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I would like to compare the steps you take in your nursery or pre-school to manage behaviour issues. We currently have a new child who does not have any empathy for others or remorse after physically hurting other children; when I talk to him about his behaviour he just smiles - it is certainly not a nervous smile. The child justifies his actions by saying that the child in question e.g. wouldn't play his game ... let him have a turn ... or was 'running in the quiet room'.

I would like to re-visit our behaviour policy/steps to deal with unwanted behaviour and to check that it is clear for the children what happens when the 'rules are broken'.

Any thoughts would be appreciated.

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Oh I have children like this in the past but we just model good behaviour and use the other children as examples. So hard as the rest thing they can follow suit if ones doing it why can't they.

 

I find getting them to apologise very difficult as some are very stubborn and refuse to say it! But again those that will be use as models and lots of praise for doing so.

 

We do have one that has been with us a year and still refuses to say sorry

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how do his parents deal with this issue?

Personally i think some kind of time out might be worth a try.....what you want him to do is to realize that bad behaviour does not get him what he wants. The smiling appears to be a challenge (so what you going to do about it kind of thing!) but rules must be fair all the way round so if someone has taken his toy then this needs to be a join issue ....you can't just tell him off! Pointing out the other childs facial features and explaining what is going on is important (but i suspect he already knows he has upset them!) then trying to link it to their own life might be the way to go. To be honest the difficulty with behaviour is children are all different and unique ....what works for one does not work for another, so without knowing this little chap it's tricky. Make sure you catch him at the good behaviour and be specific as to what you like seeing

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Our general behaviour rules are 1. The child is asked to stop doing the thing they are doing because ........ 2. If child continues they are reminded and removed from activity and found something else to do with an adult, 3. If they continue their behaviour they are sat out in a quiet place with an adult and stopped from interacting for a couple of minutes, hardly any get to 3 but we have had a few who have pushed our buttons and their luck.

 

I think fairness for all counts highly and really someone staying close to this child for a few sessions so that they don't get an opportunity to misbehave because an adult is on it or preventing it immediately. After a few good sessions lots of praise you may make some in roads. Good luck

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I think this sounds harsh. He is a child, how is his development, is it delayed? His age will determine what he is capable of.

what is happening prior to the unwanted behaviour.

Giving him coping strategies, help him Verbalise and use language to deal with things that are happening to him.

 

I never ask a child to say sorry because most young children do not have empathy at their stage of development. So saying sorry if they say it doesn't mean anything or if they don't what are you going to do pin them down until they do? We discuss behaviour we talk about problems and we try to help the children to solve their own issues.

 

Every child is different and I think it is to difficult to have a policy on reprimands for behaviour or actions. a policy for staff so you are all constant on behaviour is a different matter.

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