sunnyday Posted March 25, 2009 Author Posted March 25, 2009 I think you did very well 'biting the bullet' so to speak. I'm sure his mother must be at the end of her tether by the sound of it. Hopefully she'll be able to carry it through and her partner will back her up Thank you Cait - it was one of those moments when the 'timing was right' if you know what I mean - they are a great family - I'm sure daddy will 'come on board' - well let's hope so anyway. Sunnyday
Cait Posted March 25, 2009 Posted March 25, 2009 Thank you Cait - it was one of those moments when the 'timing was right' if you know what I mean - they are a great family - I'm sure daddy will 'come on board' - well let's hope so anyway. Sunnyday I do know what you mean. It's a great opportunity, and always great when Parents really value our opinions to this extent. I have done home visits in the past to talk to both parents - always invited of course. I had a little girl last year who started calling her Mum a bitch and a cow etc and saying 'I don't think so' in a really catty way when she was asked to do something. Turned out it was teenagers in the garden next door, but Mum was really distressed by it all - understandably so!
sunnyday Posted March 25, 2009 Author Posted March 25, 2009 I do know what you mean. It's a great opportunity, and always great when Parents really value our opinions to this extent. I have done home visits in the past to talk to both parents - always invited of course. I had a little girl last year who started calling her Mum a bitch and a cow etc and saying 'I don't think so' in a really catty way when she was asked to do something. Turned out it was teenagers in the garden next door, but Mum was really distressed by it all - understandably so! My goodness - life is never straightforward is it! I'm feeling so much better about this tonight - I just hope his mum is too - the last thing I want to do is add to her worries - but we have to find a way to help him. Sunnyday
Guest Posted March 31, 2009 Posted March 31, 2009 Well where do I start! I think you need to re-think where you are coming from. First you need to ensure you have a copy of Confident, Capable and creative: supporting boy's achievements- guidance for EYFS from DfSF. You have a child showing great interest in a subject and you need to embrace it rather than stop it. You could do so much with this. We had a similar thing with a child with spiderman so we had a hero week, all the children came dressed up from star wars to ninja turtles. We had secret letter writing in a hideout and blowing messages out of tubes to post- great to get children mark-making- CCL. All the children choose what to make and most wanted head bands to look like ninjas and one even used the baby car seat as a shell, very impressive- CD. They found a common interest and worked together and played together in a focused way- PSED. Outside as you can imagine they went completely mad and had a great time- PD. You can talk about weapons and how they can harm in real life and set ground rules if needed to prevent injury in play-KUW. You have to remember you may have a child who's parents who are in the services- what are you going to say to them about war- you can't say it is all wrong, can you? We had a web for them to weave and then they had to work out how they were going to use it to make a den- PSRN. If you work with this child in their interest it will become less of a conflict and become a learning experience which will benefit everyone. We found once we embraced the interest and allowed it the obsession of the children was much less. So go on, have a Star Wars week and get the parents involved too- sounds like great fun to me!
Guest Posted March 31, 2009 Posted March 31, 2009 Hello sunflower01, A warm welcome to the forum and thanks for your first post. Your description of ways to 'embrace' Hero worship type play encompasses the sentiments of Penny Hollands book 'we dont play with guns here' and is a positive way to incorporate childrens interests within the setting rather than have 'blanket bans' per say. sunnyday has embraced this boys interests but is still experiencing innapropriatte play. I'm not even sure that it is the 'content' of the programme that he is watching that is the problem with 'this individual' child. He appears to have a very 'active' imagination and lots of energy (yes, like many children) but he is not developing ways to 'take account of others' in his play, or to 'calm down' when appropriatte. This behaviour could manivest itself even if he was watching a more sedate style of programme. I think consideration of the fact that he is 'sitting sedately' for a period of time prior to preschool may need addressing. sunnydays dilemma was about parental relationships really and how best to share a point of view about parenting practice. Let's maybe ask the question, What ways could the practitioner advise the parent on helping the child arrive at preschool in a calmer state of mind? I do not have TV on in the mornings as My 3 boys are very active, and for them to 'sit still' for a time prior to school will just give them lots of stored up energy, my boys are out in the garden, running around prior to the school run. They are a bit older, but enabling them to 'let off steam' prior to school helps them when they are required to settle down on arrival at school. Peggy
sunnyday Posted March 31, 2009 Author Posted March 31, 2009 Peggy - thank you - that is such a supportive post and clearly you read my posts fully. The little boy in question is on holiday this week - so can't update on how is responding or indeed whether his parents have managed to 'restrict' this viewing. As I said in earlier posts they are a great family and want the best outcomes for their son, as do I. Again, thank you for the considered and thoughtful post. Sunnyday
Guest Posted March 31, 2009 Posted March 31, 2009 I have one in my class obsessed with 'family guy' and 'american dad', i spoke to his mum about it as his behaviour is disgraceful and she told him she would take his dvd's off him if he didn't stop mimicking the behaviour at school. She had actually bought him them to watch - tehy're 15 or 18 vert. Thing is, he is only 5, how is he supposed to know what is real and what is not? Its not the chidlren we have to educate sometimes - its the parents. I too will have a good look at the leaflet the other member left on here! Thanks
Guest Posted March 31, 2009 Posted March 31, 2009 Peggy - thank you - that is such a supportive post and clearly you read my posts fully. The little boy in question is on holiday this week - so can't update on how is responding or indeed whether his parents have managed to 'restrict' this viewing. As I said in earlier posts they are a great family and want the best outcomes for their son, as do I. Again, thank you for the considered and thoughtful post. Sunnyday Hi I have been reading all the posts on this subject and wanted to add something from my own experience. Have you considered that this boy may have an Autistic Spectrum disorder? The reason I suggest this is because you say he has problems with social interaction and displays inappropriate behaviour when playing with others and is obsessed with Star Wars. I have two sons with Autistic spectrum disorders and the main way it can be seen to effect them is that they can be aggressive and inapropriate in their play with other children and they too become obsessed with watching particular film or TV programmes. Your suggestion to involve the SENCO and outside agencies would be a good idea if there's no improvement in his behaviour. If he does have an Autistic spectrum disorder the Star Wars obsession is just a symptom of this and stopping him from watching it will probably make little difference to his behaviour. Turquoiseellie
Guest Posted March 31, 2009 Posted March 31, 2009 http://www.firststepsstoke.co.uk/pdfs/tv.pdf i went on tripple p training and just saw this on their website.
sunnyday Posted March 31, 2009 Author Posted March 31, 2009 Hi I have been reading all the posts on this subject and wanted to add something from my own experience. Have you considered that this boy may have an Autistic Spectrum disorder? The reason I suggest this is because you say he has problems with social interaction and displays inappropriate behaviour when playing with others and is obsessed with Star Wars. I have two sons with Autistic spectrum disorders and the main way it can be seen to effect them is that they can be aggressive and inapropriate in their play with other children and they too become obsessed with watching particular film or TV programmes. Your suggestion to involve the SENCO and outside agencies would be a good idea if there's no improvement in his behaviour. If he does have an Autistic spectrum disorder the Star Wars obsession is just a symptom of this and stopping him from watching it will probably make little difference to his behaviour. Turquoiseellie Thank you for your reply - very much appreciated. This is, of course, something that we have thought about - but would just say again that this is a 'sudden' downturn - the only reason I ever made the link with Star Wars is because as he developed this interest so his behaviour changed. I think I should have used another 'topic title' - what I was really interested in was other practitioners views on what they feel is appropriate when it comes to talking about something that is happening at home that may be impacting on their child's pre-school life. I will, of course, with parental permission involve the area senco if things don't improve. His parents are both 'medical' professionals - don't know why I feel the need to add that really. A really sad situation all round , he's a dear little boy really and all I want to do is help him and his family. Again thanks for reading all the posts and taking the time to reply. Sunnyday
sunnyday Posted March 31, 2009 Author Posted March 31, 2009 http://www.firststepsstoke.co.uk/pdfs/tv.pdf i went on tripple p training and just saw this on their website. Jeanine - thank you so much for that - that's extremely helpful - I have printed off and it will have pride of place on my noticeboard tomorrow! Thanks again - good of you to take the time to add this. Sunnyday
Guest Posted April 10, 2009 Posted April 10, 2009 Reading this thread has been really interesting. I am not keen on guns and in the past have had children always making them with bricks etc. Some children who have the older brother and sisters may have a little bit more of an understanding and others do not. We live in an area where people do not carry guns around its not in our news etc. We have had a spiderman fanantic and starwars. One of our little boys now is obsessed with starwars but our other boys are quite quiet and into Thomas etc he calls them all babies as they like Thomas which i find very sad. I know you cannot protect children from everything and you do need to explain things to them. I have had one boy who used to sit up and watch 18 films in his room but yet was a lovely boy, kind and thoughtful. He was bit old before his time (he spent his weekends with grandparents so i think his brain was stimulated in a different way other than the telly when he was with them) Unfortunatly its children who have may seen real life things that are not on telly. A little girl of ours has been swearing at other children calling them names like F**** B**** etc but she has come from a broken home where mum got beaten up she saw a man saying these things to her mum. Our parents have it in for her (not knowing the whole story) she is only 4 and does use them in an agressive why which looks likes she means what she is saying but is mimicing what she has seen. Oh and the child thats plays grand theft Auto its a horrendous game stealing, swearing and lots more there is no way i would let my little boy play it let alone see his daddy play it in front of him if we had it. If i see a dvd film/programme film at pictures if it says U or PG then i know its aimed at my children who are 2 and 6. Why do people then go and buy their children 15 and 18's games and DVDs??? am i missing something? I also feel that if something is on beyond their bedtime then it is deemed unsuitable for them ( i know with sky etc you can watch when you want almost) but Family Guy is on about 10pm. Sorry know i have gone on have looked at this thread lots of times. Autism does sound like a route to follow up???
Susan Posted April 10, 2009 Posted April 10, 2009 Hi to the 2 new members who have joined in this discussion, which I had not followed previously, Sunflower and Turquoiseellie. Is Star Wars really that awful, it certainly never used to be and it has a whole range of products aimed at children, annuals and toys? Rather than stopping him watching this it may be appropriate for some more meaningful interaction about it. Sunflower's ideas sound like a good. It is not always possible for children to be active first thing in the morning. I know my neighbours would have complained big time if I had put my boys outside before school and it could also be that the parents can not accommodate this in their routine either. What did this child do before he became engrossed in Star Wars in the morning? .
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