Guest Posted October 18, 2008 Share Posted October 18, 2008 Hi everyone Just looking for some advice, i haver broken out in coldsores (due to stress - that's another post - will fill you in somewhere else) but have, as a result had this result. I know they are highly contagious and can even be passed on without realising it through hands etc, is it fair to go into nursery with this or is the right thing to do to not expose them? Recently whenever i try to do the right thing i seem to have got it wrong so advice please.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HappyMaz Posted October 18, 2008 Share Posted October 18, 2008 Hi everyone Just looking for some advice, i haver broken out in coldsores (due to stress - that's another post - will fill you in somewhere else) but have, as a result had this result. I know they are highly contagious and can even be passed on without realising it through hands etc, is it fair to go into nursery with this or is the right thing to do to not expose them? Recently whenever i try to do the right thing i seem to have got it wrong so advice please.... Hi Rainbowbrite Sorry to hear that you're so stressed that you've broken out in coldsores: as if the stress isn't enough these can be very distressing can't they? I've looked it up on my infectious diseases poster for work and as you can see, there is no exclusion period recommended for coldsores. The advice says that "Many healthy children and adults excrete this virus at some time without having a ‘sore’" I've attached a copy of the poster if you're interested in seeing it. Thinking about it though I'm not sure how up to date it is: I know I checked it within the last few months and it was current then. Maz infect_poster_1_.pdf Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cait Posted October 18, 2008 Share Posted October 18, 2008 I think if you are sensible, try not to touch your face and use some of that hand anti-bac gel every now and then to be on the safe side. Wash your hands well regularly and obviously don't kiss any of the children! I get these from time to time, when I'm run down or stressed - usually accompanied by a raft of mouth ulcers too, (although I have to say since taking Omega 3 I've not had any of those) I make sure I use my own mug and keep away from the children - I try to do lots of non-contact jobs too, like paperwork, or cleaning and tidying and as we are well staffed I can do this. One child asked me once if i'd kissed a hedgehog as apparently they'd talked about kissing animals at home as part of a 'no-no' and she equated the two! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted October 18, 2008 Share Posted October 18, 2008 Hi there, Thanks for the replies - that threw up another concern which is what do you tell the children, even if you are wearing a plaster they ask a million questions! So how do you explain the virus??? Thanks as always Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted October 18, 2008 Share Posted October 18, 2008 Hi rainbowbright, Sorry to hear you have an outbreak of coldsores, they can be so distressing as Happymaz says. I agree with others that you don't need to take time off work solely becuase of these, basic hygiene practice should suffice. As for the childre, if they do ask then the answers would be in line with their level of understanding, ie: they are spots which you look after by putting cream on, they will get better soon. I haven't read your other post yet but I would say that as the coldsores are a symptom of stress, it is the stress that you really need 'treatment' for. Thus, at least, minimising further outbreaks. Are you looking at ways that you can help yourself and get help from your employers to reduce your levels of stress. It is important in the long run for the benefit of yourself and your employers that work related stress issues are addressed as soon as possible. I do hope you feel better soon. Peggy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hali Posted October 18, 2008 Share Posted October 18, 2008 i get them quite often too - but still go to work - you just have to be careful Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted October 18, 2008 Share Posted October 18, 2008 Hi Peggy/Happy Maz Thanks for your help. I just started a new role and am in still in my 'trial period' but had a string of bad luck during this time with various personal issues including personal illness and a car crash (without insurance cover). Despite putting my job first at all times (even before my family - eg. Bought a new car when mine broke down, never took a day off despite not having a courtesy car, coming in when not fully recovered, etc), it turned out that my employer had not seen my efforts over and above these struggles and much to my confusion, got a very wrong impression. This was mainly due to my going to work when I was still ill – noble intentions but a foolish choice as my listless energy was misinterpreted. On that day that I went in still poorly we had a lunchtime management meeting followed by an evening team meeting and I had worked from morning till 8pm without a break. In my judgement I couldn’t find a safe period in the day ratio- wise for me to take a break, but a colleague reported that they had offered me a break, which I didn’t take up so, events were stacked up against me. I had to sit in on a very intense meeting regarding my professional practice after returning from sick leave where my practice was picked apart hourly and daily, with comments taken way out of context. It was hard but I tried my best to remain honest and professional. However the combination of events and comments had built up a very distorted and wrong impression. They did say that they would give me a chance to continue with another review at the end of the trial period. Im still digesting where this leaves me but after everything it is difficult to continue in an environment where I feel unsafe as all my words and deeds have a tendency to be misunderstood. As I am still in training and not yet completed my qualification and need a placement to finish, this leaves me in a pickle to say the least. However after this experience I am not sure if the early years sector is for me, I love the children, I love the work, but in all my professional life in other fields and other jobs I have not been so misperceived and its a bit frightening to be honest. So I am wondering is it the profession or the setting or me??? Anyway, the combination of all this is the stress and my employer certainly will not be looking for ways to support my stress management as they want me to buck up and prove myself at the moment. Ho Hum, in every challenge is a seed of opportunity, so I am told. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HappyMaz Posted October 18, 2008 Share Posted October 18, 2008 However the combination of events and comments had built up a very distorted and wrong impression. They did say that they would give me a chance to continue with another review at the end of the trial period. Im still digesting where this leaves me but after everything it is difficult to continue in an environment where I feel unsafe as all my words and deeds have a tendency to be misunderstood. Gosh, Rainbowbrite - no wonder you are stressed! You sound very alone and isolated - it is unsurprising that you are wondering whether you've found your niche. Your employer has a duty to support you and to provide an atmosphere in which you don't feel the need to research every little decision you make and be able to justify it - and certainly one where your every move is being monitored and reported on. Anyone would buckle under such a degree of micro-management. Do you feel you were listened to throughout this whole process? Or rather that there is some kind of hidden agenda here? It must have been very difficult for you to remain open and honest whilst all this was going on - and even more so without the support you needed and deserved. I am full of admiration for the way you have coped with this personally very difficult time. Perhaps you are learning the hard way that it is important to retain some kind of balance - putting your job before all else is sometimes necessary but not over a long period of time. I heard Jenny Moseley speak a couple of weeks ago and something she said struck me very hard. In order to love the children you work with you first need to love yourself and take time to ensure your own needs are being met. Otherwise you will stretch yourself too thin and eventually you will snap. Is there anyone in your organisation who you can talk to about what has happened and help you find a more equitable way of working within this team? I'm really worried that if you go on like this you will become demotivated and resentful (even if this is not normally part of your psychological make-up I think it might be a reasonable response to what you have been through). As Peggy says, the stress you are under will be undermining your health and it needs to be addressed for your own sake. I have to admit that the balance thing is something I struggle with - as hali says I am good at advising others but lousy at following my own advice! I am trying to put something else Jenny Moseley said into practice though: Bin it, Bag it, Bring it. Here's my interpretation of what she said:- Bin the things that have upset you - let them go because they are in the past and can only damage you if you dwell on them. Bag the things you know you have to deal with until the time is right for this discussion (imagine putting them into one of those ziplog bags, and zipping it up until some later date). Bring to work with you that thing about yourself that you know will make life better for the children you are working with - whether its your knowledge and experience, your sense of fun or your very real commitment to your work). By consigning past hurts to the bin, and by putting the larger issues on hold temporarily, I am hoping that I can focus on what is positive about me and my practice so that I can work hard to improve outcomes for the children in my care. I'm sorry to bring this round to me but I wanted to share something that I am finding useful at the moment - it may or may not be helpful to you but sometimes it helps to know that you're not alone and that others are there ready to support you. I really hope that you begin to feel physically and emotionally stronger and that you can regain some positive perspective on your work and the value of what you are doing. Take care Mx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Susan Posted October 18, 2008 Share Posted October 18, 2008 If you are in a union, get some advice and support asap. If not, you should probably think about joining one, although I dont know if they can help with matters already arising. Good luck. I know how it feels to be where you are now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deb Posted October 18, 2008 Share Posted October 18, 2008 Some very good advice about looking after yourself first. Something I'm sure many, many of us need to do!! So do try to 'refill your cup' as it were, do something for yourself, not just today but often then go and show them what you're made of. Early Years is a lovely place to be! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted October 18, 2008 Share Posted October 18, 2008 thank you happymaz and Susan for your advice, its hard to keep perspective when you are inside a situation but I am not going to do anything hasty, just get through the next week until I have a week's leave and then make a decision. I never like to feel that I am a victim, I always take responsibility for whatever situation I find myself in, so I continually search for ways to take feedback and improve but when how well you think you are performing is in such contrast to the feedback you are getting, it is a little bit confusing to say the least. I think that's the main reason for being stressed - that discrepancy. I am surprised to hear that you think I need to see a union, that suggests that you think I am not being treated fairly. I was not sure whether it is normal and professional to take such a detailed audit of someone's behaviour and comments. It makes me look at it a bit differently so thank you. Rainbow x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted October 19, 2008 Share Posted October 19, 2008 I think, reading between the lines, but I might be totally wrong, that there may be a lack of communication, that has affected the way you have been judged in your ability to 'do the job'. Were your employers aware of the personal issues you were dealing with? Personal illness, were you reluctant to take the time off to recover because you were within a 'trial period'? The car crash, I had one last year, my first ever, from this I learnt that until you've experienced a car crash you cannot fully understand the emotional trauma this causes, let alone any injuries sustained. I think of myself as a strong resiliant type of persn but after the my crash, on reflection, I would say I was in a state of shock for at least a week after, very tearful, flashbacks thinking of the worse scenario's before coming through it and feeling 'lucky to be alive'. Others around me saw only the positive of 'lucky to be alive' and couldn't understand my apparent 'depression' type behaviour (shock). If your employers were unaware of what you were dealing with then your attention to your job may very well have been misconstrued. This is not an excuse however for the need of employers to have systems / attitudes in place to be supportive of their workforce (and I think, especially for those new to a post). Maybe you could write a letter, detailing the facts of what you've been through, possibly in a non-blaming way, then suggesting that the continued trial period be viewed as wiping the slate clean and being assessed from a 'new start'. best wishes, good advice from happymaz to 'bin' their first opinions of you, and then bring to work the 'real' you and show them what 'yes' they have been missing (through no real fault of your own). There is a tricky balance of individual employees bringing home worries to work, but also the human nature of the work team to be there to support each other. Good communication is about letting the team know what support you need, but also letting them know what you can give to support the team in terms of being 'able' to do your role once you have been supported. The give and take of team work. This aspect of understanding is especially hard for newcomers to the team. The team unfortunately don't know you well enough yet to 'give', to know whether you are worthy of them invsting their time in you yet, this may not seem fair, but is human nature as a new team forms. So as best you can, now you have the opportunity to 'prove your worth'. So again, 'bin' the negatives of the past trial, and get in there, be commited to open communication and show them what an asset you will be for the team. best wishes, let us know how you get on. Working within the right team (which takes work in itself) and you will find that Early Years is a great place to be. Peggy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted October 19, 2008 Share Posted October 19, 2008 I think, reading between the lines, but I might be totally wrong, that there may be a lack of communication, that has affected the way you have been judged in your ability to 'do the job'. Were your employers aware of the personal issues you were dealing with? Personal illness, were you reluctant to take the time off to recover because you were within a 'trial period'? The car crash, I had one last year, my first ever, from this I learnt that until you've experienced a car crash you cannot fully understand the emotional trauma this causes, let alone any injuries sustained. I think of myself as a strong resiliant type of persn but after the my crash, on reflection, I would say I was in a state of shock for at least a week after, very tearful, flashbacks thinking of the worse scenario's before coming through it and feeling 'lucky to be alive'. Others around me saw only the positive of 'lucky to be alive' and couldn't understand my apparent 'depression' type behaviour (shock). best wishes, good advice from happymaz to 'bin' their first opinions of you, and then bring to work the 'real' you and show them what 'yes' they have been missing (through no real fault of your own). The team unfortunately don't know you well enough yet to 'give', to know whether you are worthy of them invsting their time in you yet, this may not seem fair, but is human nature as a new team forms. So as best you can, now you have the opportunity to 'prove your worth'. So again, 'bin' the negatives of the past trial, and get in there, be commited to open communication and show them what an asset you will be for the team. Peggy Hi Peggy Yes, they were aware of all the things i was going through, but since there is a strong ethos of not bringing personal issues to work I was doing my best to adhere to that. Was I reluctant to take off time sick because I was in my trial period - absolutely! As soon as I was physically able to drag myself there I did so, which was a terrible mistake with noble intentions, unfortunately these intentions were not recognised. It's true what you said that they don't know me but now that they have formed a very distorted impression of me I will have to work under that shadow. Is it advisable to be wrestling with a false image of myself and trying to reinstate the real me? And considering how they failed to recognise how much energy I put into putting the job above all else despite very difficult circumstances, will they be able to see the real me, or will that false image marr everything I do? I can bin what they have done, but can they bin their false impression of me? These are all things that are in the complicated mix. Rainbow Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HappyMaz Posted October 19, 2008 Share Posted October 19, 2008 I can bin what they have done, but can they bin their false impression of me? Ouch! My admiration for you grows apace! You are clearly a 'big' person who strives to put things behind you and move on. That takes guts and determination, and not many people would be able to do it, given how you've been treated (and yes, when I read what you have written I do think you have been treated unfairly). I guess that only you will be able to judge whether they are the sort of team who are able to row back from their position - perhaps you owe it to yourself to try to do everything you can to help them see the 'real' you rather than the one they have seen portrayed. I hope they are as big as you are and will be able to see that they have completely misinterpreted you and that once they get to know you they will value you for who you are. Of course it may be that no matter how hard you work or how careful you are, they will never change their opinion and the trust between you and them can never be rebuilt. If you give it everything you have but still feel this way then perhaps the best thing is to put all this behind you and move on to find another setting that will recognse your talent and value your abilities. The most important thing is that you emerge through all this with your sense of self worth (and not least your health) intact. It would be such a shame if this awful situation should dent your confidence to the extent that you wonder whether early years is the place for you. From what I can see you have so much to offer - not least your willingness to reflect very deeply on your practice and your commitment and drive to do the very best you can for the children in your care. Hands up who needs a practitioner like this in your team? I know that I most certainly do! Take care, Maz Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted October 19, 2008 Share Posted October 19, 2008 Hi there, Thanks for the replies - that threw up another concern which is what do you tell the children, even if you are wearing a plaster they ask a million questions! So how do you explain the virus??? Thanks as always I recommend using the compede patches they take away the risk of catching them (I have kissed my boyfriend wearing one) and they get rid of your coldsores really quickly my last one was gone in around 6 days. Wear them religously and you shouldnt have a problem with others catching Debs Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HappyMaz Posted October 19, 2008 Share Posted October 19, 2008 I recommend using the compede patches they take away the risk of catching them (I have kissed my boyfriend wearing one) and they get rid of your coldsores really quickly my last one was gone in around 6 days. Wear them religously and you shouldnt have a problem with others catching Good tip! Maz Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted October 19, 2008 Share Posted October 19, 2008 I think Happymaz has hit the nail on the head, so to speak, it is th lack of trust that needs rebuilding. I hope that you can find the extra bit of strength to enable them to gain your trust, you need to be able to work in an environment where you are taken seriously, where your input is valued. Hopefully attitudes will turn around, if not, like Happymaz says, maybe this particular setting is not the place for you. Maybe ask fellow students if they know of any other settings where you can finish your placement, if things don't work out, just as a back up plan. I wish you all the best and really hope that this experience doesn't put you off early years work altogether, there are many, many fantastic places to work out there. You may find it is the place you are now, given time to get through all the other issues you are dealing with personally. Give yourself a timetable, say after the end of term 1 break, to step back and then make any decisions for the future. Peggy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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