Guest Posted February 25, 2013 Share Posted February 25, 2013 Cait beat me to it....could be an excellent way to get her to be a little more punctual!! Certainly wouldn't be contacting the other setting, but would def highlight the situation to SIP I agree that separate meetings etc for absent parents but can't help also considering the amount of time (and printing ink for duplicate LJ's/photos!) it would take - we have a lot of one parent families. We try to encourage the thought that nursery is neutral ground for the child, away from conflict and, touch wood, it works...so far! For the LJ we say it's the child's to share with the family - and unfortunately the parent with custody is in 'control' where that's concerned - Can't abide parents who use their child as a 'weapon' against the other! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sunnyday Posted February 25, 2013 Author Share Posted February 25, 2013 Thanks gingerbreadman! :1b Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Devondaisy Posted February 25, 2013 Share Posted February 25, 2013 Where we have parents who are seperated we always (where possible) involve both parents. We offer seperate meetings to discuss progress but there is only one LJ so these need to be at different times so both get a good chance to have a look at the folder. I would always also try to work with other settings, despite any differing work ethics, as working together can only benefit the child. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sunnyday Posted February 25, 2013 Author Share Posted February 25, 2013 Where we have parents who are seperated we always (where possible) involve both parents. We offer seperate meetings to discuss progress but there is only one LJ so these need to be at different times so both get a good chance to have a look at the folder. I would always also try to work with other settings, despite any differing work ethics, as working together can only benefit the child. Thanks Devondaisy - I do have a 'fairly good' working relationship with the other setting - I always share info for example - what I don't want to do really is get into any dialogue with them which would in anyway imply that I don't 'approve' of their policies and/or procedures.........what they choose to do is their business.......... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Upsy Daisy Posted February 25, 2013 Share Posted February 25, 2013 This isn't a pleasant one to have to deal with. I was informed by an Ofsted inspector that if the contract states that someone has parental responsibility I would be breaking the law by preventing them from taking the child. The only exception to this would be if I had a court order stating specific contact arrangements which didn't include them picking the child up from me. If this parent turned up asking for the child I should ask them to wait outside, call the police and the other parent and let them sort it out. I hope you are never put in this position, Sunnyday. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sunnyday Posted February 25, 2013 Author Share Posted February 25, 2013 Thank you very much Upsy! I have explained to this mum that I would need to have a copy of a court order.........that said, I would do exactly would you have suggested........I too hope that it doesn't ever come to that....... 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted February 25, 2013 Share Posted February 25, 2013 Its like playng one parent against another.... Work with the other setting, not just about this issue, their policies or how they work with the parent but just because its good practice to have a joined up way of working with settings that your children access. You may be amazed at what may come out of the wood work.... Also, if their practice raises some eyebrows maybe linking up with your setting may provide an opportunity for professional conversations and sharing good practice to take place......? :huh: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sunnyday Posted February 26, 2013 Author Share Posted February 26, 2013 Thanks Alabaloo I feel the need to 'defend' myself :blink: I have 'reached out' to this setting many, many times over the years........with very little success..........unfortunately they seem to regard 'me' as a 'rival' or 'the competition' - that's so sad and quite unnecessary..........and certainly not how I view them at all.... I have reached a decision! :1b I will keep my 'thoughts' to myself, I will not contact them with regard to this issue......nor will I speak to my SIP with regards to their practise....... Instead - I will continue to support this child and her family to the best of my ability and I will continue to enjoy my lovely setting and always seek to improve my own practice! :1b 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
louby loo Posted February 26, 2013 Share Posted February 26, 2013 I have 'reached out' to this setting many, many times over the years........with very little success..........unfortunately they seem to regard 'me' as a 'rival' or 'the competition' - that's so sad and quite unnecessary..........and certainly not how I view them at all.... Ohww I've got one of them - does me ble***n 'ead in!!!! The way I see it is - we should compliment each other.. :1b Hope you manage to get this issue sorted. We're not paid anywhere near enough for all this aggro :( 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted February 26, 2013 Share Posted February 26, 2013 Thanks Alabaloo I feel the need to 'defend' myself :blink: I have 'reached out' to this setting many, many times over the years........with very little success..........unfortunately they seem to regard 'me' as a 'rival' or 'the competition' - that's so sad and quite unnecessary..........and certainly not how I view them at all.... I have reached a decision! :1b I will keep my 'thoughts' to myself, I will not contact them with regard to this issue......nor will I speak to my SIP with regards to their practise....... Instead - I will continue to support this child and her family to the best of my ability and I will continue to enjoy my lovely setting and always seek to improve my own practice! :1b Oh Sunnyday I hope you are not defending yourself because I made you feel like you had the need to as this was not my intention! I am sorry If I made you feel this way. My line of though came from this and from my own role - http://www.nurseryworld.co.uk/news/1172172/Exclusive-Why-I-believe-need-raise-qualifications/?DCMP=ILC-SEARCH - All early years providers, including childminders, need access to the leadership, expert support and professional development that can be provided through effective networks. ..........we are committed to consulting on the new inspection framework which could effectively hold this new model of working in early years to account It is clear that your professional approach to working with this setting has been batted back and a clear indication that its a setting that still hasnt moved forward in its capacity to put the needs of the child first before all else by drawing on peer support. Which clearly shows that they could do with someone as experienced and as knowledgeable as yourself but unfortunately this is not going to happen and much to their detriment - their loss really (not if OFSTED decide to make it a requirement then they wont have a leg to stand on.....)! The decision you have decided to take is what I would do myself because at the end of the day there is only so much one can do when it comes to multiagencyy working. You have this child's best interest at heart and you are placing her needs at the centre of your decision making, what a lucky family to have you - if only the mother could see how good she actually has it by being in with professional people like yourself. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sunnyday Posted February 26, 2013 Author Share Posted February 26, 2013 :wub: :wub: :wub: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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