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supporting a child who has lost a sibling


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Morning,

I'm so sorry you have found yourself in this situation - what a devastating thing for all involved to have to endure. All love and thoughts from FSF HQ are coming your way and to the family involved.I know that Winston's Wish provide amazing support for children, perhaps they would be a good starting point.

Make sure you and your staff take time to talk, you can't be strong for everyone if you aren't strong for yourselves

 

Keep in touch, all love

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You may find useful some of the stories to support children with bereavement- on our bookshelf here

Have you had any time at all to talk to the parents to see how they would like you to support their child, and if they have any particular views; religious, spiritual, etc?

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Work with what the parents are telling the child so that they are not being told two different things. When we experienced this we were honest with the child, helping them to understand that it is sad and that family around them will be sad but that they are still loved. Also most importantly give them as many cuddles and as much love and affection as they need. Good luck.

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Thank you all x I have had a brief chat with mum but as you can imagine its all too raw and she is being supported by her family to care for the child I am supporting. Currently he is doing really well so I was able to reassure mum. I will research Winstons wish.

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Have had this happen, and we knew the family and children quite well, so was hard on all..

 

Best is to ask the parents and work with them. It is difficult but we kept the setting as normal as possible, no changes and no asking questions , if discussing with mum then not in child's hearing, Let the child have the one place that is stable. If they talk to someone about it then is the time to give honest answers, ideally same as parent has given. Home will be unsettling and different and it is often comforting to have somewhere that has not changed .

 

We found the child needed reassurance that nothing was changing at the setting and they did eventually tell us about it not wanting anything but someone to listen to how thy felt.

 

It helped a lot that we knew them well, so mum was willing to ask us for help and support, that was a bit less emotional than family and friends were being.. but everyone reacts differently. Mum needed more support than the child.

 

Telling other parents was one of their worries as they had seen the younger sibling and knew her , we asked parents if they would like us to tell them , an offer they were very happy to take up. They also asked to avoid people for a few days so they came to a different door to drop off or one of us collected from the car park, until they were ready to speak to other parents.

 

it was difficult for all, and the staff needed time to talk and support each other .

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