Lucie Posted August 30, 2010 Share Posted August 30, 2010 (edited) Hi! The situation is that Im getting married in October and I am inviting my grandparents brothers and sisters to the reception, at their request - but I do see them frequently as family is quite close. I know already that some of these people are coming to church to see the ceremony, which is great, and they know that because we have a large family it is totally undoable to invite them to join us for the meal afterwards. All fine and good. But, my grandparents have aked me to put a note into the evening invites for family to say that they are welcome at church - agin this is fine and Im happy for them to share the ceremony, but I've done the invites now (not sent) to inite them to evening do and I don't know how to word a little card to put in with them to explain. Do you understand, can you help me word it, so I don't sound rude. I know they understand that we have a big family and its just not possible and at the end of the day they are great aunts and uncles, not immediate friends and family. But my gran is making the dresses and they ll want to see and I just want them to know its ok. ????? ????? Lucie x Edited August 30, 2010 by Lucie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fredbear Posted August 30, 2010 Share Posted August 30, 2010 Hi Lucie i know it appears a difficult one to manage but something like, Lucie and .......... would love to see you at the church,time etc, and to our evening reception. Or send the original evening reception card invites with a little note inside which can just say Lucie and ....................would be pleased to see you at the church, time etc. Lucie remember it is you and your partners day and people really do understand you cannot invite everybody. Have a glorious day and congratulations. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Susan Posted August 30, 2010 Share Posted August 30, 2010 oh Lucie, congratulations on the big day. Personally I would have classed the great aunts and uncles as important family but wedding numbers can be unweildy and it is always difficult to know where to draw lines when lines have to be drawn! Can you not just write--"All welcome at the church" and give those details if necessary. OR "we would be pleased to see you in church" Dont make this more difficult for yourself than it really is and let it spoil things for you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dublinbay Posted August 30, 2010 Share Posted August 30, 2010 I agree with Bridger's advice. Also, people will see the dresses at the ceremony and at the evening 'do'. At occasions like these you cannot hope to please everyone.......you must do what you can but don't feel guilty about your plans. Congratulations to you both and I'm sure your very special day will be fantastic. Good luck. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
louby loo Posted August 30, 2010 Share Posted August 30, 2010 Just to let you know.... that would be my 'dream' wedding invite!!!!! I HATE going to the meal bit. Could you make up a little poemy thing? just to make it light hearted? My friend was so pleased when I told her this. xxxxx Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Inge Posted August 30, 2010 Share Posted August 30, 2010 congratulations.. enjoy the day.. it will go so fast you may miss it! We recently attended a wedding where they sent out 2 invitations... one was to the church, the other to the reception, and they sent as appropriate.. so some had 2 invites, some had one or the other... we had 2 in our invite, as you are finding they could not cater for everyone in each place..( they had a small church and very limited funds for reception.. ) but I would just include a note/ invite saying - all welcome in church giving time location etc. Inge Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fimbo Posted August 30, 2010 Share Posted August 30, 2010 you need to word it in such a way that they understand they are only coming to the church and not to the wedding breakfast -as you may end up with extra people coming to the meal that you hadnt expected. if i had an invite to the church i would automatically assume i would be going to the meal too ! hope it all goes well- i have the task of planning our wedding soon -and im getting stressed already !! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
narnia Posted August 30, 2010 Share Posted August 30, 2010 My daughter simply put a note out to all friends and family, saying ' as you know X and I are getting married on... at...... As we're on a very tight budget, we are having a small gathering for close family only in the evening, but we'd be thrilled if you would come to the church to share the ceremony with us'. Everyone understands that things are tight nowadays and no-one was offended. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fay Posted August 30, 2010 Share Posted August 30, 2010 Hi Lucy many congratulations, I hope everything goes well and you have a lovely day. Lots of people have made good suggestions, I have had several invites where there was a little card /note for each part of the wedding. I just wanted to add that I 'see' quite alot of weddings (bell ringer and vicar's wife) and it's very common for people to be invited to some of the celebrations, with only a few close family members/friends going to all. So don't worry your not being mean and people shouldn't think so. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted August 30, 2010 Share Posted August 30, 2010 My daughter simply put a note out to all friends and family, saying ' as you know X and I are getting married on... at...... As we're on a very tight budget, we are having a small gathering for close family only in the evening, but we'd be thrilled if you would come to the church to share the ceremony with us'. Everyone understands that things are tight nowadays and no-one was offended. Good plan! I bet this is becoming more the norm than huge weddings with the costs involved! Perhaps "We want to include as many family and friends in our special day as possible and would be thrilled if you could join us at ..............church for the ceremony and later at............... for the evening celebration" I wouldn't take offence if it were me! Nona Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted August 30, 2010 Share Posted August 30, 2010 I am in the same boat with my son and his partner. We are debating a civil ceremony in the morning lunch with just close family then candle light evening blessing followed by party with everyone. The hotel where they wanted the wedding breakfast was so expensive that they couldn't afford the meal, and they are not registered for civil weddings so we are looking at civil wedding in morning and what they call a re-taking of vows in the evening. You have to say the "I do " bit before 6 o'clock by Law which I didn't know. that is also the way that you can get married in a field of your choice!!!!! I wouldn't think people would think they were going to the wedding lunch if they haven't got it on the invite. but be specific and in this day and age when weddings cost so much people understand. Have a great time organising it thats part of the fun Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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