hali Posted January 19, 2007 Share Posted January 19, 2007 What a week...what with unruley children, high winds, no hot water, college closed with assignments due in, fences blown down, unmotivated staff who need a kick ... just glad its friday evening with my large glass of red!!! have a good weekend all Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted January 19, 2007 Share Posted January 19, 2007 oh Hali, sounds like a mad week.... the wind has been mad, we are in the middle of a building development at present, fences, and rubble were blowing everywhere, two builders injured and two of our staff members car damaged by flying fences so total madness, thankfully its calmed down. so friday evening, time for a DVD and a pile of chocolate YUM YUM! Have a nice relaxing weekend Dawn Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted January 19, 2007 Share Posted January 19, 2007 January is certainly taking it's toll. I don't remember any other January being quite as hard to get into. Every staff member has been off sick since the new year - except me (mustn't speak too soon!!). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted January 19, 2007 Share Posted January 19, 2007 Gentle intro to the week on Monday. Tuesday I had a visit from a social worker and police officer. A 3 yr old child from my setting when asked by parents at the weekend why he had a back ache he said " When I dropped a puzzle Peggy was cross and hurt my back" or words to that effect, so they reported the 'disclosure to the police, hence the visit. I didn't handle it well, due to shock, very nice SW but at the end of the day, the 'allegation is now on my file. The child didn't know when I supposedly hurt his back, and I didn't even know the parents had taken the child out of my preschool. I thought he was absent on Monday due to illness. The thing that shocked and upset me most was that the parents hadn't felt able to speak to me about what their child had said. :wacko: He only started September and I have worked really hard settling him, which he did quite quickly to his mothers amazement, even wanting a cuddle goodbye from me after every session ( she knew him as a shy, reserved child). The family recently had a bereavement and I went out of my way to offer support, sympathy and additional sessions as and when needed ( as you do) Repercussions of the disclosure was that I had to report it to my fostering agency and Ofsted. Both were 'proffesional' but very understanding when I said how I now feel very vulnerable. I don't even feel bad toward the parents, my Child protection policy is clearly explained, I say if I have concerns I would speak to parents if appropriatte and would report if I felt it necessary and I would expect parents to do the same should they have any concerns about me or any staff at preschool, however I would ask that they discuss any concerns with me. They have just responded to their childs disclosure, in this way, because they did not know what else to do, they have listened to their child and that is what is paramount. I cannot even recall an incident at preschool, or any way he could have sustained an injury to his back. he does suffer bowel problems. His father is very protective, didn't really want him to attend preschool, no permission for local walks, even Nan isn't allowed to take him to the park. So, I think it is more fathers reaction than Mums. The worst thing is that this will stay on file with my foster agency and Ofsted. I remember last Thursday as being a really good day, the children were so well behaved, purposeful in their play that we didn't stop for register or story. At these times I thought I'm not going to stop play, they are all too engrossed in their play. Don't think I've ever had a day like that since I opened 5 yrs ago. Local Teacher advisor arrived to ask if I would support her course she was putting on about heuristic/sensory play, could students come to my setting on an 'open day' to see my wonderful resources ( her words not mine) appently LEA have done a local audit and this area of childrens experiences is lacking in our locality so could they use me to show good practice. Wednesday fence in garden ( at home) totally gone, tempory metal grill now in it's place. Thursday, supplies order arrived incomplete , do they ever get it right first time?? Evening call from Ultraversity about my degree, sounds really good but will cost £3600, for the 3 yrs, hope to get APL for 1st year. Friday Call from Ofsted following my call to them re: Tuesday, they may get back to me for more info, but will talk to social worker investigator first, but I did the right thing by reporting it ( they hadn't heard from police or social worker following Tuesdays interview). Went to local library after work to get free story box for my 4 year olds. Got home to find out one of the foster lads staying with us has been moved, nearer to his school which he hasn't been able to attend since being with us. He got an hours notice, and I didn't get to say goodbye :rolleyes: Have heard that snow is due next Tuesday. Back on the trampoline with leather trousers :unsure: Hali, I've already done 3 glasses of white wine. and intend to have a quiet, non eventful weekend..........we shall see Peggy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted January 19, 2007 Share Posted January 19, 2007 Gosh Peggy - can't imagine how you must be feeling. Lots of love coming down the telephone wires x Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lorna Posted January 19, 2007 Share Posted January 19, 2007 Sorry to hear about your bad week Peggy. Try and stay positive and have a relaxing weekend. L Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted January 19, 2007 Share Posted January 19, 2007 Thanks ShelleyL, slightly sozzled right now if I'm honest. And if I can tear myself away from the forum I might even get changed out of my work gear and go up the pub. Sorry to highjack your post hali, wasn't going to 'share' my experience but thanks for giving me an opening to unload and get some closure on my week Peggy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marion Posted January 19, 2007 Share Posted January 19, 2007 Sorry to hear about your week try to have a good weekend Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted January 19, 2007 Share Posted January 19, 2007 So sorry to hear about your week sending you my most heartfelt wishes x jojom x Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hali Posted January 19, 2007 Author Share Posted January 19, 2007 your very welcome peggy glad you ofloaded it, lots of hugs and ill have another glass for you hic hic Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JacquieL Posted January 19, 2007 Share Posted January 19, 2007 Oh Peggy how awful for you lots of hugs from me (((((Peggy))))) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted January 19, 2007 Share Posted January 19, 2007 Poor Peggy - what a week! We were just talking about this sort of situation today when trying to persuade two TAs that they should join a union. We are so vulnerable when working with small cihildren. I do so hope it all sorts itself out for you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rea Posted January 19, 2007 Share Posted January 19, 2007 Hali, my son told me yesterday that scientists reckon January the 23rd is the most depressing day in the calender. Apparently we've no money and the dark days and bad weather keep us down. You are almost there, keep plugging away, 4 days left and the depression will lift, the staff will remember why they are there which will help the childrens behaviour, the weather will settle, the engineer will fix the water and your assignment will achieve all you could wish Peggy, the complaint against you is bad and I really feel for you, but we who work in this business understand it can happen and so have policies and procedures in place. We deal and hopefully are dealt with in a professional manner. Parents, as you say, have the recourse to go past us with a complaint and unfortunatly in this case thats happened. I really hope things work out well for you Giving your young man just an hour to leave and you not being able to say goodbye, is in my opinion, the real tradegy in your week. Presumably he understands you were at work and werent given any notice and so will understand things form your point of view but what an appalling way to treat a child who is in the circumstance of needing a foster carer in the first place. How do SS expect these people to make friendships or relationships of any kind if they can be uprooted in such a way? Sending good wishes for you in the case of the complaint, your fostering, tomorrows hangover and snow on Tuesday Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Andreamay Posted January 19, 2007 Share Posted January 19, 2007 sending my love to you peggy you know I have lots of respect for you It is the pits when this happens but alarm bells are ringing about dad take care x Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted January 19, 2007 Share Posted January 19, 2007 Oh Peggy, what a thing to happen, it's everyone's worst nightmare. What is it about life? - You think things are going well and something like this is around the corner. Thinking of you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted January 19, 2007 Share Posted January 19, 2007 And I thought my week had been bad! One of my staff handed in her notice yesterday so I have to start looking for somebody having just gone through all of this two months ago. And then a tree blew down right across the car park at pre-school-and I am talking big tree here. Fortunately it was in the afternoon after we had finished but there were two cars underneath it. Of couse the children thought it was amazing! It is supposed to be going on Monday-I just hope it is in the morning and we get a chance to watch-from a very safe distance of course. Hope things improve for you soon Peggy. Linda Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deb Posted January 19, 2007 Share Posted January 19, 2007 Peggy I would be devasted if somebody accused me of shouting at their child or hurting their child's back. I feel this could happen to any of us. I sometimes feel rather clumsy, children trip over my big size 8 feet as I kneel on the floor, I sometimes stand up not realizing a child is behind me and bump into them (still think I'm a size 14) , the list goes on - a child could easily say I'd hurt them. Yes children should be protected and listened to but at the same time we know they do also get it wrong. Alarm bells ringing for me too about such a protective Dad. Sending you a huge hug! As for taking your foster child away at an hour's notice, without saying goodbye, I simply cannot comprehend any body who works with children, treating them in this way! Is the child coming back? Have you had an opportunity to speak to them face to face to let them know that although disappointed they couldn't speak to you about it and are devasted by the accusation, you welcome the process to enable you to clear your good name? And then a tree blew down right across the car park at pre-school-and I am talking big tree here. Fortunately it was in the afternoon after we had finished but there were two cars underneath it. Of couse the children thought it was amazing! It is supposed to be going on Monday-I just hope it is in the morning and we get a chance to watch-from a very safe distance of course. In the next county, a tree fell on a mother and one of the two children she was collecting from a nursery as she walked across the car par. Both went to hospital, I haven't hreard today how they both are but I hope they are not serious injuries. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
narnia Posted January 20, 2007 Share Posted January 20, 2007 Peggy, I'm sorry to hear about the allegations too, and hope that all will be sorted out quickly. As to your foster child, I hope oyou get the opportunity to say goodbye to him properly....can the SW arrange a get-together for a farewell lunch or something similar??Or, at the very least, can you send him a card, wishing him well in his new home and at his school etc?? Life seems to have a habit of jumping up and taking a large bite out of your bottom sometimes, but things usually heal quickly, so try not to let it get you down! As YOU know you've done nothing wrong, hold your head up and smile , it will sort itself out xx Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest MaryEMac Posted January 20, 2007 Share Posted January 20, 2007 Peggy, I was so sorry to hear about your week. I can't imagine how you are feeling with regard to the allegation of hurting a child. Sending my best wishes for a speedy conclusion to this incident. Hope you manage to make some contact with your foster son to say good bye properly, and they say social workers have the best interests of the children at heart !! Keep your chin up and keep us posted. Mary Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted January 20, 2007 Share Posted January 20, 2007 Peggy, what can I say, sending you sooooooo much love and hugs, these things are sent to try us!! Puts my week into perspective, a friend has died of throat cancer (father of four children aged 17 doWn to 12 yrs! )and it has stunned the village, talk about January blues, I am currently sinking in a huge glass of wine, and intend to carry on like that for the evening, if I post after this time I apoligise beforehand for grammatical and spelling errors!! Keep smiling forum friends!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hali Posted January 20, 2007 Author Share Posted January 20, 2007 (edited) oh shireb how dreadful not surpised your having a glass Edited January 21, 2007 by hali Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deb Posted January 20, 2007 Share Posted January 20, 2007 So sorry to hear your sad news Shirel, those poor children. Had some sad news beginning of the week too. My cousins' son was killed in a car crash. We are a very large family and I haven't seen him for many, many years but my heart goes out to his parents for their tragic loss, every parents worst nightmare. They have been very much in my thoughts. More wine I think. Time to count our blessings and hold them close. with love Deb Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted January 21, 2007 Share Posted January 21, 2007 Shirel and Deb, so sorry to hear of your losses. I had far too many wines (and Rums) on Friday night, slept until 2pm Saturday, had a quick look on here, then slept another 3 hours until I eventually emerged at 6pm ready for supper hubby cooked for me. I didn't realise how exhausted I was. ( back in bed by 9:30) s Today is a new day, and tomorrow a new week. Thank you to everyones words of comfort. My thought are now with the families who have lost loved ones recently, as I just said, I have today and tomorrow and am able to move on, for some this is so unfortunately not possible. Peggy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deb Posted January 21, 2007 Share Posted January 21, 2007 Hi Peggy Have been thinking about your situation. Do you anticipate any repurcussions when you return on Monday from other parents? If so, have you thought about how you are going to deal with them and can we help in any way? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted January 21, 2007 Share Posted January 21, 2007 Hi Peggy Have been thinking about your situation. Do you anticipate any repurcussions when you return on Monday from other parents? If so, have you thought about how you are going to deal with them and can we help in any way? Thanks for asking Deb but I don't think there will be any repercussions because the parents chose to take their child out, so he hasn't been in for a whole week. My catchment area is quite wide, and the family live about 5 miles away, so not like it is a local gossip problem. The parents even told the Social worker that they had no complaints about me or the preschool and how well their son had settled etc. They just didn't know how to respond to their sons disclosure other than phone the police. The surprising thing was it just came out of the blue. I still don't understand why they didn't feel able to talk to me, I had many 'personal' discussions with mum about the boys medical problems, a recent family bereavement, their plans to move home soon ( still local), so mum had a good communication relationship with me prior to the lads comments. I am getting all his achievement file, obs, photo's art work etc together to send to the parents. I shall write them a letter today, of which I shall send a copy to Ofsted. I just hope the boy settles in to his new preschool, he is very shy and has a toileting problem which shows more when he is anxious. It all just seems a bit strange to me and I am trying not to dwell too much on it, because it is one of those situations that I think I will never get the true answer to. No other parents have asked where the lad is, if they do I shall just say he has moved. One of my main concerns was the implications to my fostering work, but my foster agency have been very good and supportive, although the info ( as little as it is) will remain on my file and have to be disclosed to any local authorities prior to children being considered for placing with us. Peggy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Andreamay Posted January 21, 2007 Share Posted January 21, 2007 That is what is so unjust isnt it? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hali Posted January 25, 2007 Author Share Posted January 25, 2007 ok...why did i add this post last week........ this week my nan has been rushed into hospital with suspected stroke (she is 98 in March) ...and my dad (only he could do this) last July fell down a rabbit hole walking the dog, been for loads of checkup as has limped ever since and on the same day as my nan went into hospital went to a different hopsital 20 miles apart to have surgery on his foot ...so poor mum and me are rushing aboiut betwween hospitals...agggghhhhhhh (could have put them in the same one) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted January 25, 2007 Share Posted January 25, 2007 commiserations Hali. (spelling) and just think, next week it can only get better. Just found out my uncle died today, Mums brother, he is far away in Australia. My first thought was trying to encourage mum to visit him a few years ago, which she never did. He moved out there about 30 years ago, doctors recomendation to live in a better climate due to severe asthma. He was in his 70's and had an adventurist life. Peggy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hali Posted January 25, 2007 Author Share Posted January 25, 2007 ow i am sorry peggy but hopefullynthere he enjoyed his years Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lou Posted January 26, 2007 Share Posted January 26, 2007 Oh dear i hope everyones year gets better. Peggy, parents have a knee jerk reaction to things they dont know how to deal with. If they had just spoken to you first. It does seem very unjust it has to go on your record when the outcome was in your favour. Sending you all my best wishes. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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