bubblejack Posted November 25, 2008 Share Posted November 25, 2008 I need advice please for tomorrow. I have a very challenging child who attend my pre-school.He is 3.6 months and been attending for 9 months.His parent is aware of the situation. He really can't adapt to being in a group and just wants attention all of the time.This cause him to be spitefull and generally disruptive, he quite regularly wets himself when he is told off. Last week he bit a staff member. I explained the situation to his Mum. She said that he had been challenging at home. So between us we made a star chart. It was successful for a while but this week things are not good with him in pre-school. When I talk to his mum at the end of the session he just screams the whole time. Today she has suggested that she stays with him. I am not really sure if this will help but I am willing to try anything. Have I done the right thing in allowing her to stay??????? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cait Posted November 25, 2008 Share Posted November 25, 2008 You can only try it - at least she will see him 'in action'. It may be possible - with her permission, for you to get your area SENCO to came and have a look, and she may be able to access funding for you to pay for a one-to-one worker if that's what it is deemed that he needs Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jennyjenkinz Posted November 25, 2008 Share Posted November 25, 2008 i'm not sure that it is particulary helpful to refer to a child who is experiencing significant difficulties as spiteful, attentin seeking maybe a better way to view the difficult behaviour. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted November 25, 2008 Share Posted November 25, 2008 I think star charts only work for a short period for any child. I think it is great that the mum has suggested that she stays - she obviously really wants to work with you on this and I think you were definately right to let her - this definately seems like a partnership approach. Can you get your setting SENCO to also be in the session and chat to the mum? I think you need to come up with some other ideas and targets - perhaps in the form of an IEP. You may be able to find out more from the mum tomorrow about whether there are any problems at home, and also make sure that you are fully aware of all the child's strengths and interests and that you are providing lots of opportunities for these - as well as the obvious such as catching him when he is being good and giving lots of praise, making sure he has enough opportunities for outside and physical play etc. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted November 25, 2008 Share Posted November 25, 2008 I would let mum stay with you tomorrow so that she can see first hand what's going on, see that you actually like her child and are trying to help him, but you do have everyone in the group to consider, and that his behaviour is not just "because of his age" as some parents sometimes think. Sounds like they both need support atm and you will not be able to do that for the child if you and nmum are not singing from the same hymn sheet. Good luck Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HappyMaz Posted November 25, 2008 Share Posted November 25, 2008 I agree with Starburst about working in partnership with mum - you'll need to work together to get to the bottom of what is happening for this child and come up with strategies that can be used consistently both at home and by all staff in your setting. Some good quality ABC observations will help identify what his trigger points might be so that you can work out how you might try to avoid these situations arising. It will also provide evidence of his difficulties if it is necessary to refer him to other professonals. Good luck tomorrow - I'm sure its a good sign that mum wants to work with you and that with support you'll find a way to help this child. Maz Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bubblejack Posted November 28, 2008 Author Share Posted November 28, 2008 I now understand why this child has problems. Having his mum in pre-school was very enlightening.Every time he hurt someone he went running to his mum who promptly picked him up and cuddled him. In fact he was worse with his mum there but she didn't want to stay the following day.We are carrying on as before giving praise when possible. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts