What Would You Do?

[Guest]

My daughter is due to start school in September and I am lucky to have two good primary schools to choose from - both very close to where I live (less than 5 mins walk away).

 

They both have similar results but one is much smaller than the other... oh and I am the Reception teacher there!

 

My dilemma is that before I got the job I would have chosen this school (for its small family feel) as the one to send my little girl to but now faced with being her first teacher I am having second thoughts.

 

I am not sure whether the situation will be good for her or me for that matter and am thinking that it may be better to go for the other, larger school but then I think perhaps I am going for what would have been my second choice purely because of my job and is that unfair on her? (she would only be with me for a year after all) I am making myself dizzy with it all

 

If she went to the other school I suppose she would have a more normal school life rather than always being the child of a teacher - would she be treated differently if she came to my school, would having friends round to play be tricky, would staff find it difficult talking about her in the staffroom with me there, would parents find it strange talking to me as her Mum rather than their child's teacher etc?

 

Oh help - every day I change my mind! As teachers how would you feel and what would you do?

 

PS Deadline to apply for our LEA is 7th December!

[narnia]

Difficult? No, you go with your gut instinct about what is best for your little girl, and that's the school you're at! Don't worry, she'll have lots of friends, staff will be honest (otherwise you wouldn't be working with them, would you?) and, as you say, she will only be in your class for a year.Just make sure she gets no 'special' treatment from you or your TA and all will be well..........................the only problem I forsee is Parent's evening! How ARE you going to talk to yourself about her progress??

[Guest]

I am part of a jobshare so I would have to let my other half tell me about her from her point of view! At least it would mean one less on the appointments list!

[hali]

i went to the same school that my mum taught never did me any harm - infact i loved it, do what you think is best for you and your daughter

[Deb]

I agree do what's best for your daughter, choose your school!

[Guest]

I teach in a small one form entry school and some of the teachers teach their own children. Its no problem at all. In our school, the teacher usually delegates another member of staff to deal with her child - not that your precious is likely to have any discipline issues etc.- and the non-teaching parent is contacted re. issues. You and your teaching assistant could work it out between you - if your child e.g. talks whilst you are teaching the assistant should deal with the situation, not you as much as possible, similarly with praise, certificates etc. Hope you both enjoy yourselves,

Ruthanne

[Susan]

Id go with your first choice school too--yours!

 

Its hard being a teacher in one school with children in another. Ive been there and you will be able to attend all those assemblies etc without feeling you are missing out or that she is!!!

 

Dont look for problems that might not exist, cope with them when and if they occur. What do your head and your job share partner think?

[Guest]

Hi

I taught my daughter in Year 1 and it was the best teaching year ever for me. My daughter still rates me as her best teacher! It developed into me having a very special bond with my daughters friends and also their parents. It made me realise just how young they still were. I look back on that year with such fondness, it did my daughter no harm and she very quickly adapted to calling me Mum once the children had left for the day. I would say go for it!

Good luck with your decision

 

Gemx

[Guest Wolfie]

Yep, I agree with everything that everyone else has said - a friend over the road from me is in exactlythe same position as you, she's already taught her daughter and now has her son in her class and really hasn't come across any problems. And as someone else has said, it means youi don't miss any assemblies, sports days, etc.!

[Guest]

I'd put her in the first choice school, if you happen to teach there, well that can be a bonus. It will make settling in easier for her, and you won't miss out on anything. As a teacher you will be able to deal with situations as they arise, just discuss things with your collegues beforehand.

My husband was taught by his grandma for 2 years and said it was great, as when he was stuck he could pop round after school and ask questions he wouldn't ask in school. I had my son in pre-school last year and it wasn't a problem, he was told that if something happened (with another child) he was to see the nearest member of staff (not find me specifically) and if he was naughty I treated him the same as the others. The danger is you expect a certain level from your child, but once you get the hang of them as part of the class it comes naturally.

If you are worried have a word with your head and your job share.

Looks like you've been given lots of good advise by all the other members

Sally

[mundia]

Ill go against popular opinion here and say no I wouldn't ever have wanted to be in the same school as my daughter let alone the same class. It was a very conscious decision that we both made (we are both teachers) that we would never put ourselves, our daughter, or our colleagues in that position. My daughter always said as she was growing up that she was glad I wasn't her teacher as she only wanted me as her mum.

 

Having taught many colleagues' children over th years, Id say the ones that have been fine v the ones where there have been problems has been about half and half. I think with the best will in the world its incredibly difficult to see your own child as anything but your own child, and therefore very difficult to not treat them differently, or expect others to. I think quite a lot of teachers would say the same.

 

I have always liked to keep my personal and professional lives quite separate, so thats quite a big thing for me too, I could therefore never have mixed the two by being teacher at school and mum at home.

 

Incidentally many school I have worked in also have a policy of not having own children in their class. Presumably you have discussed this with the head and there isnt a problem?

 

Ok having said all that, and sticking my neck above the parapet to give an alternative view, you really must do what is right for you and your child. Perhaps you can ask your job share partner how they feel, and make sure that your daughter understands that at this time , she wont necessarily get the attention that you would normally give her if you have 29 other children you need to consider. If you think that you and your daughter will cope well with the situation, then go ahead.

 

Of course, is it at all possible that she wont get a place at your first choice, or is it pretty much taken as read that she will?

[Guest]

I would say go with your first choice and if you job share she wont be with you all the time.

I think people tend to be harder on their own children so there is no sign of favoritism (I know thats spelt wrong but my mind isnt on full form).

At our school there is quite a few staff with children in the school and everyone is fine.

The hardest is when one teacher goes through the hall and her child is stood out.

[Marion]

All I can say is I wouldn't have liked to have taught my children (or my friend's children)

[Andreamay]

Im not a teacher but I too would be inclined to say probably not

The fact you said what about having friends back for tea.made me think Howver i havent any experience of it sorry not really been any help but i can see it would be a dilema

[Guest]

I did a lot of supply one year in the other half of my daughter's year. It didn't cause us any problems. I've also had my son in my Cub Pack. He claims he had to work harder for his badges but I don't really think he did. It did no harm anyway, he's my assistant leader now.

[Guest]

There was rule in my school (1 form entry) that staff were not allowed to work with a class their child was in.I chose to send my daughter to another school other members of staff didn't .It didn't seem fair (to me) on other staff that had to move year groups/classes to accomodate a staff member who couldn't have their own child.This appilied to ALL staff.

I'm glad on reflection she went to a different school.I could be 'just another parent' and not have the added complications of being a member of staff.I'm sure it wouldn't have of been a problem for my daughter but other members staff had difficulties.

[Guest]

I've worked with several differnt people during my time at playgroup and two previous members of staff had their children attend our setting and they didnt have any problems at all and neither did i, their children were treated just the same as the other children......go with your gut instinct!

 

i personally went on 3 week placement at my sons school, i was in year 2 and my son was in reception class. at first when he saw me in the school he would shout out "mummy, mummy" and tell his little friends ever so proudly that i was his mummy. after a couple of days i sat him down and said when i'm at your school darling why dont you call me miss H like all the other children do and i said as a special treat and just for me and you we can wink at each other when ever we see each other in the corridor, only he couldnt wink but he looked ever so cute trying to and all the staff thought it was very amusing and my son loved it because it was our special thing

 

Sarah

[Andreamay]

OH SARAH HOW LOVELY

[Guest]

Thank you for all your lovely comments - there is no policy against teaching your own child at our school so she would be in my class but I do only teach 3 days out of the 5 so she would still have another teacher!

Really like the secret idea!

[catma]

Do staff always stay in the same year groups? maybe teach a different year group for that year.Cx

[Guest]

I can only comment on a preschool perspective but I think pro's and cons will be similar.

 

My son ( now 24 yrs) attended preschool when I was supervisor ( committee run ), at the time he appeared unaffected, had good friends, who came to tea ( and are still his best mates now 21 yrs later). We actually lived next to the school gates and his transition into school was perfect. I do remember being sterner with him compared to the other children, higher expectations of 'good' behaviour. I even remember thinking about how I would be more judged as a 'teacher' by measure of my sons behaviour, he was however a popular lad. As an adult he mildy complains ( as adult children do about their childhood) that I put 'work' before him, that he always had to wait for things because I was always 'doing work' etc.

 

20+ yrs on and at my current preschool ( as owner), I employed my step daughter, and her son( now age 6 yrs) , my grandson, attended with us for 2 yrs. He saw me as 'teacher' and has a stronger bond with 'granddad', ( his blood nan is in his home life more than me). He had behaviour issues ( currently being assessed as ADHD) which made work life difficult at times, mum found it upsetting when she had to juggle being mum/teacher, he would get upset when disciplined and want 'mum' cuddles etc. But, and this is a strong but, we both (me and mum) feel it was a very good 2 yrs, the shared experiences that other mums don't get to have working away from their children, the deeper understanding between my daughter and I over 'parenting' issues that grandmothers may not get to experience with their daughters relationships with their children. I could see things more in her perspective.

 

Then just this summer term my 'foster' daughter came to preschool with me, the other cildren still talk about her now, saying Peggy is a mum ( some of these children also knew me as a 'nan'). The short time I had at preschool with my foster daughter really helped her settle in to home and new school.

 

The most important thing is to consider your own and your childs personalities, really only you know what will be best for you both. Once you have made your decision, and if it is to be with you, then it is really necessary to talk to other work colleagues about your expectations, they need to know how you want them to treat your daughter, this communication has to be continuous, open, honest, open to constructive critisism, as well as sensitive. The other staff may worry how to handle situations, it is like all the other children 'shared care'.

I think the fact that you are job share will help, your child will experience school with and without you. Remember that it is different with your child with you, to think otherwise would be denial, but different does not have to mean ' negative'. There are many positives, just communicate any feelings, issues immediately, you to staff and staff to you, and involve your child in these communications when deemed appropriate and at her level.

 

Peggy

[HappyMaz]

I'd say you must be guided by what you know in your heart to be best for your daughter and for you. I worked at my children's pre-school and I have to say the day my youngest son left I was heartily glad! Like Peggy I found I expected more from my son's behaviour than I did for other children's - and there was always the issue that my parenting skills might be judged wanting. Mind you, I think that was more about how I viewed my own parenting skills than any evidence that people were looking to find fault!

 

I remember one day having a new parent on a settling visit with their child - my little chap had just been reprimanded for some minor discretion or other. I shook my head sorrowfully and said "I blame the parents you know!". The look of horror on her face made me realise what she was thinking - "do they talk about all the parents this way?". I had to hastily explain - not for the first time had my sense of humour got me into trouble!

 

What does your daughter feel about it? On balance I think I would say that if you consider all the worst-case scenarios and still come to the conclusion that she'll be happier with you in your school and will receive a higher standard of education (and who could doubt that?) then go for it.

 

Maz

[Guest]

I have 3 children and my first 2 went to a different primary school to mine. however last year I was teaching in the Foundation unit and my youngest started there the term after she turned 3. I deliberately chose to send her to my school rather than her siblings because i felt we offered a much more appropriate Foundation stage curriculum. We had about 2-3 difficult weeks while she adjusted to the fact that I couldn't just play with her! However after that we havn't looked back and she has been very settled and happy.

This year I am not working directly with her as I am In year 1/2 and she missed me being in the unit for the first couple of weeks but once agian has settled brilliantly.

My biggest issue is that have the children of 3 other members of my staff in my class this year and feel incredibly resposible.....!

[Guest]

Hi - just remembered something else ! as my daughter began to understand my dual roles of mummy and teacher there was an occasion at school when i could here a little voice in the background ' mummy....mummy.....mummy.......MUMMY..... MISS OXENHAM!!! She had worked it out!