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Very Strange/sad Little Boy- Advice Please.


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Can anyone help? We are a school Nursery class and have 32 children. One of them is making no progress whatsoever in amy way, if anything, he is going backwards!

He cannot play alongside or near anyone without pushing them very hard and very purposefully out of the way. He then mutters under his breath and shakes his fist at the child/ren he has pushed away. If staff try call him over for any reason, good or bad, he runs off and thinks it is hilarious to have you chasing him around. When you catch up with him- he will then push, punch and again mutter at you. He will not let anyone hold his hand and tries to constantly wrestle free.

There is so much anger in here and I really am at a loss to know what to do. Carpet times are murder- he can't listen or sit still and if asked to do either, he curls up into a ball and starts shouting very loudly random phrases or words sometimes with swearing.

I have spoken to mum and she admits he is same at home. She admits she does not pursue why the behaviour is unacceptable and said they always laugh about it so he is not made to feel bad! I know this is the root of the problem- condonded unacceptable behaviour, but apart from when he is away- which is usually quite regulalry!- the rest of the group are losing out as we are having to spend so much time dealing with his unacceptable/ dangerous behaviour.

Sorry for the long post, but anyone got any tips/ strategies? I have tried zero tolerance, explaining, modelling good behaviour, praise, 1-1 but nothing has any effect so far!

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Have you sought advice from your SENCO, Mozart?

 

It does sound as if you need a concerted plan of action - both at home and in the setting - so that the child is being handled consistently. I think he (and you, and mum) need more support than you are getting...

 

No other advice I'm afraid - but it does sound more than just behaviour management problems to me.

 

Maz

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Hi Mozart,

 

It could be worth deploying the child's keyworker to act as a one to one with him for a while, where they can build a relationship with the child and observe the onset of particular behaviours. We have tried this on ocasion and it has given us the basis to move forward and the observations gained act as evidence to pass to any professional who we may well need to seek advice from in the future.

 

Hope this helps a little - Dot

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Good advice given as always :o

 

Are you able to free up a member of staff to observe him during the whole session, can certain triggers be pinpointed?

 

As Dot, suggested, he definatley needs plenty of opportunities to form a relationship with someone at the setting to enable other relationships to then form.

 

Is there any interests or resources from home that can be carried through to nursery to help him feel a little more settled?

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I've just been doing a book review for Uni about supporting children with Attention/Behaviour Difficulties. One thing they talked about was gathering together all the observational evidence you can so that you can say that X% of the day is spent in this particular type of behaviour. That way you can be sure that you have reliable data about how the child spends his day - and ABC obs will help identify what triggers what type of behaviour.

 

Of course this is very labour intensive - so your setting might need some support too while this happens. :o

 

Good luck..

Maz

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thanks everyone- some good ideas here. His irregular attendance complicates things even further- I plan myself to spend 5 good minutes with him every day, just talking, settling in, observing the other children and how they share and have a good time(?!) based on taking turns, quiet chatting etc.etc.- this is part of his I.B.P., but then he is away, so there's no consistency. I do think he has some form of Attention Defecit disorder- only basing this on much experience of working with older ADHD/ADD/ASPS children but am always caught between labelling him too early, when I know that for whatever reasons, there is some element of poor parenting in the equation also- but again, if he has ADHD for example, how hard must that be for his mum 24/7? and not labelling him early enough so that he gets the help he needs.

Tomorrow's another day....................!

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Hi Mozart

 

Just a thought, I had a little boy with CLL delay and again he did not always come into pre-school, sometimes missing two sessions a week or coming in half way through the session. Once I had formed a good relationship with his mum, I suggested if she gave me her permission, then we both contact the Health Visitor and invite her to come into the session to observe me working with the child. This approach of involving the health visitor really opened doors, and we all sat down together and first of all celebrated him with his mum, and then moved on to concerns. The Health Visitor then visited the little boy's mum at home and again in the pre-school offering support and encouragement - I too gained from her visit - the mum felt valued and we all worked for the best outcome of the little boy. Hope you have a good week :o Dot

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and we all sat down together and first of all celebrated him with his mum, and then moved on to concerns.

What a lovely way of putting it! Sometimes its hard not to lose sight of children's strengths and individuality when the worries about their development can be so overwhelming.

 

Thanks for that - something to file away in my memory to bring out whenever I need to!

 

Maz

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You definitely need Mum onside. Have you talked to her about how important consistency is - both with dealing with his behaviour and more importantly in his regular attendance at nursery. Are the two somehow inked i.e. does she give up when things get difficult. She sounds like a Mum who needs lots of input to give her confidence to think about her son and how best to help him. It is very easy to ignore or laugh at behaviour when a child is young but it gets harder as they get older. Lots of input from you, the health visitor, area INCO, setting SENCO etc. now could really help the whole family and improve a stressful situation in your setting.

Good Luck

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We had a child attend with the similar issues. However after building good links with mum whom like yours thought it was funny i discovered the lad had been up since 5am, breakfast at 5.30am with his dad before work so he was really hungry when it came to 9.30 start time. After having his breakfast number two the child soon settled down much more happier and had the patience to play with others & deal with situations without going to bash them or something. Simple solution for a terrible situation!

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