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Strange Parent Request- Advice Needed!


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A collague of mine has been approached by a parent who is struggling to potty train their very shy son.

Although he has mastered going to the toilet for a wee both at home and in our setting but will not poo on the toilet at all under any circumstance.

 

This morning a letter has been passed to the toddlers team from the parents who are expressing their wishes in this matter and asking for our support.

 

This is all very well and good but we do not think they are approaching this in the wrong way - they want us to encourage him to poo IN HIS PANTS but in THE BATHROOM.

 

!!!!!!!!!???????

 

The issue of allowing him privacy to do so is also requested because as mentionned he is a very shy little boy.

 

Our manger says we need to meet the wishes of the parents, but this is not the advice we give when potty training at our centre. The parents have said in the letter they are acting upon advice given to them so we are keen to find out the source of this!!!

 

Has anybody got any suggestions or come across such a request in the past?!!

Any help greatly appreaciated!

 

Jellytots

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A seemingly odd request as you say, however, many children will go off somewhere quiet to do this while potty training and so at least they are encouraging him to go to the correct place and eventually they must hope that he will be persuaded to use the proper facilities. Would be good to know the source of the advice for future reference though.

 

Fascinating stuff!!

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I agree it seems a bit bizarre! but having given it some thought it doesn't actually seem such a terrible idea to me :o

We have had many children who are reliably dry but will not poo in potty or toilet either at the setting or at home. Many find a quiet area to 'poo' usually somewhere where they think adults can't see them!

My guess is that the thinking behind this strange request is that he is going to poo in his pants anyway at the moment so encouraging this to be done in the 'right place' is a step in the right direction. Perhaps once done he can see the adult disposing of the poo in the toilet and over time he will progress to going in the toilet???

Certainly a new one on me though and not convinced it is a method i would like to try but having said that I wouldn't have a problem with meeting the parents request - presumably they are doing this at home and agreeing to do it in preschool will prevent mixed message to the little fellow otherwise it's poo in pants in bathroom at home and poo in pants anywhere you like at preschool xD

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I was advised by my HV to let my son do this or something very similar, many years ago as we had a similar problem.

She also suggested to put a nappy over the potty although I never did this.

It did eventually work out!

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I think that although it may be quite unpleasant to clear up you need to go with this request. This is purely because the parents have asked and there is no good reason not to do it.

 

I can see the logic behind it and, although it wouldn't be a strategy I would turn to in a hurry, it may well be successful. It will also be helpful for this little boy for there to be consistency between home and nursery.

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My oldest was just like that. I didnt send him anywhere with a specific request regarding geography but he wouldnt go on a loo. The closest we got was sitting on the loo, but the panic he had when things got underway had him sliding off and stamping his feet, a little panic dance.

It was a whole lot less mess in pants and not so many new bathroom carpets if we left him to his own devices.

I would just go with the parents request, he'll grow out of it if things are handled in a relaxed easy going way.

Edited by Rea
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I had a little girl in nursery a while ago who would always request her nappy on when she needed to poo - as mum was concerned about this I searched for some advice. What I read was to try allowing the nappy but encouraging the child to sit on the potty (with the nappy on) - made sense as sensation of pooing standing up is probably quite different to standing up. Then to progress to lining potty with the nappy. We used this strategy at nursery as well as home and it worked quite quickly.

This strategy seems to be a very similar step.

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I think that there has been some good advice. I like the nappy liner idea, and it does seem logical to take small steps - pooing in bathroom first, then gradually moving towards pooing on loo.

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I had a little boy just like this in my class. We encouraged him to pooh on the toilet by bribing him with books and toys and letting him put up pictures of his favourite characters in the toilet. He still didn't like it but he started poohing on the toilet quite quickly.

Just a thought but does your child stand up to wee? If yes, could it be the actual sitting on the toilet that he's worried about? Lots of children have anxieties about falling down the hole so maybe it would be worth getting him to sit on the toilet with his favourite toy when he doesn't need a pooh just to get him used to it. Start with sitting for 10 seconds and gradually build up. If you did this regularly through the day he'd probably get used to it quite quickly.

 

Also you could try reading books at story time about going to the toilet- Try this site for ideas of books- http://www.littleparachutes.com/

Or maybe a social story might be the way to go

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weird but interesting. A conversation with parents to discuss source of information and why would be good. Also making sure that this really is in best interests of child as that is what matters most. We have parents who keep children in nappies far longer than necessary because they are the baby of the family.

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