Settling in Policy

[Poppy33]

Hi,

how long do you expect parents to stay when their child starts new at your setting. And do you charge parents for the settling in period? I believe it will take children a while to build a relationship with their keyperson, so we have asked in our settling in policy that parents (or other known carers) should be available for at least the first week (or longer if the child needs it). However some parents are not happy about this, they have booked their child's first session the day they are returning to work,and expect to just leave their child with us. Now I do understand parents have to go to work and can't afford to take lots of time off, but we need to consider the needs of the child too. I would never expect a child to be left with a stranger. We take children from 2 years old, which is often a tricky time for separation anyway.

Things are slightly more complicated, because we are a new setting and therefore have lots of families (40) starting at the same time. One parent has asked me to amend their invoice, as she feel she should not be paying for her child's first session, as this is 'just a settling in session'. But I will still have to pay the staff. She has also just told me that she is going to leave the child at the second session, as she has to go to work, saying 'let's hope he'll bond quickly.

Sorry for the long message, I just felt so disheartened today by that message. And we haven't even opened yet!

[Mouseketeer]

Hi poppy33, firstly good luck with your new setting and secondly start as you mean to go on and don’t let the parents call the shots, we don’t offer settling in sessions without the parent/carer, we invite them to visit a couple of times in the run up half term (but they stay), we try to have allocated a key person by then so that member of staff can begin to form a relationship with child and parent, I tell them they are welcome to stay as long as they like....I sometimes regret that after 4hrs and the child's totally wrecked the place and the parent hasn’t said a word to them or us :-/ but usually it’s more a “let me out now” 30 mins or so.

I wouldn’t be offering ‘free’ settling in sessions if they are in your care......tell her she wouldn’t go to a new hairdresser and say “as it’s my first time i’ll have my colour, cut and blow dry for free” ....though maybe not if you want to keep her ;-p 

[finleysmaid]

Hi Poppy33 and welcome from me. One thing I learnt very early on was that you can't please all of the people all of the time. You have to set your own rules (backed up with evidence preferably) and stick to it. Many parents have been to childminders or full day care before they get to us and we just don't have that flexibility....if they want my setting then they have to follow my policies .We charge for settling in but as I do a staggered start most children settle within a  very short time. I'm assuming you aren't going to have all 40 starting on one day???? if so I would definitely expect parents to be available for at least a week!

Good luck!

[AliceinWonderland]

Good luck Poppy. We are full day care, open 8-6 all year round and offer 1 hour settling in sessions where the parent can stay or leave, it's up to them, we usually have about 2 of these but they can have more if they want, these are offered free and are held in the couple of weeks before the child starts. As you are not open yet then this wouldn't be possible for you but maybe something to consider after a while. For the queries from this particular parent, you need to stand your ground, don't let them dictate to you. If it's the one piece of advice I can give to someone, it  would be to stick to your rules with parents (and staff), otherwise they will take advantage and it's very difficult to claw your way back. I found out the hard way as i'm a big softy!

[Poppy33]

15 hours ago, Mouseketeer said:

 

I wouldn’t be offering ‘free’ settling in sessions if they are in your care......tell her she wouldn’t go to a new hairdresser and say “as it’s my first time i’ll have my colour, cut and blow dry for free” ....though maybe not if you want to keep her ;-p 

lol!

[Poppy33]

Thank you all for your replies. It's my first time as a manager and there's so much to learn! I am definitely a big softie and just want everyone to be happy, I know I will have to learn to be a bit more assertive. If we were already running, I would let them have a couple of free settling in sessions, as there would only be a couple of children, but yes we do have 40 starting (staggered over a couple of weeks), so can't afford to let her have her first session free, as that would not be fair to the other parents.

I realise now that I need to be a lot clearer from the start, before they even sign the contract, of what we expect with regards to settling in.

Thanks again, I am very grateful to have this supportive community. No doubt I will be back here a lot!

Poppy x

[FSFRebecca]

Hi Poppy33,

Settling is one of my bugbears and when we started (15 years ago) I had to remind parents that it's not about them, it's about the child. Now we have a reputation for extended settling and it does work out in the long run. So, about a month before they are due to start we ask the parents to bring their child for 2 or 3 'stay and play' 1/2 hours at the times and days that they are planning to attend when they start (so they get to know the routines, staff and other children who also attend on that day). We tell the parent that the point at which the child leaves their side and goes to play in a different place in the room is the time when the parent can leave the room. We then ask for the parent to attend with the child but to leave them with their key person and not to go in the room (that gives us time to practise the hellos and goodbyes). Once the child can manage this well we have a one hour session and we allow the parent to leave the site. Assuming this all goes well, the child can start. We don't charge for any of our settling sessions. We allow a month and some parents end up coming almost every day. Other children settle almost instantly and we then ask them just to pop in a couple of times before they start for an hour 'stay and play' just to keep them familiar with the nursery.

[Poppy33]

Hi Rebecca,

your settling in sounds lovely. Once we are up and running I would like to do sth similar. BTW I phoned the mum and we agreed on a settling in plan - so all is good, she was just anxious as she has to go back to work soon.

 

[finleysmaid]

If you can get on some Penny Tassoni training she has some excellent observations about settling children and especially 2 year olds. We changed the way we did things after speaking to her a few years ago. You have to find the right path for you and the children and there is always a cost element involved too ,,,we don't do home visits for instance because of the cost...but we do do a staggered start which obviously costs money too  but on balance for us works better, especially as we have lots of parents who do not speak English as their first language and so sometimes require extra time

[Stargrower]

We work in a very similar way to Rebecca for settling-in.  We really try to get to know the child and build the key person relationship during these early sessions.  We always plan ahead and book settling-in sessions in advance.  We have an open ended settling in period and it takes as long as it takes, although we do sometimes get to the point where we have to remind the parent that he/she should try to leave otherwise the child will think the parent always stays!  We don't charge for settling in, only when the child starts attending by themselves.

[Poppy33]

Thanks finleysmaid and Stargrower,

if we were already open, that's what I would do. But because we're a new setting, it's a bit trickier. We did have 3 Open days already, so all the children have been to the setting, though we hadn't appointed their key persons until recently. Have spent all day doing home visits, what a lovely day I've had. I really do enjoy seeing children in their 'natural habitat' .