Guest Posted April 19, 2004 Share Posted April 19, 2004 hAS ANYONE ELSE GOT THIS PROBLEM? WE HAVE A FOUR YEAR OLD WHO IS COLLECTED EACH DAY BY SEVERAL DIFFERENT PEOPLE MUM, DAD, AUNT, NANNY, OTHER AUNT THEY ALL HAVE PERMISSION TO COLLECT THE CHILD BUT IT IS GUESS WORK AS TO WHO WILL ACTUALLY TURN UP. WE LIKE TO SEND HOME SOME SIMPLE WORK WITH THE CHILDREN WHEN THEY REACH FOUR YEARS OLD STUFF LIKE COLOURING IN A PICTURE. THE CHILDREN ALWAYS LOOK FORWARD WITH ANTICIPATION TO START THESE HOME TASKS WE DISPLAY THE WORK ON OUR DISPLAY BOARDS PROUDLY. THIS PARTICULAR LITTLE GIRL TAKES HOME WORK EVERY WEEK BUT NEVER BRINGS IT BACK BECAUSE SHE CAN NEVER REMEMBER WHERE SHE WAS WHEN SHE DONE IT. I HAVE CONFROTED THE PERSON COLLECTING THE CHILD AND THEY JUST GET ON THE DEFENSIVE OR START SHOUTING AND GETTING CROSS. I HAVE TRIED TO EXPLAIN THAT IT ISN'T DOING THE CHILD'S MORALE MUCH GOOD TO SEE THE OTHER WORK BEING DISPLAYED AND HERS NEVER BEING RETURNED. WE HAVE TRIED DOING HER WORK AT THE SCHOOL, BUT SHE DOESN'T FEEL THE SAME ABOUT IT. SOON WE ARE TAKING FOUR OF THE OLDER MEMBERS INCLUDING THIS CHILD. TO A LOCAL FUN WORK SHOP AND WE HAVE BEEN WAITIN FOR FOUR WEEKS FOR THE PERMISSION AND CONTACT SHEET TO BE RETURNED. MY MEMBER OF STAFF MENTIONED IT TO HER NANNY TODAY AND ENDED UP GETTING INTO AN ARGUMENT WITH HER. AND I'VE GOT A FEELING THAT TOMORROW THE MOTHER IS GOING TO SAY SOMETHING WHEN SHE DROPS OFF THE CHILD. WHY DO WE BOTHER TO TRY AND GIVE THE CHILDREN DIFFERENT EXPERIENCES WHEN THE PARENT CANT EVEN BE BOTHERED TO SUPPORT US. HAS ANYONE ELSE EXPERIENCED THIS AND HOW DID THEY DEAL WITH IT. i'M AT MY LAST TETHER. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bubblejack Posted April 19, 2004 Share Posted April 19, 2004 Lesley, I do sympathise with you very much. Do try and get the mum on your side. Some people seem very stressed especially when they have to rely on the goodwill of relatives for childcare I would just sympathise with her and say you understand she is very busy and you understand that she may have overlooked the form so could she sign on the spot. Do you see the parent enough times to just deal with her not the relatives. Good luck its not easy is it when we put so much work into things and its not replicated. We have home-link news books some parents never contribute to them I just try and boost their self esteem in another area. . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mundia Posted April 20, 2004 Share Posted April 20, 2004 Yes it is difficult soemtimes isnt it? lesley, perhaps you could ask the parent or relative if there is a reason why they dont want the child to go to the wrokshop-soemtimes they dont realise that the papers need signing before they are allowed to go so as Bubbljack says, approach them with form in hand. As regards the things they do at home, keep encouraging them, do you know if the child in question has the appropriate materials needed to complete the task (we have no end of families that dont have crayons). Can you suggest to her that she puts it in her bag or coat pocket when she has finished whatever it is, so that she has it the next day? Not ideal I know, but unfortunately you cant force the parents to do these things with their children (unless you have the equivelent of a home-school agreement). other than that, continue to value what she does when she is with you, which will build hers self esteem. Im sure most of us have had parenst like that in varying amounts. Unfortunately you can only do your best to get them on board, sometmes you wont succeed, but dont give up trying. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted April 20, 2004 Share Posted April 20, 2004 Hiya Thanks for your reply. I think the problems lies with the lack of communication between all the different people who pick her up. Today we gave the aunt another form and asked her to complete it at the pre-school. She said she didn't know her mobile no, so we suggested that she rang our telephone and we did 1471 to get her no. she totally refused and said "ask her mother my number" before ranting and raving and then storming out. It really is odd. Perhaps the mother feels guilty about having so many different people collect her child and there is an underlying problem with that. But I have to wait now and see what tomorrow brings. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bubblejack Posted April 20, 2004 Share Posted April 20, 2004 Oh dear Lesley you are no further forward. I just wonder if the relatives are resenting the mother asking them to collect her child. Could you phone the mum and get her on your side by asking her to help you address all these issues.It is hard to be diplomatic if they get so uptight.I suppose it is the parents that need to spoken to not the relatives. I do sympathise with you but don't lose your patience with them like they do with you. Some parents lead very traumatic lives.!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted April 22, 2004 Share Posted April 22, 2004 Hi everyone Well, Yipp a dee doo!!! Problem sorted. Spoke to mother today and we both agreed that there were two factors that caused this, Lack of communication, so we are going to deal with anything direct. Clash of personalities between minder and member of staff. Which I can't do much about as I can't make people like each other, I will try and keep them apart and hope that for the child's happiness they can be adult enough to put their differences behind them. I'm just going to see if there are any vacancies going in NATO I think I am well qualified now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hali Posted April 22, 2004 Share Posted April 22, 2004 Lesley So glad its all sorted for you..its a horrible situation..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mundia Posted April 22, 2004 Share Posted April 22, 2004 glad you were able to sort out something, and you seem much happier Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted April 22, 2004 Share Posted April 22, 2004 Thanks it's just with everything else we have to worry about. I don't need in house fighting. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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