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Does anyone know of any good resources to support friendship issues. We're experiencing some real upsets around 'best friends' and who likes and dislikes who. I wondered if there might be any books perhaps that we could use to discuss friendships. We've tried endlessly talking about us all being friends but the message is not getting through.

 

Karen x

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I dont know if this would be any good but one of the observation methods I was taught was to ask the children to look at photos of all the children in the setting and ask you they liked to play with and say something about why. I saw a similar thing on a TV programme, it can be quite surprising.

I presume its girls who are having the problems? It usually is in in my experience. Thank goodness for boys, so much easier (I think) : )

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It's usually girls but surprisingly this time, the main issue is with one of the boys. Last year, he had a best friend (a girl) who has now moved onto school and now, he and his mum have selected a new best friend. The problem is that she is very popular and lots of people want to be her 'best' friend and he is having trouble accepting that he is not always her 'best' friend. I can only see it getting worse if we don't deal with it now.

 

I assume the book is Little Croc and Bird by Tony Maddox. Looks like it could be worth a try - thanks.

 

Karen x

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It's usually girls but surprisingly this time, the main issue is with one of the boys. Last year, he had a best friend (a girl) who has now moved onto school and now, he and his mum have selected a new best friend. The problem is that she is very popular and lots of people want to be her 'best' friend and he is having trouble accepting that he is not always her 'best' friend. I can only see it getting worse if we don't deal with it now.

 

I assume the book is Little Croc and Bird by Tony Maddox. Looks like it could be worth a try - thanks.

 

Karen x

 

Sorry - posted twice!

Edited by karenlatoy
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I'm slightly confused as to why 'he and his mum' have selected this new best friend. What's it got to do with his mum? (In the nicest possible way!) Perhaps having a word with her about the problem and getting her to talk it over with him at home might be a solution.

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Does anyone know of any good resources to support friendship issues. We're experiencing some real upsets around 'best friends' and who likes and dislikes who. I wondered if there might be any books perhaps that we could use to discuss friendships. We've tried endlessly talking about us all being friends but the message is not getting through.

 

Karen x

 

I realise that this isn't really an answer to your question.... but we have a lot of 'your not my friend, etc' and I always respond with a quick, "we don't have to be everyone's friend" (and why should we like everyone! :o ) "but we do have to be friendly, and that doesn't sound a very friendly thing to say" Very quickly stops this kind of talk - until the next time!

 

In the nicest way it can be a little confusing to suggest we are all friends - after all I don't like all the people I come across but I'd never be rude to them!

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You know, now I think about it I've used this before, but with year 6's. Two girls fell out and there was a little group of 'supporters' for each one. The teacher spend hours lecturing them on how everyone had to be friends etc, all the usual stuff. They came into my ICT lesson and each girl poured out her problems to me along with "Mrs X says we have to be friends, but Girl A is horrible". For exactly the same reasons as you I ended up saying firmly to each girl "You don't have to be friends. Just don't speak to each other if you don't have anything nice to say." Ten minutes later they were friends again after 2 days of arguing. All it needed was for someone to introduce the idea that they could just never be friends again to make them realise that actually they did want to be. Probably wouldn't work quite the same with younger children, but it's definitely something to think about, there are certainly plenty of people around who I wouldn't want to be friends with!

Edited by Guest
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