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Help Please....very Clingy 2 year old


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Hi everyone

I need some advice, one of our 2 year olds has developed an unhealthy obsession with his key worker. He screams her name when she leaves the room, wont allow anyone else to change his nappy without kicking, hitting or fighting his way off the changing table. Can get quite spiteful in the afternoon towards another children that approach her. He refers to her as 'My ***'

He has been coming to us and had the same key worker for the past year and nothing within the setting has changed.

I have never had this to this extent within a setting and i have worked in childcare for the past 14 years.

Any help will be welcomed

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Have you spoken to the parents and asked if anything has unsettled him at home?

It does sound like he's feeling quite insecure for some reason. It must be hard for the key worker to manage his behaviour without making him feel even less secure.

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Hi Upsy Daisy

Mom is very aware of his behaviour at the setting and has assured us there is nothing going on.

Its incredibly hard for her, our staff room is right next to the room he is in and you can hear him through the wall.

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Poor baby! I think he needs a heavy dose of reassurance, consistency, empathy and predictability and a long drawn out episode of working on his trust (I suspect you are doing this already!!!)....he just needs to TRUST....to feel some sense of control over situations he comes across...maybe two key people that can work in tandem when one is on lunch, the other is there to support......Tough on you guys BUT boy does he need it....I feel for the little mite!! ahh!! :( :(

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We had a similiar situation with a 2 year old. Eventually we did use two people as it was getting exhausting for his key person. The other person would take him occasionally and his key person would disappear for a while. She also didn't make quite so much fuss of him when she was around so she would acknowledge him and let him sit beside her or even on her knee but give others around her her undivided attention. After a while he did settle down.

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I think it is better if another member of staff supports the key person, time out, also sometimes I find children are mollycoddled too much and you have to be more firm without being unkind. be there for the child but only pick them up when they are calm. and continue to praise. It's hard and there is no easy answer.

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not time out for bad behavior !!! Time out for the member of staff, give them a break. If they were off sick someone else would have to deal with the child.

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not time out for bad behavior !!! Time out for the member of staff, give them a break. If they were off sick someone else would have to deal with the child.

Good point, Extension - and this is where a paired and shared key caring system comes into its own.

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