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Do You Ever Feel Like Screaming 'i Have Children Too' !


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Same happens every term, parents evening comes along and they all book their appointments after they finish work and expect me to have their children!!!

 

Last term one parent never told me and i was sitting with my coat on ready and she turned up 30 minutes late and said she had been to parents evening, i rushed to school but had missed the teacher as she thought i was just not coming and had no one else left to see, i was so upset and down right angry!!!

 

Same parents again have booked app for 5.40 tomorrow and asked me to have dd from school, then stormed off when i said actually no, as i have to be at school for 5.30, i am not contracted for Wednesdays and actually did try to get them to revise contract as they have been using a Wed so the grandmother who is here from India doesnt have to walk to school but they wouldnt as they would have to pay me for a full day for their son whislt at the moment they only pay for 3 hours :o

 

Just had a snotty text saying another parent of a mindee will pick her up from school at 5pm!!! They are still presuming i will pick her up at 3.20 and take her back to school with another mindee whos mum made arrangents to finish early to be at school and i said i would drop off before my meeting at school, it no big deal having her but i hate the way they make it that their children are more important than mine!!!!

 

Anyone else ever had this problem, ho hum rant over lol

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I have had recent experience of a family who took my time totally for granted by turning up early and dumping their son in the hall and arriving late when it suited them. They too had no understanding of the fact that I have my own children too. In the end I gave them notice because I couldn't cope with their attitude to me needing a bit of flexibility when my daughter was refusing school and in a really bad way. My children didn't need to hear them speaking to me like that.

 

I think people sometimes forget that you're a person with a family too and it's hard to fin d a way to remind them without putting their noses out of joint. I know they wouldn't dream of turning up half an hour after the nursery shut so why turn up half an hour late at the childminder's?

 

Like you I don't mind being flexible but I do mind people taking that flexibility for granted and being snotty when I can't fit my family life around theirs.

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I know they wouldn't dream of turning up half an hour after the nursery shut so why turn up half an hour late at the childminder's?

I'd beg to differ there! :o

 

It sounds to me like you're being entirely reasonable - no-one minds helping out in an emergency but really I feel that for some people the more you do the more they expect. If the relationship is going to be professional then you need to be able to stick up for yourself - the trick is doing it assertively and not causing offence, as Upsy Daisy said.

 

Good luck - it must be hard to balance the personal and the professional!

 

Maz

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I agree I have a pre-school and I have permanent late parents. always turn up 15 - 20 minutes late so I charge for every 15 minutes. It was the only way around it. It does work when their bill at the end of a month is alot more than they thought.

 

Its always the same ones. They now make sure they are with ua before the 15 minutes is up!!!!!

Usually 14minutes :):):):) but at least its not 30 !!!!

They forget we have lives and don't sleep at pre-school :)

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Anyone else ever had this problem, ho hum rant over lol

 

Oh, YES!!!!!!

 

When things go wrong it's horrible because all the ill-feeling is brought into your home.

 

One particularly memorable (for all the wrong reasons!) parent had a rant at me on the school car park, in front of my daughter, her son and daughter, and a parent from school when she had failed to arrive on time to collect her children.

 

Her phone went unanswered and I had to leave to collect my own daughter from school band and be at another school 15 minutes later to pick up another mindee from a regular after school activity. I text her and left a voice message explaining and asked her to meet me at the 2nd pick up point.

 

I was accused of not being able to tell the time, changing arrangements without discussion blah, blah.... she swore she'd arrived at my home on time and that I'd left early. Fortunately I was seen leaving (late!) by the parent of another mindee who'd returned to pick up a forgotten book bag and the nursery nurse who lives opposite me who happened to work at the same school as the irate parent xD

 

She slammed into her car and screeched off the carpark, leaving me shaking and upset and furious that she'd been so disrespectful to both me and my then 13 year old daughter. I sent a text to both her and her husband explaining what and why I'd not been able to wait, said I felt her reaction was unreasonable and that I'd do the same again as I was not prepared to ever be late to collect my daughter or another minded child.

 

She hand delivered a letter giving immediate notice the next morning and the children never returned :( The Nursery Nurse came to see me after school that day to say the parent had taken her 2 year old into reception class with her until she got him an emergency placement at the attached day nursery :o

 

When I asked if my name was mud in the staff room she laughed and said "not at all, she's had loads of people tell her she's mad to throw away a 4+ year relationship with an Outstanding childminder because she got caught out and couldn't control her temper or be big enough to admit she was in the wrong and apologise"

 

I filled the 2yr olds place a week later - just before she asked the Nursery Nurse to find out if I'd still got the places available "as she MAY have been hasty" !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

It was horrible at the time but I certainly learned from it. I set clear boundaries from the start with parents now and if I can't/won't or don't want to do something I say "NO!" So for my daughter's parents evenings I put a note on all invoices saying I will be unavailable after whatever time it is on that day and would they please ensure that they have picked up before then. I also remind them at the start of the week and the day before and (fingers crossed!) have had no problems since with parents pushing their luck :(

 

Be assertive - they're lucky to have you!

 

Nona

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I'd beg to differ there! :o

 

Fair enough. I think what I meant was that they'd at least be aware they were pushing the boundaries and breaking an agreement by being late whereas there seems to be an assumption that it will never inconvenience a childminder because she's already at home anyway. Therefore there's no need to feel rushed or apologise.

 

I do add the time to their bill but I'm considering charging a higher rate for time outside contract to prevent people being habitually late rather than extending their contract to cover the hours they need.

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I completely sympathise with you. This sort of scenario was partly why I gave up Childminding. There certainly seemed to be an expectation from many parents that you would be completely flexible at their whim, regardless of whether they contacted you in advance or not. As time went on I tried to become firmer with parents but it was difficult to maintain this professional distance whilst also trying to build up a friendly relationship. In the end I decided that Childminding just wasn't for me! :o

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we are a preschool, and always have pate parents. but i let them off 2 times, ust in case it is an emergency

 

then if they do it again they get charged £5 for every 15 mins that they are late. including up the the first 15, if you get what i mean. our usual hourly rate is £3.60

 

they get an individual letter with the relevant policies and sheets they have signed included and are given a week to pay up, stating i have to cover staff wages for the additional time they used.

 

it does seem to work, short sharp shock!

 

it is really hard as many of my staff members have school pick ups not long after finishing here and with the busiest level crossing in hampshire to contend with!!!

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thanks for helping me feel a bit better that i am not the only one who has these issues :)

 

It got better, the other mindee's mum had to work late so they had to come and collect from me, they both got out the car, we were ready at the door to leave and i knew they were going to say something, and i was correct, mum said there was a problem with their invoice, so i asked what, she was very sarcastic and said i had charges them for 30 hours, i said yes, she then went 3 x 9 =27, i agreed, she said so why are we paying for 30, so i took great pleasure in reminding them that they have 3 hours on a wednesday morning booked, and becasue they had put of changing the contracted hours was the reason i was unavailable tonight!!!!

 

My hubby was furious, everytime i say no to something they want they come back with something, the other week when i had asked them to collect early on a Friday (not contracted) because i was going out they came on the monday and said they didnt think there son was having his nappy changed enough!!!

 

I really wish i could find another fulltime child, it is a shame though as the 2 children are lovely :o

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it is a shame though as the 2 children are lovely xD

 

and that, my friend, is ALWAYS the case :o The loveliest ones have the parents who are not !

 

Nona

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  • 2 months later...

Hi all

 

Im a bit out of date for this topic.. but i have to say i can relate to what Nona was saying

I am at a point now where i will no longer work as a childminder, the negative impact from disrspectful parents and the added stress is having too much of an impact on my own family! and to be fair it is a thankless very poorly paid job, after 4 years i can take no more!

 

Jo

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