Guest Posted January 22, 2009 Share Posted January 22, 2009 Hi everyone I really messed up today. Don't want to go into too many details but my actions could have put a child at risk. They didn't thank goodness and everyones absolutely fine and I'm the only one that knows things could have gone so drastically wrong. I didn't follow my own procedures for which there is no excuse - I can try and justify it by saying I was under pressure, over worked, tired, not well etc but I feel terrible, absolutely terrible. It's given me a real crisis of confidence - am I good enough at what I do, should I be put in charge of these very precious, vulnerable children? I know I won't be able to sleep tonight for mulling it over and wondered if any of you kind people have any tips for how to deal with things when you wish you could just go back a few hours and do things the right way Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Susan Posted January 22, 2009 Share Posted January 22, 2009 Big hugs! Youre only human and everyone makes mistakes. Your mistake whatever it was had no long term ill effects and will make you extra cautious in the future as you realise how easily things can go wrong. Try and put it behind you now. Good luck. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted January 22, 2009 Share Posted January 22, 2009 Big hugs!Youre only human and everyone makes mistakes. Your mistake whatever it was had no long term ill effects and will make you extra cautious in the future as you realise how easily things can go wrong. Try and put it behind you now. Good luck. Now I'm really crying Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hali Posted January 22, 2009 Share Posted January 22, 2009 oh bless you - we all make mistakes and want to turn back the clock at times. As Susan says we are only human - think we tend to forget that sometimes. Do not be too hard on yourself just learn from it t ensure you do your utmst not to let it happen again. Hugs and kisses xxxxxxxxxxxxxx Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hali Posted January 22, 2009 Share Posted January 22, 2009 virtual tissues on thier way xxxxx Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted January 22, 2009 Share Posted January 22, 2009 Big hugs from me too. Measure this one incidence of human error, which you have quickly recognised, which shows you are a good person, compared to all the successful, safe, caring, good experiences you have given in the past, today and will give in the future. The fact that you feel like you do now, shows that you are in fact a very special person. Some incidences can happen so quick, or not always be foreseen, or look different with foresight, so please don't be too hard on yourself, you say 'could of' not 'did' put a child at risk. Please forgive yourself, get a good nights sleep and move on from this knowing you will have an added strength from the constructive lessons learnt from it. Peggy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted January 22, 2009 Share Posted January 22, 2009 Thankyou so much Hali, Peggy and Susan. This forum is so full of kind and genuine people. I will try not to be too hard on myself, I certainly will take steps to ensure it never happens again. I think the main issue is to do with the relationship I've worked so hard to build with the parents of this child - their family life is very different from mine and out of my desire not to judge their lifestyle I have ended up going along with something that is not in line with my policies or what I feel is safe. Thankyou again Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
narnia Posted January 22, 2009 Share Posted January 22, 2009 It seems to me that you have already learnt from this incident...........................and will be better and stronger for it.Don't beat yourself up too much, but resolve that this will never happen again, and I suspect it won't!Get some sleep xx Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted January 22, 2009 Share Posted January 22, 2009 ((Hugs)) You are only human and really shouldn't be so hard on yourself - we all make mistakes sometimes and we learn from them. You know you've learnt from it and that's the main thing. Sleep well xx Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gezabel Posted January 22, 2009 Share Posted January 22, 2009 Hugs from me too and please don't be too hard on yourself. No harm came to the child in question but being the great practitioner we all know you are you have used your professionalism to critically reflect on your practice and have recognised on this one occasion your practice was not quite what you would want it to be. That in itself is a real credit to you and illustrative of just how good you are at what you do! Many practitoners would have an 'oh well never mind nothing actuall happened' and leave it at that. It sounds to me as though you have already dealt with it in an appropriate way, recognising what you did/didn't do and vowing to make sure it doesn't happen again. Do try not to torment yourself with 'what might have been/could have happened' but accept this as a learning curve (which I think you have already!! and dealt with admirably.) Nice pampering evening on order for you, and onwards and upwards and put it behind you Take care Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted January 22, 2009 Share Posted January 22, 2009 My dear old mum always says "what you cant cure you must endure - as long as you learn from it", I feel for you and we have all been there, but you cant put the clock back and by the sounds of it you have learned from what happened, so don't beat yourself up, I'm certain you are a good and caring person and deserve a HUGE BAR OF CHOCCIE so a virtual one on its way to you. And do try to have a good sleep x Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted January 22, 2009 Share Posted January 22, 2009 Thankyou Narnia, Chicken Licken, Geraldine and Janny You're replies really have been comforting and yet again I'm really touched that people have read my post and offered support. I'm going to have a bath and a glass of wine now and try to let it go. Thanks again everyone xxxx Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shiny Posted January 22, 2009 Share Posted January 22, 2009 I'm sure there are lots of us who at one time or another did or said something that we then regreted and spent a long time beating ourselves up in our own heads. Lots of hugs sent to you!! Try and get some sleep tonight. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted January 22, 2009 Share Posted January 22, 2009 thanks for your support Shiny Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hali Posted January 22, 2009 Share Posted January 22, 2009 enjoy your wine and bath Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Andreamay Posted January 22, 2009 Share Posted January 22, 2009 just want to add my empathy DCN i believe things happen fro a reason some obvious now some later some not obvious to us. andrea x Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted January 22, 2009 Share Posted January 22, 2009 Lots of love from me too.....we have all been in that horrible position or will be in our lifetimes...it is horrible but like everyone has said the fact that you feel like this shows your caring and understanding side. I can only repeat what everyone has said ... give it time and you will feel a little easier about it all and given more time you will learn and take something positive from the whole experience. Sooo much empathy coming your way. :( :wacko: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cait Posted January 22, 2009 Share Posted January 22, 2009 The very fact that you have recognised this as something which could have gone badly wrong, but luckily didn't this time, shows that you have reflected on your practice. I suspect that all of us have done something we deeply regret in our working lives, with retrospect, and things which prey on our minds for a long time, I know I have. But allowing it to take over really doesn't make it any better - in fact it often builds it out of all proportion. Take stock, remember all the brilliant things that you do every day, for ALL the children in your care, and the respect, trust and love which is felt for you every day by the parents and children in your precious care. As Anne of Green Gables said, "Tomorrow is another day with no mistakes in it yet" Sleep well, put it behind you and start tomorrow with your usual welcoming smile on your face Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted January 22, 2009 Share Posted January 22, 2009 There's not a lot I can that has not already been said. Try to put today behind you and don't be too hard on yourself. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
louby loo Posted January 22, 2009 Share Posted January 22, 2009 Can only mirror what's already been said, and just remember you'll be a stronger person tomorrow from your expereinces today. ((((xxx)))) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted January 22, 2009 Share Posted January 22, 2009 Hi there, Yes, as others have said, I am sure you are a brilliant early years professional, or else you would not have put yourself through all this. You have been brave and reflective. Thank you for sharing your worries. Hope you are having some sleep and peace - after that chocolate/bath/wine! Lesley Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted January 22, 2009 Share Posted January 22, 2009 Just wanted to echo all that has been said before. We are only human and at times we are asked to be so much more be strengthened by knowing that you have already learnt so much!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aliamch Posted January 22, 2009 Share Posted January 22, 2009 Just wanted to wish you a peaceful nights rest, everyone who's read your previous posts know that your children are the heart of what you do. It speaks volumes that you came on here to tell us of your distress when you were the only one who knew what had happened. Karrie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dublinbay Posted January 23, 2009 Share Posted January 23, 2009 Hope your last night's sleep was restful and peaceful and that you have taken heart from all your well-wishers on the forum. Enjoy today if you are at work in the knowledge that you have learnt a valuable lesson and you have come through the other side as the strong, loving and caring professional that you are. Lots of hugs. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted January 23, 2009 Share Posted January 23, 2009 Morning to you.....been thinking about you this morning and hope you slept well and that time has done its thing and you feel a little lighter this morning. Have a good day and a restful weekend. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest MaryEMac Posted January 23, 2009 Share Posted January 23, 2009 I just wanted to echo what everyone else has said. I hope that you managed to get some sleep and are able to start this new day stronger in spirit from what you learnt yesterday. God bless, Mary Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted January 23, 2009 Share Posted January 23, 2009 dcn, I hope you have had a good day and have managed to put yesterday behind you. mrsW Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted January 23, 2009 Share Posted January 23, 2009 Oh DCN, sorry I missed this thread last night. I hope you've had a better day today? These things happen and, particularly when you work alone, it's easy to feel pressured by a parent into going against your instincts let alone policies and procedures. As the others have so rightly said, no-one was hurt, you've suffered enough with the "what if's" and you've learned a harsh but valuable lesson. Try looking on it as an opportunity to reflect on your practice. What would you do differently, and why? We're all asked to look at and evaluate our everyday procedures and you're just getting a head start! Sending you lots of love, Nona x Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted January 23, 2009 Share Posted January 23, 2009 Thankyou everyone so, so, so much for your replies. I'm so touched by all your responses. I too, believe that things happen for a reason and perhaps i should view this as a bit of a wake up call. I did get some sleep and it really was because of all your kind words - more comforting than I could have hoped for so I hope you all realise how much I mean it when I say 'THANKYOU' I've had a good day, children have had lots of fun - babies stripped off for paint followed by water play then dressed up in wellies and waterproofs to go splashing in puddles. (coat fell off the radiator though (I had to put it over waterproofs) and I didn't realise until hometime so had to take her home in a wet coat) and had to apologise to mum who was going straight out and had to wrap her in a blanket - it just feels like such a hard job sometimes, obsessing over learning and development/eyfs/sef and sometimes it's the basic care that I mess up on. I always seem to be doing a kind of 'note to self : must do better tommorrow' Anyway, I really am genuinely grateful for each and every reply - it helped me so much x Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted January 23, 2009 Share Posted January 23, 2009 so Monday, try a 'note to self' What I did well today' bet it's longer than your other, must do better' notes all put together. Have a good weekend. Peggy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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