Naughty Chair/naughty

[Rea]

The word naughty is also debatable in itself I think. What I consider naughty is far and away different to what some friends and collegues have considered naughty and visa versa.

My children would lie in puddles to fill their pockets with water, stand under leaky guttering to feel the water on their heads, put dirt and stones in their pockets, fill their wellies with mud and put them back on, make potions in the bathroom with talc, bubble bath, shaving foam, toilet paper...the list is long! I didnt consider any of it naughty and would allow any child in my care the same freedom. (H&S and all that obviously)

I think we need to decide what naughty really means before we give a child a lable. If a child or children are throwing toys and its naughty is it still naughty if we substitute the toys for bean bags and a target? If a child draws on the walls and its naughty but we then attach paper to the wall and give them a boundary to draw on is it still naughty?

The smiley and sad faces have worried me for a while. I dont feel quite comfortable putting a name in full view of other children, staff and parents. If I consider something is naughty it's between me and the child, purely because others might not view it that way. Its then up to me to talk to the child about what has happened, what their actions meant to them and others and what we can do next time, not make a huge song and dance about it. Although weeing in the playhouse can make me use my serious voice

[Guest]

What you mean the playhouse hasn't got an ensuite???

 

I too am not keen on smileys, clouds, or any other chart as I have commented on in a previous post, although I do recognise that visual clues do work better for some children, it's when it is en mass, that I feel uncomfortableso to speak. My question is what happens when the reward systems are no longer there?

Yes, we can allow for maturity, but I think that developing self control ( behaviour ) is the same as any other development, we don't call children 'dumb' because they haven't developed speech at the same level as their peers so why 'naughty' if they haven't developed self control yet?

 

Peggy

[Inge]

and not just what happens when not there but my son found as he was always 'good' in comparison to others he never got rewarded so began to do things like the others to get a reward!! He fast learnt how to 'work the system'

 

Rea, your children sound like my son was, digging to Australia in the pouring rain in middle of veg patch with 4 mates... his mates mum and I got together and stripped them off at the door before sending them to shower off... once they had finished... in the mean time we had a good 4 hours peace and quiet. it was when the dog joined in it began to get a bit too much to stand.

 

stone and rocks in pockets....I have a basket full of these where I was told to keep them as they were important. Still got them all and he went on to do geology A2 and degree including oceanic geology, now works for a well survey company so he obviously had an interest from a young age just developing.

 

Oh and the potions... bathroom stunk for weeks of perfume..

 

along with all the other stuff he did over the years we enjoyed most of it and never even thought of it as being 'naughty' but understand someone else may have not been so 'free'

[Rea]

I've got 4 or 5 snowballs in the bottom of the freezer from previous years. I am under instructions to keep them

 

A few months ago there was something on the news about giving rewards to drug adicts who stay off the drugs. My 14 yr old thought about it and then said he was going to start taking them, come off them and then get a prize. Luckily he's more sensible than that but the message is clearly that we get a reward for doing what the majority of the population dont do anyway.

[Guest]

When I was at school, a very long time ago, you had a chart on the wall, if you were good all day you got a star, every "naughty" thing got a black dot ( lost property was one thing ), 3 dots you didn't get your sticker at the end of the day. Anyway, I mostly got my stars, and sticker, but on 3 occasions I didn't, and I was so upset that I cried for weeks, I even remember what the things I did wrong were. I found it all very stressful, and still remember the pain and anguish some 30 years later. As a consequence I don't and would not ever use star charts. What worsk for some, can be a horrible experience for others even the good ones )

[Guest]

I have just emptied my 7 yr old daughter's school bag after she walked home by herself (very safely) - I found 4 stones of varying sizes and colours, 2 scallop shells, an interesting looking piece of root, a bent piece of wire, a no longer squeaky dog toy, apiece of rope and best of all...........the spine of a rabbit still with some bits of flesh attached!!!!!!!!!!

 

Naughty?? No, I love it

 

I used to work in a school which used Assertive Discipline as a method of reward and thought it was great to start with but after a couple of years became disillusioned when, like Inge said, the 'good' ones felt they had to work the system to get rewards in some of the classes.

 

Megsmum