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Ok here goes; I have been somewhat unhappy in my current position for some time now; my new boss I feel is trying to make life difficult enough for me to leave (her favourite expression is "manage them out"). This came to a head 2 weeks ago when I was accused of not doing things, which I either had done, or had no idea I had to do. I was then, in the same week accused of something else which turned out to be a complete lie. It all got too much for me, I decided I needed time off to re-charge my batteries so I was signed off for 2 weeks and also prescribed mild anti-depressants. I am waiting for an appointment to see my union rep as I am thinking bullying and constructive dismissal.


A few months ago I was offered an interview for another position, more money, less hours,more holiday, less staff and children. However I love the nursery I manage at present and I do feel that the group is going places, so after a setting visit to the new prospective job, I decided not to take it further and not go for interview; I did tell the new nursery and was very complimentary about them as it was a lovely nursery.


Now the position has come up again as clearly they didnt find the right person for the job. In view of latest developments (lies, off sick, anti-depressants) I am wondering whether to apply for it again.


One of my concerns is I currently work for a chain and have the security of having the correct people behind me (HR, Health and Safety, Finance etc), this new one is independent and committee run, though they assure me they are sustainable with a very healthy waiting list; I don't have a partner and I live with my 2 grown up children so it's down to me to keep a roof over our heads (they do pay rent), though I am very well qualified should it all go bottoms up so to speak!!


I guess I just want some objective, unattached and unemotional advice please! What are your thoughts, what would you do?


Of course the nursery might not even entertain me seeing as I pulled out last time!!!

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You sound unhappy and the atmosphere where you are at the momnet does not sound condusive to a happy working life. I'd go for it! You may not get it, but you won't know if you don't try.

Good luck! :o

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I agree: you have nothing to lose if you apply. When you're offered the job, THAT'S when you need to have another think!


I wouldn't worry about what the new nursery might think about you withdrawing your initial application. They may well see your new application as a result of some very careful thought and regret at not pursuing the initial application. If I were them, I'd take that as a compliment, particularly as you were so positive about the nursery.


Going back to your current position you are the manager......what role does your boss play? is she there daily, or just pops in to upset the applecart? A thoroughly disagreeable mantra to have, I have to say. It might still be beneficial to you to see your Union rep and talk through things as they are. If you can, it would also be a good idea to ask for some time with your boss to air your views. I'd record everything, taking notes during the meeting, and have some bullet points of what you want to raise. This shows her you are not a walkover and that you take your job seriously. This may well alert her to the fact that her methods are not ethical.

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It is so hard to give advice in situations like these. However.


Sometimes when we look back over our lives we regret the opportunities we didn't take rather than the times when we tried something, gave it our all but had to face the fact that it just didn't work out.


Ask yourself some key questions.


1. Looking at the grief you are experiencing at the moment and do you believe the situation can be resolved?


2. If so can it be resolved with your own sense of self-worth intact and with complete lack of resentment or ill-feeling towards your management team on your part?


3. Does the new job opportunity offer you real opportunities to grow and develop, or is it just a case of the grass looking greener on the other side of the fence?


My fears for you in your current position is that if this person really does want you out of a job (and the phrase "manage them out" sent a real chill down my spine) then things may get very uncomfortable for you indeed. Is it really worth the stress and the resulting deterioriation in your physical and emotional health? If not, you might be better off exploring any opportunity that comes your way, all the while making sure you document absolutely everything so that you can demonstrate what you're being put through.


Good luck! Here's hoping for happier times soon!

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What super advice for a Sunday morning!


I would go ahead and apply for the other job, nothing to lose and it buys you further time t make your decision.

The question Id be asking is what really made you decide not to go for it last time? Have things deteriorated further since then? You were obviously considering a move when you first applied, ad if things havent changed, or have got worse since then, then ask yourself what really keeps you there? Your health and state of mind is is important, and if you think a move is what you need, then go for it.

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Wonderful advice from you all, as always! I do so love this site!!


I think I will apply again; as you say I have nothing to lose and maybe everything to gain; especially my health and sanity!!


I also think that my situation at work will not get any better so the time to move on is definitely now.


Thank you all so much; I will let you know what happens :o

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Some excellent, well considered advice already. I think you should go for it, dip your toe in the water, find out a little more. The grass is not always greener on the other side, a committee run setting would I imagine be very different in many respects, both negative and positive, but you do not sound happy in your present setting.


Good luck, let us know how you get on.

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Is there any chance you can find out a little more about them? For instance how does their committee function and what percentage of the work is completed by them/manager?


I'm sure that you will come to a decision that suits your needs wants and wishes.


It is also easy to join Unison or a similar union to get some support when in a committee led setting,

good luck,


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It sounds as if you've already made your decision!?


I'd say re-apply for the new job and see what happens.


Applying, and indeed taking the job (if you're succesful) doesn't stop you from seeking advice from your union re bullying and constructive dismissal against your current employer.


In a previous life (when I worked in a bank) my Union won a case for my constructive dismissal when my role was unavailable, after returning from maternity leave, even though I'd resigned and found a new job.


Good Luck!



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  • 1 month later...

Hi Thought I'd give you all an update. I did speak to my union rep, he was very nice and supportive and said that I was doing everything right (keeping notes etc etc), he didnt advise me to take anything any further, he suggested that I wait and see what happens when I retunred off sick leave; however if I did wan to take it further then the union would support me as he felt it was "consistent bullying". I returned to work and had an interview with another are manager; I laid my cards on the table, told exactly what I was feeling etc and that I had spoken to my union. Obviously she reported back to the main manager in charge and the one responsible for the "bullying" (they have been friends for many years, even before they started working for us); the manager in question has never spoken to me about how I am feeling etc.

Recently a manager in one of our other nurseries (close by) decided to leave due to her own personal circumstances. I have been "asked" to take over that nursery as I am "a strong manager, it needs work on it to increase occupancy, staff morale etc and they feel that I am the person to do it", although I was asked if I would move I really didnt have much opportunity to decline! This on top of I am constantly being told that I need to increase occupancy in the nursery I am currently in and if I dont there's a good chance it will close! Mixed messages or what!!

I am under no illusions that something maybe going on that I dont know about (unfortunately I have got to the stage where I trust no-one higher up!), however a friend who knew these 2 in a previous chain suggested that maybe the nursery I am moving to is ear-marked for closure soon and if it does close then they can make me redundant and so get rid of me! I have done nothing to make me disliked so much other than not agree with everything they say!!!

Anyway with this in mind I have decided again to carry on logging everything. I have asked for the reasons I am moving to be put into an email (they were said to me verbally initially|) so that I have a record of them, I have asked for an outline of everything they want me to achieve in the nursery, also a list of debtors and things that they are not happy with within the nursery i.e. exactly the state of the nursery when I take over. My intnetion is to record everything I do within the nursery to try to improve things, and to keep records of emails etc so that if in 6 months time they do indeed want to close and make me redundant then I have a comprehensive diary of whys and wherefors! I also intend to ask the current manager, who I have a good relationship with, the actual state of the nursery and if she has heard anything about it potentially closing.


Have I covered everything do you think; can you think of anything else I should be asking?


I didnt get an interview for the position I had previously applied for, but I plan to keep looking around in the meantime I have to make a go of the nursery I am moving to so any advice, suggestions etc would be great!

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I can see why you are suspicious of those above you. With your experience of childcare and management, would you not think about childminding? I'm sure you'd fill your books up in no time!

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