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Mothers Day


Rea
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To all the mom's out there...Have a wonderful, pampered day.

 

 

Found this which I just might put in my mom's card!!

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Things Mom Would Never Say

 

 

"How on earth can you see the TV sitting so far back?"

 

 

"Yeah, I used to skip school a lot, too"

 

 

"Just leave all the lights on ... it makes the house look more cheery"

 

 

"Let me smell that shirt -- Yeah, it's good for another week"

 

 

"Go ahead and keep that stray dog, honey. I'll be glad to feed and walk him every day"

 

 

"Well, if Timmy's mom says it's OK, that's good enough for me."

 

 

"The curfew is just a general time to shoot for. It's not like I'm running a prison around here."

 

 

"I don't have a tissue with me ... just use your sleeve"

 

 

"Don't bother wearing a jacket - the wind-chill is bound to improve"

:D

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Happy mother's day to all of you who are mums. And a general happy Sunday to those of you who aren't!

Linda

PS The weather here is awful so take care if you are out and about!

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Seeing as we've been in a humorous mood lately ...I've attached

A Mother's Dictionary:

 

Bottle feeding: An opportunity for Daddy to get up at 2 am too.

 

Defense: What you'd better have around de yard if you're going to let the children play outside.

 

Drooling: How teething babies wash their chins.

 

Dumbwaiter: One who asks if the kids would care to order dessert.

 

Family planning: The art of spacing your children the proper distance apart to keep you on the edge of financial disaster

 

Feedback: The inevitable result when the baby doesn't appreciate the strained carrots.

 

Full name: What you call your child when you're mad at him.

 

Grandparents: The people who think your children are wonderful even though they're sure you're not raising them right.

 

Hearsay: What toddlers do when anyone mutters a dirty word.

 

Impregnable: A woman whose memory of labor is still vivid.

 

Independent: How we want our children to be as long as they do everything we say.

 

Look out: What it's too late for your child to do by the time you scream it.

 

Prenatal: When your life was still somewhat your own.

 

Preprared childbirth: A contradiction in terms.

 

Puddle: A small body of water that draws other small bodies wearing dry shoes into it.

 

Show off: A child who is more talented than yours.

 

Sterilize: What you do to your first baby's pacifier by boiling it and to your last baby's pacifier by blowing on it.

 

Storeroom: The distance required between the supermarket aisles so that children in shopping carts can't quite reach anything.

 

Temper tantrums: What you should keep to a minimum so as to not upset the children.

 

Top bunk: Where you should never put a child wearing Superman jammies.

 

Two-minute warning: When the baby's face turns red and she begins to make those familiar grunting noises.

 

Verbal: Able to whine in words

 

Whodunit: None of the kids that live in your house.

 

Whoops: An exclamation that translates roughly into "get a sponge."

 

 

 

And here's 'Things my mother taught me':

 

To Value A Job Well Done"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."

 

Time Travel"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"

 

Logic"Because I said so, that's why."

 

Foresight

"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."

 

Irony"Keep crying and I'll give you something to cry about."

 

Osmosis"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."

 

Stamina"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."

 

Weather

"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."

 

Hypocrisy

"If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"

 

Circle Of Life

"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

 

Behavior Modification

"Stop acting like your father!"

 

Envy

"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do."

 

Anticipation

"Just wait until we get home."

 

Receiving

"You are going to get it when you get home!"

 

Medical Science

"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that way."

 

How To Become An Adult

"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

Genetics

"You're just like your father."

 

Wisdom

"When you get to be my age, you'll understand."

 

Justice

"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you"

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