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Help! How To Talk To Parents When You Think Their Child Needs Extr


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Hi everyone,

 

I wonder if you can help me. I have a little boy started who was 3 in August. I am concerned he could be dyspraxia, he is unco-ordinated (he runs on tiptoes, with his wrist bent and hands outwards and he can't seem to control his movements well and ends up just running straight into the other children) he has no real concept of personal space, he's all over the other children and hits the children for no reason. He has very limited concentration yet he can identify some letters (not phonics, as he has been taught this at home). He loves scissors but I have another child having nightmares because when this boy has a pair of scissors he's all over the place! He is very excitable and cuddly and loves my attention. All the children have learnt his name in a week, but not for the right reason! He is adorable but my concern is the other children are becoming wary of him and I want to know how to help him.

 

I spoke to mum today, I mentioned the unprovoked attacks on others (not in those words) and that his coordination doesn't seem a fluid as I would hope. Mum said he sometimes hits his 9m sister but she thought it was jealousy. She was surprised when I mentioned the co-ordination.

 

It's obviously really hard making these assumptions, and I can only go on my experience, and after seeing hundreds of children in my professional career, I just have a 'feeling'. I have explained that he may settle as the weeks go on and he is very young still. His speech is very clear too.

 

I will give my early years team a call, but does anyone have any good advice about how to deal and speak to parents when you think their child might need some exta support?

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How long has he been with you? It may be that you need to develop a relationship with his parents first. We are in a similar position as you and our area senco has advised us to do lots of observations over 3 weeks to clearly identify the child's development levels, then arrange a meeting with her parents.

 

Good luck :1b

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Thanks that's helpful. We do 1 intake every September and the same children attend every morning. A bit like a reception class. So the whole class only started last week. So I don't know mum that well. We have obviously had taster sessions, park meet ups in the summer holidays and home visits, but on his first day with us he was noticeably different. I will do some observations on him and keep up the communication/relationship with mum in the mean time. Thanks for the advice.

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Yes we are the same with some of our new ones. After 25 years the only advice I can give is Paperwork to back what you are saying. See if there is a check list (for want of a better word) that you can work through. You can often find them on websites that are for Associations of Dyspraxia etc. if not there are some good books from libraries that will give you an idea of what to look for. When you have the information you can then have something concrete to show mum and LA senco.

Just be nice and understanding and put yourself in the position of being that parent and think how you would be liked to be told. Always finish with a positive that you can help and be there for them.

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Quite strange reading this as we have a new child who also seems to have some sort of problem! After lots of SEN experience I am usually quite good at working it out, but not this time! Plan to do some obs and also Speech assessment to see if that helps. He also goes to another setting ( a pre school) 1 day a week so hope to get permission to share info and see what they know as he's been there a while!

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good advice, to record, observe and have paperwork to back up your thoughts,,

 

I always used the positive sandwich when talking to parents about something like this.. start with a positive, then pass on you worries and concerns, ending with another positive comment...

 

works in many walks of life when dealing with difficult situations.. taught my hubby the trick when he was having problems at work.. and it really helped him, dealing with a customer... he also uses it on his bosses, who have not yet worked it out .. he manages the managers very well with it!

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