Guest Posted February 1, 2009 Share Posted February 1, 2009 (edited) Echoes of what others have said I have been thinking of you Narnia. Friendship for me is a bit difficult....I have taken years to learn how important it is to have firends. My best friend is my husband and has been the bestest for 23 years - I believe when I met him I hadn't really had a best friend before as I found it difficult to make friends and still do - I don't believe I am strange (anymore) because of that but as the years have gone on I have realised that it is as a result of my childhood that relationships are difficult for me....so meeting my husband and having five children has taught me all about the values needed for friendship unconditional love, compassion, empathy, respect and finally at the age of 40 (life is so precious) I have realised that I can have friends too - as well as my husband. So my problem now is I haven't really formed firm friendships as I haven't put the effort in before (family first and not much time for anyone else) so I am making friends now! It's nice isn't it!! Of course my forum friends have always been easy to form relationships with and for that I am SOOOOOO grateful. When I have had low patches you are always here for me it is so nice. I have found virtual friendships easier as I don't have to leave my family to 'meet up' - particluar forum members have been a guiding light for me over the last 4 years - thankyou thankyou thankyou - you know who you are!! Keep well Narnia-you lovely lady Aliamch - my taste in music is very similar to yours !! (information gathered from your Facebook page - we will all have no secrets ) Edited February 1, 2009 by Guest Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HappyMaz Posted February 1, 2009 Share Posted February 1, 2009 but as the years have gone on I have realised that it is as a result of my childhood that relationships are difficult for me.... So my problem now is I haven't really formed firm friendships as I haven't put the effort in before (family first and not much time for anyone else) so I am making friends now! Oh shirel your post struck such a chord with me - these things go very deep don't they? For the longest time I got by without proper friends - lots of acquaintances who had mutual interests or who needed some skill or attribute that I needed to give. However once the crisis had passed or the interest waned there was little to sustain the relationship and we would drift apart. Now I have a few really close friends who I know I can call upon when I am in dire need of support (or a giggle) and even fewer who will ring me or text me and ask me where I am if I have been out of circulation for a while to check that I'm ok. It is the friends who wonder where I am but don't take offence that I haven't been in touch that I value the most: those who don't necessarily understand me but love me just the same (you see hali - that plaque was very very apt indeed!). Narnia: only you could inspire such a bitter-sweet thread such as this. What a wonderful woman you are! Where's the slightly teary/over emotional smiley when you need it? Maz Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cait Posted February 1, 2009 Share Posted February 1, 2009 I'm the same really. The only proper close friend I have is Mike. I have lots of acquaintances and folk I'll happily chat to, but no proper friends. My staff are, my staff. We socialise and have a laugh, but don't have to type of friendships that take us to each other's homes or lives. I went to school in Leeds and left all my old buddies behind. I suppose if we'd had texts and facebook and stuff back then we could have kept in touch, but as it is we all drifted apart. I have recently tracked down my old 'best friend' through Friends Reunited, and she's living in Australia now. This all sounds a bit sad really, but I can't say I have ever missed having a 'bosom pal'. I have loads of cyberfriends here, and I thank you all for your unquestioning support and friendship. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HappyMaz Posted February 1, 2009 Share Posted February 1, 2009 I have loads of cyberfriends here, and I thank you all for your unquestioning support and friendship. That's ok Cait - bill's in the post.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cait Posted February 1, 2009 Share Posted February 1, 2009 Hehe - I'll post you a scone Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HappyMaz Posted February 1, 2009 Share Posted February 1, 2009 Hehe - I'll post you a scone Hope it doesn't have dead flies in! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cait Posted February 1, 2009 Share Posted February 1, 2009 ew! why would it! Not currant scones. These are yummy cheese ones. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sue R Posted February 1, 2009 Share Posted February 1, 2009 The BEST!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hali Posted February 1, 2009 Share Posted February 1, 2009 M - glad the plaque was apt thought it would be! xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrsWeasley Posted February 1, 2009 Share Posted February 1, 2009 Gosh, this thread is getting a bit too emotional - even for my standards! It's also brought up some memories, which I wasn't going to post but seeing as other people have shared theirs I will. I lost my "best friend" around September last year. We'd just gone into sixth form, and it had been a real shock to us all at the change in standards and amount of work that was expected. I quickly fell behind, and got very very stressed! I couldn't sleep at night worrying about how far behind I was in most of my subjects and I got very ill! And it wasn't until we did a Stress module in Psychology that I realised I needed to sort it out, so I quit full time education and just went in 2 days a week to finish my photography course. It was a really hard time - I would never ever ever have guessed I'd become a "drop - out" but it was also a huge eye opener.. I found out who my friends were.. and more importantly who wasn't. I found out my best friend, and some other close friends were spreading rumours about me saying I wasn't really ill and all this. So I soon cut them out of my life. But loosing 1 best friend, I gained 2. During the time I was ill, my boyfriend was always there whenever I needed him. I once asked him what made him stick around, and he quoted Marilyn Monroe to me "If you can't handle me at my worst - You sure as hell don't deserve me at my best" and then after a pause said "So I'm sticking around because I want your best" and that's why he's my best friend. My second best friend, I don't see much of. But I get a text every now and again from him simply saying "Thinking of you. Hope you're alright" and that's all we need. But when we do see each other, we'll spend 3 days in a row together, living like pigs and watching rubbish TV! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aliamch Posted February 1, 2009 Share Posted February 1, 2009 Aliamch - my taste in music is very similar to yours !! (information gathered from your Facebook page - we will all have no secrets ) Admittedly they are only a few of my favourites, I've have so many I could go on forever, and probably will be adding to it.! Karrie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Inge Posted February 2, 2009 Share Posted February 2, 2009 friendship.... someone who is there for you whatever, non judgemental, accepts you for who you are not try to change you, gives space if you want it and does not get upset when you say ' leave me alone' and there when you ask for help someone I can trust My best friend has always been my husband....and it takes me time to open and trust others , but I have found some which started as colleagues and parents but have become friends Along with the virtual ones of course........Thank you Inge Have been thinking of you Narnia recently... keep positive.........xxxx Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted February 2, 2009 Share Posted February 2, 2009 A friend is someone who can make you laugh when you're crying and cry with laughter at other times! Nona Narnia - good to see you back in here, I've been wondering how you are? Thought of posting a "Where is Narnia?" thread but knew someone would tell me "through the wardrobe"! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HappyMaz Posted February 2, 2009 Share Posted February 2, 2009 Thought of posting a "Where is Narnia?" thread but knew someone would tell me "through the wardrobe"! Nah - a telephone's a much better bet, nona! Maz Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hali Posted February 4, 2009 Share Posted February 4, 2009 OK - a friend is someone who leaves you a little note when you enter work saying 'Good Morning Alison Remember your Outstanding' - made my day, week and ven year so far - thank you so much M xxxxxxxxx Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HappyMaz Posted February 4, 2009 Share Posted February 4, 2009 OK - a friend is someone who leaves you a little note when you enter work saying 'Good Morning Alison Remember your Outstanding' Well I only say these things because they're true! Maz Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hali Posted February 4, 2009 Share Posted February 4, 2009 your a gem Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cait Posted February 4, 2009 Share Posted February 4, 2009 Yes you're a star - you both are such a help Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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