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Tapestry

Anyone Working With Family?


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My mother and I opened a setting back in 2006, my mum had the qualifications but little experience in childcare, and NO experience in management, whereas I was working as an area manager for a nursery chain before opening Cookie Jar. I did everything to start up the setting, all the policies & procedures, paperwork, everything with Ofsted ETC ETC, in 2008 (the setting was running beautifully) I left to manage a large failing nursery (the challenge tempted me), in the time that I was gone the standards back at the Cookie Jar slipped dramatically, in June the LEA carried out a quality review and judged the setting at a 3a, it was decided that I would return on an interim p/time basis to boost the standards, (the staff just needed a bit of tough love, and some consequences).

 

The person I disagree with most often (and end up in heated arguments with) is my mother. Its becoming constant. She feels that I've waltzed in and 'changed' everything, and in the next breath exclaims about how she wants to take a back seat from running it. Truth is her heart isn't in it any more I don't think; yet my heart is fully in it. I'm so passionate about the success of the setting.

 

I don't know if there's much point to my post, I guess I just needed to off load to people in the same job. Anyone else working with family?

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gosh, didn't want to read and run, but that must be tricky xx Are you able to have a frank conversation with her off the record about whether her heart is in it anymore?

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Most situations it is 'the other way around' . Mum and child working for them ..

 

It could be that the two comments "She feels that I've waltzed in and 'changed' everything, and in the next breath exclaims about how she wants to take a back seat from running it." are linked...

 

if all is changing , inadequacy creeps in and hence the why? and take a back seat.. particularly when it is your own child doing the changes.. no matter how good the relationship and respect is it swapped at work and is more likely to have 'hidden' issues which may never show but could be there.

 

I am assuming you have done all the changes in consultation and inclusion of the staff in them, has it all been too much too fast...

 

probably is time for that difficult chat about what is happening and how the setting is to progress , does she really want to step back or be enabled to do the changes along side... could be a turning point for the setting...

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Oh yes - working with family :o

 

Seriously though I am the owner and day to day manger of the setting and both my mum and daughter work for me (glutton for punishment me thinks).

 

We have very definite lines of demarkation though - at work I am the head honcho and I have to make it very clear that mum and daughter are members of staff and make sure that I treat them no differently to any other staff member - by the same token they have to respect my position whilst at work too.

 

Before either of them started working for me we had open and frank discussions about what it would mean, what the ground rules were and how family ties were "parked" at the front door. After hours its a complete reversal and I have to remember to return to being someone's daughter and someone's mum too and not stay in head honcho mode. I will confess I don't always remember however both parties will remind me if I "forget" to tune into the right mode.

 

Perhaps a good heart to heart with your mum with both of you laying your cards on the table in respect of roles and responsibilities might be in order. Good luck xD

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Hi, I feel your pain! :o I manage a private day nursery that is owned by my sister. She is very involved with the day to day running and this definetly causes some disagreements. The main one being that she is mainly concerned with profit where as I am mainly concerned with quality of our provision! We wanted to make the nursery a family-run business and it works well but sometimes I feel that I am fighting a losing battle.... xD

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