Nursery Rhymes - How To Encourage A Child To Join In?

[Guest terrydoo73]

We have a child who has been with us over a year now and it is like he is digging in his heels so we want to try and encourage him in participation at our nursery rhymes. He will quite openly say "I'm not doing that". We know from what his family is saying that he can recite all the rhymes at home but when it comes to our time he will not open his mouth or do the actions. His action is now making other children replicate this action so that we have children lying over the sofa doing nothing for 5 minutes while the others keenly participate.

 

We have tried asking one of our other children who likes to fling and kick during this time (see other thread) to move away from the circle and sit to one side giving him the option of continuing to kick and fling but away from everyone else so as to avoid knocks bumps bruises etc. This has worked with the result that he doesn't really like being outside the circle so will come back in and participate with everyone else.

 

Should we be trying this with our child who refuses to do nursery rhymes. We couldn't go outside yesterday because it was lashing down so did a bit of physical moving inside the playroom just to burn off energy. Things like Simon Says and this child said out loud "I'm not doing that" and we asked him to move to the couch and sit quietly which he did without any interference. Is it just letting him continue with this behaviour? Should we not be trying to see progress? In what way would you suggest we try and make progress with him?

[Stargrower]

Does the progress you want to see involve the nursery rhymes? If you know he can say/sing them at home, is this evidence that he has learned them? Or is the progress more about conforming or doing as he is asked? It depends what you want him to get from the experience I guess.

Beehive

[Susan]

I dont think you can really make him join in that activity, if he really doesnt want to. Is there some other way you could involve him though so as to avoid the disruptive effect, ask him to help you in some way perhaps? Maybe, he could choose the songs?

Can you increase or change your songs?

[Rea]

I wouldnt make him take part terrydoo, I hated singing or performing in any way when I was little, still do really, I dreaded when it was time to read out loud, take part in an assembly, sing, or do anything where I was the focus.

At playgroup they have a bag of props and ask who would like to sing today, the children take turns but if they dont want to then thats fine, an adult will try to help them quietly with the actions and just encourage them to join in, but of curse some never do, me for one :1b

[Upsy Daisy]

.....we have children lying over the sofa doing nothing for 5 minutes while the others keenly participate.

 

We have tried asking one of our other children who likes to fling and kick during this time (see other thread) to move away from the circle and sit to one side giving him the option of continuing to kick and fling but away from everyone else so as to avoid knocks bumps bruises etc. This has worked with the result that he doesn't really like being outside the circle so will come back in and participate with everyone else.

 

we asked him to move to the couch and sit quietly which he did without any interference. Is it just letting him continue with this behaviour?

 

So you have some children choosing not to sing nursery rhymes but sitting quietly on a sofa while others enjoy the activity, one child who was disrupting this part of the session but who now chooses to participate appropriately and one who chooses not to participate in this and some other activities but, when asked, sits quietly watching while others enjoy the activity.

 

This sounds like pretty successful behaviour management to me.

 

When someone describes a child as digging his heels in there is usually some perceived pressure that they are resisting. Maybe you need to try to see your role as offering the children appropriate choices so they don't feel that there is a force they need to resist.

 

Children can still benefit from stories/nursery rhymes/circle time activities without participating in them. Why do you feel the need to ensure that they all join in?

 

If a child chooses not to participate in certain activities but is willing to sit quietly and wait, perhaps he will decide to join in on a future occasion. He should be supported in his decision and praised for making an appropriate choice by sitting quietly as he was asked. I'm not saying that you are being unsupportive and maybe you did praise him. I'm saying that the progress you want to see will probably happen if you carry on allowing him to lead the process.

[Guest terrydoo73]

Well I did a bit of observing on this child today whilst during rhyme time. We had a story he was interested in - Roary the racing car and he was sitting up all eagle eyed to see the pictures and watch what was going to happen in the story. Then we moved into a nursery rhyme. I asked a chid for the favourite rhyme and we did that. Then I turned to this child and he just looked at me and shook the head. He moved himself down so that he was half lying on the chair. I moved onto another child and just ignored his behaviour. Yes we know he sings them at home - we have even heard him reciting one while at play with play dough and when he realises we are listening or watching he stops immediately. We saw this behaviour of refusing to participate in another thing today - we had the parachute outside and all the children were really enjoying it watching a soft toy bouncing up and down. This child had retrieved the toy a few times from the ground and when other children took their turn he pulled out of holding onto the parachute and said "I'm not playing anymore". We explained that we needed everyone to help as the parachute would get up into the air and we would lose it - he immediately joined in. I think his behaviour is a bit of attention seeking - the children at rhyme time will even try to encourage him to join in but he makes a point of saying "no I won't". So yes we will ease off for a while, ignore the behaviour and if that is what he wants try to ensure that everyone else really loves it and we could write an observation on them all that they really enjoy the rhyme time each day!

[Rea]

It sounds like you're having some success terrydoo.

My youngest son was a loveable rogue (not my name for him!) he would only do what was asked if he thought he was being grown up and helpful. He would walk with my mom all day if he thought it was to help her from falling over.