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Bereavement


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One of our mums has, very sadly, lost her much wanted baby, just two weeks before it was due to be born. I have sent a message to say how sorry I am to hear the news and offering to have her other children for any extra sessions she might need, but what else can I do to help her and her family through this? I do have some experience, as my sister had a stillborn baby at full term, but it's a little easier i think, when it's your own family? I will expect to keep things normal for the child who comes to us and her sister, who attends sometimes after school, but what to say to them if they become upset, or ask anything?

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I think you need to keep it simple, have you read "We were going to have a baby, but we had an angel instead" (I challenge anyone to read that and not be emotional) It's about just this situation, and helps children realise what's happened.

 

Keep it as normal as you can, be there for them (as I know you will be) and just do what you can do. Allow the grieving to go on and be supportive and some open arms they know they can come to if they need you. Big hugs

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I am sure you will be doing this already, but we always asked family what they had been told and how they wanted us to approach any of the questions asked... we often found they would ask us things they did not want to ask family as they could see how upset they were and did not want to add to that... particularly those who were of an age to realise the upset it was causing.

 

and to be aware that other parents may also need some information or may ask questions - just so that anyone seeing her and not knowing what had happened asking about the baby.. but again it is a need to ask what parents want done..

 

as Cait says.. (hugs)

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we have just had a similar situation xD just give the family time and take your lead from them , they and the child may see your setting as a safe haven where they dont have to discuss this painful issue. Go with the flow and be open to questions, allow for more time at drop offs and pick ups if necessary...it may be one day they want to talk and the other they will run away from it all. Be a rock to offer support and empathy, offering information when requested. (only my opinion of course :o my thoughts are with you all

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