Child behaviour and member of staff's child

[Guest]

Hi

So a new member of staff joined us shortly after the start of term bringing her child as part of the pre-schools membership.

Child 'S' enjoys one to one hugely but finds it hard to share, take turns and not be first (banged head on concrete path when this didn't happen). When things don't go 'S's' way 'S' will hit out, push, slap, throw toys. 'S' will react to most suggestions by saying 'No way' will not tidy up after snack and lunch and will often run away and hide under cushions giggling, seemingly making it a game. (Mum/Staff says S wants to be chased.) 'S' runs everywhere inside and out.

We have taken on board the fact that 'S' has come to a new pre-school and needs time to adapt and also has Mum there (although we have had this before)

I had to fill out an incident form today as 'S' slapped another child just because the child was sitting in a car and wouldn't get out and 'S' wanted it. I obviously had to ask mum/staff to sign it and asked if she had any concerns and she said no.

We have had a number of staff work here while their children have been here and have never had anything like this. The difference is a member of staff joining at the same time as the child.

Any thoughts or advice welcomed

R

[Upsy Daisy]

Do you have a concern about how the staff member is responding to her child's behaviour?

[Beau]

You don't say how old the child is. Also, what have you agreed in terms of behaviour management with mum? Is there an expectation that she will deal with her own child or that she should leave this to another member of staff?

[Stargrower]

We are going through a similar situation. We moved the child into a different room from his mother even though he wasn't old enough. This isn't very constructive or helpful but our rule now is that a staff member's child cannot attend nursery in the same room as mum, so if we were a pre-school with one group of children in one room, we would say no to staff's children attending. We have tried it several times and it just doesn't work for us.

[Guest]

Thanks for your replies,

The child is 3 years 8 months and will be going to school next year. Mum is generally very quick to deal with behaviour, taking child away from the situation and giving time out. Both I and our other member of staff have had to step in on occasion as child doesn't always respond to Mum. I have suggested that either I or our other member of staff always deal with situations but Mum says that she doesn't mind.

Stargrower, our committee wouldn't agree to child not attending as it boosts our numbers which are very low.

As I said we have never had this problem before, we are a small team and this is the first recruitment in over 5 years, the rest of us are still getting to know both Mum and child.

Will need to have a think about it over half term!

R

[Upsy Daisy]

I'm not sure what the issue is to be honest.

If the mother is dealing with the behaviour appropriately and doesn't mind stepping back to allow others to do the same, I can't see why the fact that this is the child of a staff member is the focus of your posts.

Why not just look at this as you would if you saw this behaviour in any other child and deal with it accordingly?

[Susan]

I think it could be in the child's best interests to encourage mum stand back and allow someone else to deal with the behaviour issues. He/ she will need to respond to other adults when at school and you will be able to see more easily whether the child has other needs that you need to address.

[Fredbear]

Well my granddaughter starts with us after half-term.

I expect the staff to react to any given situation the same as any other child in our care.

It would be unfair on the child to treat them differently.

 

Having a clear setting ethos and all staff and children understanding it is key.

 

We have had many staff members children come to us over many years and it generally works well for us.

[blondie]

we have always said that a child should not be in on session with their parent - it has always worked for us as means we dont end up with situation like this

[Guest]

My grandson attends my Preschool, but I am out of ratios and expect staff deal with him the same as any other child. If he is asked to do something and doesn't comply (he is 2yrs, 4mths) and I come into the playroom, if he comes to me I take him back over and ask him to do what he has been told to do. when he does I then say thank you for doing that for ..... (name of member of staff), As long as you all know what is expect of you, including mum then it can work.

 

[HappyMaz]

Whilst I found it quite stressful at times working in nursery with my children in attendance, I had a policy of appearing to turn a blind eye to any unwanted behaviour but bringing it to the attention of another practitioner in the group so that they could deal with it.

As Upsy says, if mum is supportive of the way the setting is dealing with her child and understands and agrees with the ethos of the setting then I can't see a pressing issue. Sounds to me like you're handling the situation professionally, and if mum doesn't have any concerns then I'd say you're on top of things.

Unless I've missed something, of course!

[himum]

We have a child that bites and I was hoping that some kind member may have a biting policy they could share with me. Thanks himum x

[Guest]

Thanks again for all comments. I think we are handling things in a correct and professional way. Time will tell as it's early days but it is always good to hear others views.

R