One Problem After Another

[Guest]

Something else I've been thinking about all day, one of my staff members has a child at the nursery both of them are in the pre-school room (no idea why!!)

 

Anyways yesterday I over heard her say "If you wet your knickers you will get a smack" I didn't do anything because I was so shocked, but now I think I ought to say something on Monday.

 

But should I just have an informal chat or should I instigate the disciplinary procedure? She's in a union as well so I really have to do things carefully.

[Guest]

Something else I've been thinking about all day, one of my staff members has a child at the nursery both of them are in the pre-school room (no idea why!!)

 

Anyways yesterday I over heard her say "If you wet your knickers you will get a smack" I didn't do anything because I was so shocked, but now I think I ought to say something on Monday.

 

But should I just have an informal chat or should I instigate the disciplinary procedure? She's in a union as well so I really have to do things carefully.

Common sense should prevail, have a quiet word and say if it happens again I would have not choice but to take this further.

[Cait]

I'm assuming (and I know I shouldn't) that you have a behaviour policy which spells out how you manage behaviour? ie, "We have a no smacking rule in line with County Guidelines ....." etc, and again I'm assuming that your staff member has seen this policy, even if she wasn't part of the original team who wrote it?

 

Yes, I'd take her on one side and gently say that you were very concerned to hear the way that she spoke to her daughter (apart from anything else, smacking a child who wets themself seems hardly fair, it can hardly be classed as a deliberate act of defiance!) and remind her of your setting's no smacking policy, and that this applies to her and her daughter too.

 

It could be a good time to suggest that she isn't in the same room as her daughter, if that's workable - she'll have seen the way that children act around their parents, and how then can be totally different when their parent isn't there. You don't say how long the child has been at nursery, but I think it could be a sensible idea to part her from her Mum, if for no other reason than it will be better for her to understand that Mum isn't always there, in exactly the same way as it is for the other children. This will also give her the opportunity to bond with her Key Person.

 

Have you got any literature you could give her on toilet training - it could be that she's at the end of her tether with it all, and needs some back-up. Not that I'm excusing her, just offering a suggestion as to why her reaction should be so 'over the top'

[narnia]

I don't care if she's in a union or not!! She is NOT allowed to threaten, or perform the deed she mentioned and she should darned well know better. I'd have a quiet word to begin with, tell her you heard and, to your shame, were so shocked to hear it, you did nothing.however, on reflection, you realise that you SHOULD have dealt with it and you would like her to read your policy on safeguarding/discipline etc, which reads that no child is ever threatened with...etc.....................and that INCLUDES her own child.Then I'd quietly remind her that the policy stands...............and that if you hear anything of the sort again, you WILL instigate the disciplnary procedure. Unions will not back someone who works with children and threatens them, but in any case, your first duty of care is to the child. You could ask,I guess, if there's a real issue with the child wetting herself, and maybe even think about the mother moving to another room, but I'd just be worried about any member of staff who felt it was ok to suggest smacking a child?

[Guest]

Thank you all for your replies, not sure about how long the little one has been coming as I only started on Monday myself.

 

I will take her aside for a quiet word on Monday

[Guest]

Oo and yes our behaviour mgt policy says all this and she should have read it (I will double check she has signed the thing to say she has read the policies).

 

But of course even EYFS says we must never threaten corporal punishment.

[Guest]

I have been reading this thread with interest. i over heard a member of staff saying to a child at lunch club the other day "if you don't eat all your lunch i will call your mother"

I wasn't happy with her making this threat but was unsure whether to say anything...... thinking back maybe i should have!!! this one is still playing on my mind............... i couldn't decide whether it was an issue i should raise or not.......

Has anyone else had this?

If i had your situation i definietley would say something and i would show her the behaviour policy as all staff sign this when they begin, the advise you have been given is really helpful as always.......

[Guest jenpercy]

I have been reading this thread with interest. i over heard a member of staff saying to a child at lunch club the other day "if you don't eat all your lunch i will call your mother"

I wasn't happy with her making this threat but was unsure whether to say anything...... thinking back maybe i should have!!! this one is still playing on my mind............... i couldn't decide whether it was an issue i should raise or not.......

Has anyone else had this?

If i had your situation i definietley would say something and i would show her the behaviour policy as all staff sign this when they begin, the advise you have been given is really helpful as always.......

In this case, I would have sent the staff member away to do something and had a quick word with the child, to see why she wasn't eating. as someone who had eating issues from age of 3 and I often didn't eat all day) until 19 (when I left home) I would say that you need to have some sort of policy on this, so that everyone knows. We make our children take home all uneaten food so Mum knows if they have eaten it. Then there are children who do better if allowed to graze, ie they will come back later for more food if it isn't an issue. then there is the child who has been ill, maybe thrown up and doesn't want to eat for a while.

 

If a child hasn't eaten much, we will have a quiet word with Mum, but our usual response is not to worry the child.

 

My problems started after I went into hospital in the 50s to have my tonsils out. I got lots of attention by not eating and it lasted 15 years. Generally, if you make as little fuss as possible they eventually eat.

[louby loo]

I have been reading this thread with interest. i over heard a member of staff saying to a child at lunch club the other day "if you don't eat all your lunch i will call your mother"

I wasn't happy with her making this threat but was unsure whether to say anything...... thinking back maybe i should have!!! this one is still playing on my mind............... i couldn't decide whether it was an issue i should raise or not.......

Has anyone else had this?

 

You could always raise the issue at a staff meeting - do it as a general training issue run through/up date your lunch time policy ?

[HappyMaz]

You could always raise the issue at a staff meeting - do it as a general training issue run through/up date your lunch time policy ?

I agree - sometimes the best way to get 'buy in' to a policy or way of working is to talk it through as a team and decide together what approach to adopt. Often things don't appear to be a problem at the time, but when talked about later, the issues emerge and the incident itself takes on a different aspect.

 

Maz