Leaving Home

[Guest]

HI all,

 

well i have decided that it is time i stood on my own two feet and leave home, I am 25 (26 in July) and have only ever left home twice, one to move miles and miles away and i got homesick, and the second time i moved in with a girl i worked with, we got on very well, but her boyfriend spoilt it (long story) and i moved back home. I have now been back home about five years and although mum and i have our ups and downs we are so used to living together, i am used to the hustle and bustle of having three siblings at home, and being around mum and her partner.

 

However, recently after a lot of soul searching and emotional growth i have decided i need to live my own life for me, so im off.

 

I am in the process of completing tenancy forms for a house share which is about three miles from where i live now, and also about three miles from work too, so not that bad!, There are three rooms in the house (plus the landlords room) so when full there would be four of us.

Part of me is scared to be sharing with people i don't know, yet equally part of me is excited too. Anyone else ever done a house share, if so how did you find it?

 

I told mum today,maybe not the best day with it being mothers day, she is now upset i am going. But i think it will allow our relationship to grow and develop further, as i believe that when we only see each other once a week (as will be the case) we will appreciate one another more.

 

so yeah, strangely scared, yet strangely excited too

 

Dawn

[Marion]

Wishing you good luck and happiness in your new home

[Guest]

good luck Dawn you never stop worrying about the choices your children make but im sure you mum will be fine about it once shes had time to think it over x

[Andreamay]

oh I live in hope when my eldest (27 in july) goes AGAIN!!!

[beth1]

oh I live in hope when my eldest (27 in july) goes AGAIN!!!

 

Well I have never left home, I can't afford it. If I could I would, funny you should mention your eldest snap on the age and month! I would also maybe then set up as a Childminder depending on cost and I could be my own boss and not be constantly looking around for jobs.

 

Anyway Dawn good luck I hope you enjoy it.

 

 

Beth

[Guest]

Good luck Dawn, your relationship with your mum will flourish, I think the time you make for each other when you don't live at home is more special,

 

I dread my children leaving home, that's why I have five children, I am hoping that one will always be hanging around at some point, can't imagine them going, I feel sad now too, give your mum a hug from me!

[Guest]

Good luck Dawn, it sounds like you are making the right choice for you

[Andreamay]

Well ok im obviously a heartless mother!!

but i have had children since I was just 18 I just want a spell not having to think about washing and ironing and cooking and worrying about them out in their car on snowy roads or half an ear open til they come in or consoling them when a relationship breaks up!

Yes i know that you never stop worrying and i do have a son who doesnt live with us who i love and nurture even still about,but it would be lovely just me and my hubby for first time in a very long time!!

[Susan]

NO not heartless! Never think that of yourself because you feel differently to someone else. Every stage of parenthood is different isnt it and evokes in us different responses but ultimately we want our children to be happy and confident to lead their own lives.

 

Good luck Dawn.

I am sure your mum will be happy for you too when she has had some time to get used to the idea. Maybe you could have consulted her earlier in the process but you no doubt had your own reasons for not broaching the subject until your plans were well underway.

[Guest]

Yes, sorry didn't mean to make you feel heartless, I know Susan is right, and I too, would like some time with my husband, and cooking for two would be nice sometimes, rather than seven, doesn't make you heartless anyway just means you are you,

 

it is always nice to hear how other people are coping and how they feel about the different stages of parenthood, I have changed the way I think lots as I am getting older,

 

funny old business this parenting lark, bl***y hard, extremely rewarding, and always surprising.

[Gezabel]

I absolutely dreaded and double dreaded the empty nest syndrome arriving here. Three years down the line it's OK . My eldest son lives and works in London we speak all the time, often go up to London and grab lunch together and he comes home as and when he can My second son bought a house about a year ago but is only a 10 min drive away - our relationship has gone from strength to strength since he moved out which has surprised us both!

 

I still have 2 at home but son and heir number three is on the move in July and the baby of the family is off on his world wide travels again later this year! The hardest thing for me was when he spent 9 months in Australia but I survived and know I will do again.

 

Hubby and I get many nights when it's just the two of us and the days of playing taxi to the boys are long gone

 

Still not looking forward to the day when the youngest finally leaves for good though! Never mind though as there is a wedding looming in 2009 - ooh! do I need a hat as mother of the groom!!!! and my daughter in law to be tells me I can look forward to being a granny

[Guest]

How exciting Dawn.

 

My mum and I would annoy the hell out of each other if we were to live together now!!

 

Just think ... you can go shopping for lots of lovely things to put in your new home (can I come??!!).

 

Let us know how it goes.

[Guest]

Best of luck to you Dawn, a time will come soon when you look around 'your' place' and have a sense of belonging and a feeling of pride in that 'you did it yourself', 'your place', 'your home'.

 

Look forward to inviting mum around for tea and having to do the washing up when she has gone home

 

Peggy

[Rea]

Your mom will be fine and so will you. Its exciting to leave home and start life anew. i wish you luck

 

I have to admit to being the not very bothered, if thats the right word, if they leave or stay. I love them absolutley, they make my world perfect and would fight like a tiger for them but...so long as if they leave they are happy, safe and with good friends the thought doesnt worry me. In fact I've been trying to encourage Sam to travel at some stage in the next couple of years. I didnt ever do anything and I really want them to do things, go places, see stuff, meet people.

 

 

 

Then I can go on a cruise

[hali]

best of luck

[Sue R]

Everything will be fine! Honest!!

 

My daughter left home at 19 to be with her boyfriend (they are now married) and although we used to have some terrible times, I missed her sorely. Since she left, we have steadily become the very best of friends and sometimes potter off around the town together on a stupidly girly day or evening! She's now almost 27 (May) and is great at helping her younger brother sort his various problems, which means I don't have to worry about him getting bad advice from people who don't really have his best interests at heart (Yes, thay fought like cat and dog when younger!!)

 

Son is 25 in June and just beginning to look for his own place nearer his work (an hour or so down the Motorway, unsociable hours), I'll miss him, too, but will be proud he has overcome many problems to make his own way in the world.

 

I'm sure you'll soon have the best of all worlds, let us know how you get on!

 

Sue

[Beau]

Good luck Dawn. I'm sure you'll have a great time living your own life and meeting new people.

[Guest]

Good luck Dawn

I can still remember that feeling of excitement and scared butterflies in the stomach. It will do your relationship with your mum a world of good, the times you spend together will be special.

I am just going through the same thing with my son at 22 he is working away for short periods of time until they find him a permanent place.

 

Still have one to go but am looking forward to the time when me and my husband can decide to go away for a weekend without having to think is there something for the kids to do.

We are quite happy to have a walk and a pub lunch, but thats not entertaining enough for children.

so I am looking forward to my golden years!!!!!

[Guest]

My eldest is due to start uni in the Autumn and she has been flapping her wings for months now... she's fiercely independant which is great. She's ready to go and I am, at the moment, ready for her to go! I hope that's a sign that my husband and I have prepared her well for the next stage of her life. Someone told me a long time ago that our children are only on loan and in a way I find that helpful. I agree with what someone else posted earlier, if I had to live with my mum and dad now, sparks would definitely fly! I can't have it both ways can I.