It's All My Fault!

[Upsy Daisy]

I thought this might be of interest to those of us who's babies didn't or don't sleep well. Apparently it is all our own fault for fussing over them!

 

http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/he...ng-1782527.html

 

Obviously this is why my first child wanted to be awake and playing during the early hours until she was about 6 and my second one slept brilliantly from day one despite my fears of a repeat experience.

[Susan]

Another stick to beat myself with!

[Guest]

Are you saying you fully support the "Cry It Out" technique?

 

Regards

Mark

http://earlychildcare.wordpress.com/

 

I thought this might be of interest to those of us who's babies didn't or don't sleep well. Apparently it is all our own fault for fussing over them!

 

http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/he...ng-1782527.html

 

Obviously this is why my first child wanted to be awake and playing during the early hours until she was about 6 and my second one slept brilliantly from day one despite my fears of a repeat experience.

[sunnyday]

I thought this might be of interest to those of us who's babies didn't or don't sleep well. Apparently it is all our own fault for fussing over them!

 

http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/he...ng-1782527.html

 

Obviously this is why my first child wanted to be awake and playing during the early hours until she was about 6 and my second one slept brilliantly from day one despite my fears of a repeat experience.

Uh oh - I don't think so if only it were that simple!

 

But thanks for sharing!

Edited September 6, 2009 by sunnyday

[Upsy Daisy]

Are you saying you fully support the "Cry It Out" technique?

 

I absolutely do not!

 

I think children are all different and we have to do what our insticts tell us is right.

 

I didn't rush to either of my children when they woke. The first one wanted to interact, have company and be awake. She has always needed very little sleep. The other one was able to settle herself and wanted to be asleep at night from birth. I fully expected the younger one to follow her sister and she didn't.

 

I would never leave a child in my care to cry for long periods. It doesn't feel right to do that.

 

Having said that if you know that lack of sleep is affecting your ability to parent well then you have to find a way to remedy the problem.

 

I don't think there is one reason why babies sleep or don't sleep. Every parent, child, family and home is different.

 

Maybe children of anxious and fussy parents are more likely to have disrupted sleep patterns.

 

Maybe it is due to genetics rather than parenting!

 

Let's put that stick down now shall we Susan?

[Guest]

Well, call it genetics, or parenting or whatever, I'd agree that "Every child is unique"

 

But unique or not, I wouldn't support the "Let em cry, they won't die" technique.

 

I was trying to leave a comment on Susan's post as well, disagreeing with the CIO thing, but I can't get the stupid thing to work.

 

Regards

Mark

http://earlychildcare.wordpress.com/

 

I thought this might be of interest to those of us who's babies didn't or don't sleep well. Apparently it is all our own fault for fussing over them!

 

http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/he...ng-1782527.html

 

Obviously this is why my first child wanted to be awake and playing during the early hours until she was about 6 and my second one slept brilliantly from day one despite my fears of a repeat experience.

[laura]

I'm having real problems with my 16 month old daugther. My son, now 3, slept fine and still does. But since 3 months old she woke up several times a night. By last christmas I was on my knees. I got no support from a health visitor who said it was my fault and that I had got her into the pattern of waking up, which I completely disagree with. I was and still am convinced she has an intolerance to something.

 

Eventually in february i was referred to a dietician but am STILL waiting to see them! By then she only woke up 3 times a night, either hungry or tummy pains. She eats barely anything in the day and is starving at night. Doctor has recently prescribed gaviscon and it made a slight improvement. However he also said it was probably my fault and that she wanted me. He also said move to cows milk which i have just done for 3 days and at night she has been a nightmare!!!! If anyone could have seen her at 5-30 this morning thrashing around crying they would have to believe me when I say that there is something wrong. At the moment I don't think they do.

 

I really don't know what to do next, and I'm exhausted!!!! And there is no way I'm letting her cry it out! She goes down for her nap without crying and for bedtime without crying so I know she can get to sleep on her own.

 

I can see why they say that some mums can be depressed after the first year trhough sleep deprivation. Experts would probably say it was me being an anxious mum as we lost our first baby at 2 months.

[Upsy Daisy]

I really don't know what to do next, and I'm exhausted!!!! And there is no way I'm letting her cry it out! She goes down for her nap without crying and for bedtime without crying so I know she can get to sleep on her own.

 

I can see why they say that some mums can be depressed after the first year trhough sleep deprivation. Experts would probably say it was me being an anxious mum as we lost our first baby at 2 months.

 

Oh Laura my heart goes out to you so much. I'm sure you are anxious if you have already lost one baby. That does not have to be the reason that your little one is waking!

 

I went through periods when my second child would wake and scream at night, obviously in pain. It started when she was few weeks old and recurred randomly for about four years. I saw paediatricians who put it down to things like itchy skin, bad dreams, waking to wee. They would never understand the severity of her distress.

 

Someone suggested to me recently that I should have videoed one of the episodes to show them at the clinic. I can't believe I didn't think of it before! Is that something which might help you to get the message across?

 

You have every right to phone and ask the dietician for an earlier appointment. I know it's hard to make a fuss when you are feeling exhausted but keep going until you get some andswers. You and your daughter deserve better than this.

 

Good luck

[Guest]

Well, with my daughter (who is 5 now and a brilliant sleeper - once I can get her into bed!) she had very bad reflux and was under the hospital for it, treated with gaviscon and also had a tendency to turn blue. Her sleep was awful, up five or six times every night. She didn't start properly sleeping through until she was well over a year old but even then, it was often a struggle to get her down. When the reflux stopped, she was still a nightmare at bedtime and we did try controlled crying, as we felt there was no other way to teach her about sleeping through.

 

My son, who is now 15 months was the total opposite and is generally able to self settle when he goes to bed. However, he seems to have trouble settling himself again in the middle of the night and still demands a bottle. Unlike with my daughter, there isn't anything I can attribute it to other than a routine he has somehow managed to get himself into. The health visitor has said try to let him cry and self settle, but when he gets very upset, he struggles to breathe (asthmatic) let alone sleep!

 

It's hard work when they don't sleep well. But I am kind of getting used to it. I did my level 3 3 months after my daughter was born, so when she woke during the night, I would use that opportunity to settle her and do some work. Now I am going to do year 3 at uni, I shall probably be doing the same. When my son woke at 2:30 this morning, I gave him his bottle and while he was playing I caught up on some planning for next week. It sounds as if I was ignoring him, but I am trying to interact with him as little as possible during the night, in the hope that he begins to understand that it is bedtime! It is difficult though, because out of my partner and I, I draw the short straw with the night wakings because I only work part time (never mind that I run the house, washing, cooking, cleaning, ironing, do the school run both times every day, do the shopping, go to work, do work at home and now go to uni full time!).

 

Laura, keep kicking up a fuss. It's disgraceful that your little girl is suffering like this because you have to chase everyone else. My son was in hospital recently (again) with breathing difficulties (this has been going on since he had bronchiolitis last October) and we are also still waiting for a referral to a paediatrician.