Guest Posted January 4, 2009 Share Posted January 4, 2009 Hi, My 8yr old is going through early puberty - hair changes, mood swings, body odour etc. She has had blood tests which reveal nothing awful happening but I have one very confused little girl who asks "Why do I have to use deodrant- my big sister who is 10 doesn't". I have xplained that people grow at different speeds and sometimes things happen to one person and not to another until later but I need to find a suitable book to read to her about puberty, periods etc and don't know what to use. I already have "What's happening to me? by Usborne" but thats not really in language for an 8 yr old. Any ideas or support would be welocme as i feel useless as a parent at the moment, not helped by a comment from her grandparents that "Katie's greasy hair and bo are just because she doesnt have enough baths or her hair washed often enough" She had had a bath the night before she saw them and had her hair washed at the same time. Her father and I are divorced so the girls saw the grandparents with him for an afternoon and then came home with all these comments which were also made to my husband on the phone by my ex. Sorry to ramble but........ Nicky Sussex Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rea Posted January 4, 2009 Share Posted January 4, 2009 Sorry I cant help with a book, but if you do find one, you might like to let the grandparents read it too! What a shame that she feels so confused. I was at primary school when I needed a bra and had my periods. I didnt feel able to talk to my mom about the changes, I was too embarresed and confused, but your little girl has you who are showing concern and helping so please dont think you're a rubbish parent. None of us are superheros, we battle on as best we can. Hopefully somneone will be along with some good book suggestions Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hali Posted January 4, 2009 Share Posted January 4, 2009 oh dear - sorry i cant help with a book either but you sound like you have a good relationship with her - so just keep talking and reasurring. You are not a rubbish parent so please dont think that but as Rea says we do the best we can! good luck hun Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shiny Posted January 4, 2009 Share Posted January 4, 2009 Although I can't help with your questions I just wanted to let you know I am thinking of you at this really difficult time. I can't believe that the grandparents could be so insensitive!! I'm sure someone more helpful will be along soon!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest mukerjee1 Posted January 4, 2009 Share Posted January 4, 2009 (edited) Hi Nicky, Sorry to hear you seem to be getting more support from your tights than your daughters grandparents. I can recommend a book we have used in school for 9 - 13 year olds. It called 'Hair in Funny Places' and has a great picture book format, and the author uses humour and a wise old bear called Ted to cleverly introduce and simply explain the many complexities of puberty to younger children. Here are the details: Written by Babette Cole Published in 2001 by Jonathan Cape Ltd, London ISBN:9780786805907 There are 26 copies avilable from Amazon uk from £2.46. Hope this helps. Fiona Edited January 4, 2009 by mukerjee1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted January 4, 2009 Share Posted January 4, 2009 (edited) I too struggled to find suitable books when the eldest was developing so young. I contacted the school nurse for help and she gave me a collection of literature. Most too old but they did help ME to explain to her what was happening in simple terms. It came down to me talking to her and using opportunities that arose with my own hygiene to discuss things. Maybe a quiet word with her class teacher so she knows what you doing at home just incase comments are made at school? Babette Cole writes great books and 'Mummy laid an egg' is a good one for discussing sexual development. Nothing we can do to stop nature just help our daughters with our understanding and support. Suitable books on Amazon Edited January 5, 2009 by Guest Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cait Posted January 4, 2009 Share Posted January 4, 2009 She has my sympathy, as do you. I was 10 when all mine started, and back then (38 years ago) my own mum couldn't explain what was happening to me, because no-one had really told her! She was just told that 'these things happen to women' and that was that. The person who helped me most was my 14 year old brother who was having sex ed at school at that time. It wasn't until I did sex ed myself at secondary school that I was able to fully understand, and teach my mum! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HappyMaz Posted January 4, 2009 Share Posted January 4, 2009 Nicky - my heart goes out to you and your daughter. It is such a tricky time when puberty hits at the usual age but your daughter must be bewildered and confused by what is happening to her. I know a parent's place is generally in the wrong - but try and reassure yourself that you are by no means a useless parent. I think perhaps all the adults in your daughter's life need to get some advice about how best to support her and to understand that remarks such as those you describe are at best unhelpful and at worst detrimental to her self esteem and confidence. Have you done any research into precocious puberty - and would you be able to send a note to everyone explaining what is happening with your daughter's body and the effects this will have? A few short sentences about how you'd like them to back you up and help your daughter come to terms with the changes that are happening might help them see how thoughtless and ill-considered their remarks are - and will at least remove ignorance as an excuse for their rudeness. Can your doctor or health visitor put you in touch with any parents who have gone through the same thing and could offer support by telling you how they coped and what worked for them? I've done a quick online search but didn't turn up anything - but since this is becoming more and more common these days there must be advice out there. I'm sorry I can't help much - but hang on in there. We'll be thinking of you. Maz Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Beau Posted January 5, 2009 Share Posted January 5, 2009 The Body Book by Claire Reyner was the one I used with my older daughter. She is now 21 so it is pretty old but it explained everything in a very simple way. You can still get secondhand ones on Amazon fairly cheaply. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sue R Posted January 5, 2009 Share Posted January 5, 2009 You have my sympathies on all fronts with this one! Having been an 'early developer' myself, I really feel for your daughter (although not quite as young!) An ex-colleague had this with her daughter at the same age, I will try to get in touch to see if she did anything in particular. The child in question is now a confident, poised young lady of 19, so she must have got it right! My instinct would be to say continue your loving support and certainly point out how unhelpful the comments being made really are. Sue Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted January 7, 2009 Share Posted January 7, 2009 Hi there, I am now 52, well very nearly!! and started my periods at the ripe old age of 3 months before I was 10!!! Nightmare, my mum just got me the sani pads, you know the old doctor whites with the sanitary belt!! lol funny now but not at the time!! Felt like half a loaf of bread between my legs, got them realy heavy and used to pass out from the pain at that age so everyone seemed to know what was happening, or it seemed like it to me!! Bring your dirty ones down later when daddy isn't around and we will burn them on the fire!! Oh God!! So I feel for her, however all is so much easier on the sani pad front these days, believe me, I know, I am still flipping well wearing them with avengence at the moment, lets hope mine will at least one day come to an end!! I am sure you will get thru it, you are not a bad parent, its just all come a bit early!! My oldest was 12 and now my youngest is just 11 and showing all the signs, but we have her all prepared and sorted just in case!! Good luck and just go with the flow!! Chuck x Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cait Posted January 7, 2009 Share Posted January 7, 2009 go with the flow!! Chuck x Ha ha was that meant to be a pun!?! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted January 7, 2009 Share Posted January 7, 2009 Thank you all so much for your support and encouragement. Will look for soem of the book ideas at the wekend and then take things from there. She got a new pair of glasses on Friday and so that has diverted her attention for a few days. Any other ideas gratefully recieved Nicky Sussex Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.