Does safeguarding training make us different from other people?

[HoneyPancakes]

I've upset my friend! She doesn't work with children and we see an issue very differently. Her eleven year old son has been exposed to some particularly nasty pornography at school on another child's phone. Due to a messy divorce her son has been having counselling at school and my friend does not was to bring the subject up with the school in case it reflects further on him, and also because she has told her son that she won't tell anyone else - including his father.

 

It never occurred to me that she wouldn't be happy to report to social services. Seemed pretty straightforward to me. I argued that the other child might well be neglected and need support put in around him. She retorted that the school already know how awful the other child is and is completely powerless to do anything about it. I said that I wanted to challenge her a bit on the subject and tried to guide her as to how to proceed. She came back that she had enough challenges and she'd promised she wouldn't say anything and that was the end of it.

 

We've exchanged make-up texts, but I'm still a bit in shock that our views were so far apart. I don't want to drop the subject completely, but feel I might. Are we in the world of children and vulnerable people over sensitive to the rough and tumble of real life? Am I?

 

I'd be interested in your views on the subject,

 

Honey

[thumperrabbit]

I know what you mean ...

My hubby has often said to me that I 'always seem to see the bad' side of everything

I have moved from Early Years now into working within primary school and I can't believe the difference, so far in my short experience they are far more relaxed on just about everything!

I think in Early Years we (you!) tick just about every box and make sure you cover yourselves for everything, when I mention things at work now people look at me as if I'm mad - well maybe I am just a little

[Mouseketeer]

I always remember at my first safeguard training the trainer telling us about a child who hated going home from school every Thursday, staff had managed to find out that mums new boyfriend went to the house every Thursday evening, we had to do the usual work in a team think about why the child was so upset about going home on a Thursday...we obviously listed all the worst secenarios we could imagin and the reason turned out to be that the boyfriend did come round every Thursday night and cooked them all spaghetti bolognaise and the child hated spaghetti bolognaise, the moral being that we shouldn't jump straight to the worst conclusions ...but we all do, it's 2nd nature to question everything, how many times do you find yourself watching a child when out wondering who is actually with that child and can't move on until someone claims it

 

I'd be with you on this, the school should be made aware, how many other children are being shown what your friends child was shown, the child having a mobile in school raises other concerns,the child also needs protecting, a difficult position for you to have been put in

Edited June 13, 2017 by Mouseketeer

[Stargrower]

I understand what others are saying about assuming the worst and also that friendships are precious and we don't want to upset people, but if an 11 year old is being shown pornography at school, then the school need to know. In my mind there is not a choice.