to say why on here)


If not resolved and they want to make a formal complaint, give form and get back to them in 28 days. I'm not conversing with her.


Parent has said she is going to make a formal complaint..... but hasn't asked for a form. Should I send one? What bit does this come under anyway on the form? I feel a bit paralysed by her abuse and when I reread what she is complaining about, it was such a poorly written e-mail, all it appears to be is me violating her FB privacy and rights and she feels that makes me a 'thoroughly unprofessional person'. Plus, she hasn't liked my actions of late!


I'm going to ring Ofsted tomorrow, but not sure really what to tell them as I really don't think there is anything substantial, other than she got caught trying to send her infectious child to us (i was sent another comment she put on FB saying child had had diarrhoea all week!) and is she back tracking big time! Plus, she is of course being led by the other parent that left.

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OFSTED now ask for complaints to be made online - https://www.gov.uk/government/organisations/ofsted/about/complaints-procedure

When you call ofsted just say exactly what has happened - a child's nappy wasn't changed as no supplies were given by parents (tell them it was at the end of a session) then tell them the parents reaction, how you saw the facebook posts and the details in the conversations from the parents - you MUST get in first otherwise it may well go against you :(

Good luck

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I rang Ofsted today. The lady I spoke to was very understanding and helpful. I felt such a sense of relief when I got off the phone. She said she would log it that I had rung to say there might be a complaint about the nappy, but was pleased I had taken action and re-written our policy and have wipes available now (at a charge, as suggested on here.)


As for the FB parent, she suggested if I get anymore abuse to seek legal advice (hubby is a lawyer!) or go to the police. She said I didn't need to fill in a complaint form as it was about FB not the child or EYFS related.


Think I will be able to sleep tonight. These parents have a lot to answer for, regarding the stress they put us through!


Thank you all for your support.

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We all moan about Ofsted but as many of us have found when dealing with these issues they tend to be very helpful, listen and understand what we are going through... plus as you have found if not related to their area will usually dismiss it .

well done, take that advice, (keep all the paperwork ) and forget her..

Pity the children are always the ones in the middle of this .. and often lose out.. not much we can do about it though..

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