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Well I have just had one of the worse days ever. I've been managing 10 years and I have never had a new parent complain about just about everything! One the child's second day her list of complaints, which she told me on her way out after dropping him off included;

she didnt think sand was appropriate

she didnt think shells in the room was appropriate

she thought alot of the toys were not appropriate

(she wouldn't gve me chance to explain the reason for these resources)

the cot room floor was dirty; it had scuff marks on it apparently (I told her we have a cleaner)

he had nappy rash, she agreed he was changed regularly but wanted him changed more often

he didnt get his milk in the afternoon (even though she hadnt put it on his care plan)

the Key Person didnt come and speak to her; she was painting with another child; so I explained about the KP and buddy and that the buddy should have spoken to her (buddy tells me she did in fact speak to mum)

she told me the room was busy and if I didnt have a place for the child then I shouldnt have offered her one. I explained about ratio'sand if I hadnt had a place then I wouldn't have offered it to her.


She then didnt collect him for another 7 hours (even though she is still on maternity leave after having had him!)

She then continued to bring him back.


She came in today and said she wouldnt be bringing him back (she has already handed her notice in on the day he started as the family is going back overseas and she will leave him with grandparents until he is older), I said that's a shame but she would still be required to pay the 4 weeks notice, to which she replied she wouldnt be paying as we have not provided her with a service she is happy with; then proceeded to list everything that she thinks is wrong with the room, She wouldn't listen to anything I had to say and got louder and louder, in the end I invited her to put her concerns in writing and I would make sure they went to my line manager. She then went down to the room (child not in today) I followed her, she told the staff in a sweeter than sweet voice that the child wouldn't be back, but he probably would be when he's older!!!


I've been managing 10 years and this is the first time I have ever encountered such abuse, dont get me wrong I have had disagreeements wth paents before, but not to this extent (I know from reading some posts on here that I have been ncredibly lucky). I am confident that we handled everything correctly and appropriately and I am sure this is a case of "new-mum-itis", however her attitude towards me and my staff and the nursery has left me feeling quite down; my own maternal instinct towards my staff came to the fore!!


I just needed to get it off my chest - thanks for listening!!!!!

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Janny1960 - seems like you are very much better off without her!


I suspect she was using you as a stop gap because she needed a few days to organise things but couldn't find anyone to have the child and deliberately complained because she knew what she was going to be doing in the end! Never ceases to amaze me how the parents that make the most fuss about getting a place, must have one, must have one, we've heard such lovely things about this nursery etc... blah blah,.... generally turn out to be those that suddenly move, or hubby gets a job overseas, up north or whatever and lo and behold, we are going in 2 weeks time! THEY ARE A PAIN.


You know how good you all are and that little boy had the best of care while you had him - at least you can escape his mother - he can't!

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Oh Janny1960 what a pain for you. It really is her and not you so please try not to let it get to you (easier said than done I know).


You are not alone here - I had a parent who used our after school club for years with never a word of complaint. However, during the summer term she got into arrears with her fees so I wrote to her asking her to clear her account before her child left us to move to high school. Well surprise surprise she pulled her child out there and then (2 weeks before the end of term) and said there was no way she was paying her arrears because of a whole load of 'problems' she had with the club. She critised the staff, resources, setting and even got very personal with me.


You know that you are doing a good job and so do all the other parents who rely on your care. Just be glad you won't have to deal with her again - I bet she'd have been a right pain.

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Sounds like you had a very lucky escape - it's often the parents that are the headache not the children!

I'm sure all settings can relate one way or another to your story, myself included. Just take a deep breath

and continue to do a fab job for the mum's who do appreciate everything you do! :o



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There's always one!! and every setting has one!! :(


I gave mine notice in July after she deducted 1 hours fees a week, backdated to March, for when she picked him up early for his swimming lesson! No discussion, just a note left on the piano in my home when she picked him up :o


It was the final straw after 13 months of fulltime care, plus hours of referrals and assessments I'd organised as he wasn't reaching his developmental guidelines. Mum was in denial and thought I was doing it to justify myself! I had great support and backup from my Network and The Early Years Team who shared my concerns.


I was sad but relieved when she didn't bring him back for the notice period and put it down to experience although it all left a nasty taste at the time.


Mum wouldn't, and hasn't, spoken to me since - not even when she paid me via childcare vouchers 2 months after he left!!


The voucher company can't accept a credit back from my bank, they can't "un-redeem" a voucher and were only following the parents instructions!


They told me to wait until Mum contacted me to ask for it back as I'd need something in writing for my Accounts Book to show the payment was in error (in their opinion if I issued a cheque to her she'd be unlikely to sign a receipt for it and my own bank recommended I didn't do this as, because the payment was in error, I didn't receive the e-mail notification of payment so there was nothing on their records to say which parent/child the money related to!!)


2 months later the money is sat in a seperate account waiting for the parent to ask for it back! xD I've even tried mentioning "in passing" that I have a stray payment waiting to be claimed to a friend of hers but STILL she hasn't contacted me!


I didn't think I was THAT scary :(


PARENTS - you just can't beat them!



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Thank you all for your kind replies, they have really boosted me!


I have carried out a full investigation and yes we did everything right, as did the staff in the childs room. Yes we are well rid of the mum and I do feel sorry for the child..............bless him.


Just proves that we do this job for the love of it.................................onwards and upwards!!!



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2 months later the money is sat in a seperate account waiting for the parent to ask for it back! :o I've even tried mentioning "in passing" that I have a stray payment waiting to be claimed to a friend of hers but STILL she hasn't contacted me!


I didn't think I was THAT scary xD


My guess would be that she is too embarrassed to approach you. How long do you have to wait before you can just keep the money? I would imagine that you are entitled to withold some to cover what whe deducted from your earlier bill anyway.


Whatever job we do we will come across unreasonable customers. I have noticed over the years that the parents who work hardest to get out of paying tend to be those with the highest incomes. I had one who spent 30 minutes standing in my hall quibbling about 15 mins fees for one day a week (about 50p and the contract stated clearly that I charge by the commenced half hour) when she had just come back from a two week holiday in Florida and told me they had travelled business class because travelling economy would have ruined the holiday!

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:o Oh Upsy Daisy, that made me laugh!


I haven't been told how long I have to wait and see what happens. I'm left in a sort of limbo over it really.


When she left I wrote off the amount she'd deducted and the overdue fees for early arrival and/or late pickup rather than get into an ongoing battle. Perhaps that's a factor in her not chasing the return of this money?!


Fortunately I know that it isn't causing the family any financial hardship and I'm sure you're right about her being too embarrassed to get in touch - she's an accountant and financial director of the family business and won't be keen to admit her mistake in paying me!




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