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Toilet Advice Needed


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Just wondering if any of you have any ideas for a child who refuses to go to the toilet. Baically I have a little girl in my class who refuses to go to the toilet. Even if myself or my TA physically take her out to the toilet, she will sometimes pull down her knickers and sit on the toilet but she hasn't actually gone to the toilet. However the majority of the time she doesn't even go into the cubicle. She obviously needs to 'go' and spends a lot of time jigging around. It has got to the point where she just spends a lot of time screaming when we ask her to go to the toilet/take her out to the toilet. Even when we just leave her she is wandering around and sreaming and saying she wants to go home. She has been in full time since Monday, and so far has managed to 'hold' it in until home time on 2 days and has wet herself twice (in the middle of the classroom with no attempt to go to use the toilet). Today we actually let mum come in to she if she could get her to go to the toilet but she refused even for her. Speaking to mum this has been going on since she was at Preschool and she has always promised mum she would go to the toilet at 'big school'. Bribing with stickers etc just doesn't work!

I have no idea what to do and where to go with her. She obviously has some issue with toileting and I don't want to make matters worse. Equally I have to think of the rest of the class and if she continues to just wee all over the classroom it really is not nice for them! It's also taking up a lot of mine and my TA's time and the other 21 children don't get a look in!

 

Any ideas would be greatfully appreciated! Thanks. xx

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Hi

 

I understand that this must be difficult. I have had this happen when I used to work in the pre-school room at a nursery. It must be hard with the rest of the children to look after!

 

Have you asked the little girl why she doesnt like going to the toilet at school? I have found in the past that children are sometimes scared they will fall down the toilet or they find the toilets a scary place. Why not try encouraging the girl to make a picture that she could stick up in the toilet to make it a more friendly and familiar place for her to visit. Today some of my reception children told me they didn't like the toilets, and when I suggested that they could paint and draw some pictures for it they said this would make it better in there.

 

You could also make a book about the toilets using photographs of the different parts such as the entrance/toilet/sinks/hand drier and use this to talk about the whole process.

 

If her parent(s) have made a big deal about it and put alot of pressure on her this might be making the situation worse.

 

I am sure that the more she sees the other children going to the toilet, she will gain confidence in going.

 

Sorry, this probably isn't the best advice, but thought I would offer some ideas.

 

Hope it gets better for you!

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I have a similiar problem in Nursery at the moment. Luckily I was forewarned by his previous setting and found a very helpful book on Amazon, 'Toilet Training for Individuals with Autism or Other Developmental Issues' by Carol Stock Kranowitz and Maria Wheeler. One of the ideas we're using is small pictures of stick men by the toilet door, by the basin, by the cubicle and eventually sitting on the toilet. The idea is you build up child's confidence or comfortableness (it is American!) by using each picture card successfully before taking the next step. So far this has resulted in him entering the toilet area without fuss. Don't know if this is a bit long term for your situation, I remember hating using school loos because of the 'vastness' of them and lack of privacy. Could you put laminated pictures of a favourite character on cubicle doors to entice her in? Would she be happier to use loos when there's nobody else about? Good luck

Posy

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Hi

 

I had a similar situation with a child in pre-school, he had various issues with toileting in general! He didnt want to use the toilet or let anyone change his pull up. He was under the specialist at the time but eventually after talking to mum, I made him a personal sticker chart with pictures of toilets and loo paper etc (sounds awful but it was a comical chart), everytime he used the toilet, he would get a sticker (he loved cars, so we got him some car stickers). When mum came to collect him, she made a major fuss of him when he had a sticker on his chart, for him, it worked at treat. It was lovely to watch him progress to using the toilet unaided! But I appreciate that in a class room you have only 2 staff members, whereas in a pre-school setting there are more staff.

 

Does the child have issues at home with going to the toilet? Could she bring in her own 'toilet seat' (you know the one that sits on top of the loo??) I cant imagine how you cope with that and a class full of new starters!!

 

jx

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Thanks for the idaes guys. Too be honest I don't reckon stickers/charts will make a lot of difference for her. There are already pictures left up from some of my last year children! Mum says that she goes to the toilet fine at home. I think tomorrow I'm going to see what happens when neither me or my TA try taking her to the toilet. We may just end up with yet another wet patch! Nice!!

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We currently have a child that was displaying similar signs - we have mangaged to find out she is scared of the 'dryers', for the first few days she wouldn't use toilets, but slowly she will go with an adult... as long as no other children are there to start the dryers.. ... we are quite a sensistive bunch of adults, but I could easily see how this situation could become a long lasting issue if not handled senstivly at this stage.

 

xxx

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we had a child like that last term but lucky for us as a preschool the child was only there for the 2 1/2 hour session so we didnt make a fuss the child was able to hold themself all morning and we figured we would probably make the matter worse by forcing him to the toilet.

 

sorry I cannt help with any tips

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Mmmmm.... Embarrassing confession time!! I had a huge problem going to the toilet when I first started school and regularly wet myself because I didn't want to use the toilet. My first time using the toilet there were a few ants crawling about on the floor and I thought they would crawl on me when I was sitting on the loo. :(:o:(

 

Of course I didn't tell anyone that at the time, on no that would have been to easy!! xD

Toilets are frightening places for children, maybe you should spend some time in the toilet area doing non-toilet related things like washing hands after a craft activity with a small group of other children. Is it a child friendly area with pictures and posters ect up?

 

It is a very difficult one. Good luck!! :(

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Mmmmm.... Embarrassing confession time!! I had a huge problem going to the toilet when I first started school and regularly wet myself because I didn't want to use the toilet. My first time using the toilet there were a few ants crawling about on the floor and I thought they would crawl on me when I was sitting on the loo. :(:o:(

 

Of course I didn't tell anyone that at the time, on no that would have been to easy!! xD

Toilets are frightening places for children, maybe you should spend some time in the toilet area doing non-toilet related things like washing hands after a craft activity with a small group of other children. Is it a child friendly area with pictures and posters ect up?

 

It is a very difficult one. Good luck!! :(

 

I can still be like that now - I can go all day because I really don't like using any toilet other than my own. I can easy go 18 hours, but now 'force' myself to use toilets because I know it's not healthy and bad for me.

 

xx

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Hi,

O dear, poor u, poor child! We have had a couple of children who didn't want to use the loo at preschool, but were only open for the morning so not so long to hold it for and we're probably slightly more used to little accidents. It is a problem though and not really very healthy to be holding wee in. Seeing as she has only been with u all day since Monday I would give her a bit more time to settle in and get used to it.

Shared loo's are not nice places I don't think anyone likes to go really, are there any spiders in there? or anything like that making her scared? does it smell pongy? lol :D Is it cold? or does it echo or make strange sounds? Has she heard scarey stories about the loo's at school in the playground? such at rats, sharks, crocodiles, monsters in the pipes!!

I would repeat the recommendation to talk to her about what she likes/dosent like about going loo. Definately use pictures, make a toilet book showing each stage. Definately spend time in the loo doing no loo type things, such as decorating it with pictures, stickers, ask her and some friends to do a mini project on making the loo pretty enough for a princess etc.

take the pressure off her by not continually asking her to if she needs to go -just make sure she knows she can go whenever she wants and can take someone with her or not, whatever she prefers.

She will get over it and soon be going loo with everyone else.

good luck,

em x

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Hello

 

My only advice would be don't panic.. (difficult i know with wet patches).

 

However - my son is now 8 and still will not use the toilet at school. It's the first room he visits when we get home!!!

 

Could you play the whole toilet thing down - 1 member of staff be responsible for her and find an excuse to visit the toilet to wash hands or something and casually ask if she needs to try. If not don't go on with bribes just leave it.

 

just casual, relaxed and very softly. Perhaps the more you + mum try the more stubborn she becomes. Any thing is worth a try.

 

keep smiling .

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[

 

Just quickly as I should be on my way to work, we had a little boy last year who was very anxious about using our loos and I let him 'help' me to 'mop' them (obviously they had already been cleaned). It did help and he is ok now. (he was quite hysterical at times as he was obviously desperate to go) I think he thought they were 'smelly' etc so it gave him a bit of control over them.

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[

 

Just quickly as I should be on my way to work, we had a little boy last year who was very anxious about using our loos and I let him 'help' me to 'mop' them (obviously they had already been cleaned). It did help and he is ok now. (he was quite hysterical at times as he was obviously desperate to go) I think he thought they were 'smelly' etc so it gave him a bit of control over them.

 

should also add that we let the reception children use the nursery loos if they are out playing in the shared area (if they need extra support), instead of trolling down the corridor through the bigger children coming out of their classes.

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I can still be like that now - I can go all day because I really don't like using any toilet other than my own. I can easy go 18 hours, but now 'force' myself to use toilets because I know it's not healthy and bad for me.

 

xx

Ooooo, me too!! Glad its not just me!! :o

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Thanks for the ideas everyone!

 

Didn't even discuss toilets today with her and she had a really enjoyable day. She drunk lots and I think at the end of the day was quiet desperate. But no puddles either, so that was good! She was also asking all the children which of them had gone to the toilet a lunchtime. So who knows.

 

I think on Monday we will put up some new pictures and posters and things and make it all lovely!

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Oh dear, your litle girl could have come from our setting last term! Even after 2 years with us we had one that just refused to use the tolet. Tool a long time to realsie what was happening as she was in nappies for first year she was with us (didn't come out of thm until she was nearly 4) and as we are open for 3 hours she managed to hold it, never had an accident but after discussions with Mum, when child had screaming fits over us asking her if she wanted tolet. Mum eventually admitted that daughter was still using potty at home as she was frigtened of sitting on toilet and had never used a toilet outside of home.

Really not sure what is happening to her now at school

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  • 4 months later...

Dont know whether anyone has already put this as I havent read all of the replies, but my daughter was scared to use the toilet at playgroup. It took a very long time to work out that she was scared of the green loo cleaning block at the bottom of the bowl.

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Hello

 

My only advice would be don't panic.. (difficult i know with wet patches).

 

However - my son is now 8 and still will not use the toilet at school. It's the first room he visits when we get home!!!

 

Could you play the whole toilet thing down - 1 member of staff be responsible for her and find an excuse to visit the toilet to wash hands or something and casually ask if she needs to try. If not don't go on with bribes just leave it.

 

just casual, relaxed and very softly. Perhaps the more you + mum try the more stubborn she becomes. Any thing is worth a try.

 

keep smiling .

 

 

I know exactly where you are coming from with this. My son is 6 and will not go in school. Obviously when we get home, he rushes up the stairs. He refuses to go in other peoples houses as well, but will use public toilets no problem at all.

 

Just thinking that if this little girl is anything like my son, then even asking if she needs the toilet is one question too many for her liking.

 

Just wondering if it would help letting her go in with her friends. My sons teachers made a little thing of letting a group of the boys go to the toilet at a time, not daily but maybe before they go for a walk or to an event. From she has started doing this, he quite happily goes in them now. He only washes his hands, but its a start.

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