waveawand Posted September 14, 2011 Share Posted September 14, 2011 (edited) Hiya tis me again ! Well things have improved greatly re settling into my setting and that of the nursery too. Despite the initial upset we are down to a minute crying on leaving parents arms. Which is terrific. Lo has enjoyed getting to know my kids and plays quite happily. Ive asked at the nursery questions re keyworker; routine; topics and have been given a newsletter for the room he is in. Having looked at his file for the new room though there only seems to be one ob from yesterday ( and carrying on too from playing with lego trains at my house with my son) "Jenny my train is going to Sthport ". Despite having been in that room for several visits during the hols full days and being full time with them since last Monday - which I think ( yep my opinion I know) at bit odd. they are prepping them for school despite the age group being 30mths ( two mini registrations a day ?) Also I find this strange too but dont know how nurserys work..... There are at least 12 kids in what Ive already described as a very small room. Now I am due next week to sit down with the parents re contract. ( my settling in period is 3 - 4wks) I have a full time place and would prefer that he comes to me at least for some of the week. Or maybe even do half days. How do I put this to the parents because although I dont want to give an ultimatum, what happens when someone else comes along to me wanting FT ?Short of giving them notice ? Im quite confident that I can do better for the child but how do I approach this with them without an upset? They were meant to be moving him to preschool because the mum wants him to get a space in local school but none of the nurserys or preschools open before 08.00am. If I do tell them that I cant do it anymore the will have to find another cm which I know will be difficult because of her initial panic in the summer hols. I dont want to force a decision because I dont work like that and it would affect our relationship. Also at present I send a photo and little update each day. There is no time in the morning so I dont really see them for a chat. Was thinking of getting them around on Saturday maybe to find out how they think things are going etc. I do like the parents/ am attached to the child but wonder whether I should just ignore it all and take the money. This I find difficult because I dont understand why given the choice a parent wouldnt choose one to one focussed care? So over to you for your comments and some tactful wording for my meet if you please !! thanks in advance. Edited September 14, 2011 by waveawand Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted September 14, 2011 Share Posted September 14, 2011 You should explain to the parent that they won't necessarily get a place in school just because their child attends the attached Pre School. There are many benefits being in a childminders home. If you have the child full time or a reasonable number of hours you can liase with schools and interact with some of the nursery provisions on occasions so that the child gets to meet a wider variety of children. Hiya tis me again ! Well things have improved greatly re settling into my setting and that of the nursery too. Despite the initial upset we are down to a minute crying on leaving parents arms. Which is terrific. Lo has enjoyed getting to know my kids and plays quite happily.Ive asked at the nursery questions re keyworker; routine; topics and have been given a newsletter for the room he is in. Having looked at his file for the new room though there only seems to be one ob from yesterday ( and carrying on too from playing with lego trains at my house with my son) "Jenny my train is going to Sthport ". Despite having been in that room for several visits during the hols full days and being full time with them since last Monday - which I think ( yep my opinion I know) at bit odd. they are prepping them for school despite the age group being 30mths ( two mini registrations a day ?) Also I find this strange too but dont know how nurserys work..... There are at least 12 kids in what Ive already described as a very small room. Now I am due next week to sit down with the parents re contract. ( my settling in period is 3 - 4wks) I have a full time place and would prefer that he comes to me at least for some of the week. Or maybe even do half days. How do I put this to the parents because although I dont want to give an ultimatum, what happens when someone else comes along to me wanting FT ?Short of giving them notice ? Im quite confident that I can do better for the child but how do I approach this with them without an upset? They were meant to be moving him to preschool because the mum wants him to get a space in local school but none of the nurserys or preschools open before 08.00am. If I do tell them that I cant do it anymore the will have to find another cm which I know will be difficult because of her initial panic in the summer hols. I dont want to force a decision because I dont work like that and it would affect our relationship. Also at present I send a photo and little update each day. There is no time in the morning so I dont really see them for a chat. Was thinking of getting them around on Saturday maybe to find out how they think things are going etc. I do like the parents/ am attached to the child but wonder whether I should just ignore it all and take the money. This I find difficult because I dont understand why given the choice a parent wouldnt choose one to one focussed care? So over to you for your comments and some tactful wording for my meet if you please !! thanks in advance. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Panders Posted September 14, 2011 Share Posted September 14, 2011 (edited) I suppose you need to find out from the parents what their expectations from the nursery are, and why they chose it in the first place. Then you can pitch how you would be able to look after their child if you had him full time - how does it work out when they have holidays, as teachers they will have reasonable breaks - do they have to pay a retainer fee to the nursery or even full fees, but with you that would be different - could that be a unique selling point of your provision. How about the flexibility of the nursery with pick up time - could you be more flexible over timings especially as you say they both work at the same school, presumably if one is held back late, so would the other simply because they travel together. Show them how you keep your learning journey as opposed to the nursery and how much more detailed you can be and attend to their child's needs better and more quickly. If it is the social side of the nursery they think they prefer, you could point out all the social occasions you would be taking their child to and if they wanted him to go to specialist classes like Tumble Tots, or singing groups you could do that for them, where as at nursery that probably would be the case. I'm sure they would really choose you over a nursery if you can lay your cards out like for like with the nursery they have chosen, it's not to say that their choice of nursery has been wrong in the first place, they will obviously have thought long and hard about that and be fiercely protective of their decision, but once they can see the benefits of a childminder, they could change their minds. I do feel you should at the end of your discussion you have the right to say, financially if a full time prospective family come along you would have to re-think the situation - you are afterall in business and whilst we get attached to our mindees, head needs to rule heart in business, you are doing it to help your own family's finances in the first place. Edited September 14, 2011 by Panders Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
waveawand Posted September 14, 2011 Author Share Posted September 14, 2011 Thanks Panders - thats given me a good few suggestions. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Panders Posted September 14, 2011 Share Posted September 14, 2011 Thanks Panders - thats given me a good few suggestions. 2 I don't know about that! I'm sure you have a lot of experience at putting together your "pitch" to prospective parents about your service. Just feel they need to be persuaded that your service will be bespoke to their child and flexible to their needs too, but if they want things to remain as they are they have to accept that businesswise for you it's not so great and that they may well need to find other means of getting their LO to nursery Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
waveawand Posted September 14, 2011 Author Share Posted September 14, 2011 2 I don't know about that! I'm sure you have a lot of experience at putting together your "pitch" to prospective parents about your service. Just feel they need to be persuaded that your service will be bespoke to their child and flexible to their needs too, but if they want things to remain as they are they have to accept that businesswise for you it's not so great and that they may well need to find other means of getting their LO to nursery yep I know I just wish Id thought of it before I started the job if you get my drift. They wouldve Im sure been very different to deal with. Its putting what I feel is best practice withoutslagging off the nursery - Just the ratio would put me off 1:4 and 12 kids (16 in total in that space !!!) will keep you posted as to outcome. thanks again Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mundia Posted September 14, 2011 Share Posted September 14, 2011 Hi waveawand, Ive read this and your other thread, and its obvious that you want to do best for this family as well as considering your own family needs and circumstances. My query is that if the child continues on as now or even if they come to you for a full day or so, you will still have the same quandry over if a full time child comes to you. what would you do then, if you 'persuade' this family to use you for more hours but then a full time request comes along. Would you still give them notice? What about any other family wanting say 2 days...would you also give them notice if a full time place came along? Looking at it from the parent's point of view, if I was concerned that my child might lose their place with you anyway, then I definitely wouldn't want to take him from his nursery place, and risk losing that. I would want to keep the 'safe' place at all costs. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
waveawand Posted September 15, 2011 Author Share Posted September 15, 2011 Hi waveawand, Ive read this and your other thread, and its obvious that you want to do best for this family as well as considering your own family needs and circumstances. My query is that if the child continues on as now or even if they come to you for a full day or so, you will still have the same quandry over if a full time child comes to you. what would you do then, if you 'persuade' this family to use you for more hours but then a full time request comes along. Would you still give them notice? What about any other family wanting say 2 days...would you also give them notice if a full time place came along? Looking at it from the parent's point of view, if I was concerned that my child might lose their place with you anyway, then I definitely wouldn't want to take him from his nursery place, and risk losing that. I would want to keep the 'safe' place at all costs. The trouble is Mundia - I do tend to try and accommodate everyone that comes along. Especially when no one else will touch it. Im feeling more like a taxi service than a cm and to add insult to injury this AM they turned up at 07.10 saying " oh yes we are doing a car share now so this will be the time we arrive ". No text the previous evening to let me know their plans. yep I know I can sort this out at the meet on Sat. Lo had pull ups on despite being successfully toilet trained by the nursery last week. No dummy which is his "comfort" item for this double transition. I texted the mum re dummy to be told it must be at home - he can manage without. Yes Iknow they are obviously rushing but it seems Im giving more thought to this lo than they are. I need the cash but still not 100% happy and wondering what if any is their adversion to moving him to me? . I need a Business head rather than emotional one I know but this is me all over. Im always totally child focussed and lo is settling so well. Will need to tell them this although, if that is all they require of me (taxi) should I bother with the updates daily or otherwise ? Maybe actually I should just get them to get the nursery to open half hour earlier and they would then be happy ( god im getting really narked about it now) Today lo went straight to keyworker to be picked up. yest he stuck by me for a while before staff member came up to pick him up. They are okay albeit young and inexperienced. its cos I would never do what they(parents) are doing given a choice. Sort of hoping to have a call so I can ligitimately say "sorry cant do it anymore ".... This has turned into a bit of a rant now... will sign off and try to think logically... By contrast by the way today have taken my mindee and son to softplay - sun is out so after we have been on a nature trail. This I thought is what it is about and would want for the lo. and why I do the job. Maybe my answer is just that.....x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
waveawand Posted September 15, 2011 Author Share Posted September 15, 2011 Well thats that ! After speaking to a friend whom knows the charges of nurserys etc. I upped my before 08.00am fee. By text but heh at least I was letting them know and reason why. Silence and then a phone call to say they couldnt afford that, thanks alot but " my sister is going to help us out " . So another one bites the dust. Oh and also they were rather miffed that I was charging them from 7am rather than 7.20 as that was when they dropped him off!!!!! - should have seen this one coming for sure. Relieved oh yes completely but do feel sorry for lo. poor mite. thanks for being there for me ladies Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Panders Posted September 15, 2011 Share Posted September 15, 2011 Waveawand,I'm appalled at the way this has played out. You obviously got under their skin, maybe it is just as well the sister is stepping into help. Shame for the LO but hey you did your best for him while you had him. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted September 15, 2011 Share Posted September 15, 2011 Oh Waveawand Another one for your own personal Learning Journey... you really couldn't make these situations up!!!!! Perhaps you're getting all your weird/stressful/out of the ordinary clients at the start of your Childminding career so you'll really appreciate the good ones when they come along?! Take care Nona x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
waveawand Posted September 16, 2011 Author Share Posted September 16, 2011 thanks your right - you really couldnt make it up. Feeling rather down today but have had a lie in till 7.15, cuddled my lo till 7.30 whilst dunking biscuits in tea and had a leisurely breakfast before mindees arrived at 08.15! now to get out and go for a jog !! to clear the remaining negative thoughts..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HoneyPancakes Posted September 16, 2011 Share Posted September 16, 2011 In my experience it's the families you do the most running around and sweating about that don't work out. Sometimes they turn a corner but once the water is muddied it takes a long time to clear. I have a messy situation at the moment so I'm preparing for the worst without getting too defensive. You win some you lose some. How many other clichés can I drag out? There will others. Go out and get'em. Good luck, Honey Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
waveawand Posted September 16, 2011 Author Share Posted September 16, 2011 thanks Honey - hope your situation works out better than mine. its the lack of respect and inability on their part to communicate that gets me most. thanks again and best wishes Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted September 16, 2011 Share Posted September 16, 2011 In my experience it's the families you do the most running around and sweating about that don't work out. Sometimes they turn a corner but once the water is muddied it takes a long time to clear. Sadly, I think you're right... the more you do, the more they expect The downside of childminding is that the muddy water is in your own home and you can't walk away from it at the end of the working day. I'd be willing to bet that there isn't a childminder on here that hasn't had an issue with a parent at some time and, hard as it is at the time, you learn from it, put it behind you and swear not to get caught out again.... However, you'll still carry on caring (in every sense of the word) for the children and getting involved with the families and that's what makes childminders the choice of parents who want a home/family environment for their children. Keep smiling ladies, the lovely families are the majority (in my 14 years experience) Including the ones that brought me flowers today Nona Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
waveawand Posted September 17, 2011 Author Share Posted September 17, 2011 Ooh how lovely Nona ! jealous moi ?! you bet ya !! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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