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Splitting Up Friends


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We had a parent today who asked if we would keep her child away from another child as he keeps getting hurt by him (not the other childs fault most of the time just accidents!) they are really good friends and play together all the time, the parent asked for us to take the child away and out of any contact or play with that child! what would you do????

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Wow how awful I think I'd get the parent in for a proper chat and make sure she realises these are just accidents and how important this other child is as a friend to her child. Sometimes children go home and tell their parents all sorts of things about what's going on in their settings that just aren't true because the parents heap attention on them for it! I'd definitely get her in for a chat and then see if she changes her mind, if not you'll have to tell her that whilst you can try you can't promise anything and that also it might result in upset for her child when he isn't allowed near his friend and is taken away from play he wants to do. Point out that it would be her child being taken away since you are not going to punish the other child in any way for the fact that he has had accidents!

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Mum came in for a chat and we have explained that the child will not be punished and only her child will suffer in the long run by getting upset ect... we do understand her concerns but as you say we can't promise anything, it's very sad as you get to watch their lovely play sometimes, mum wants a diary done on a daily basis and a reveiw of it next week!!

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Hi

 

I have felt over the years that children just want to talk about their friends, but seem to come out with negative comments.

 

You could perhaps have a circle time about being nice to friends. We sometimes let them choose who they sit next too and then in turn ask them to say something nice about the child sitting next to them. Nice for the staff to model this.

 

You could also pair the boys with other children for games and routines. Its nice to expand friendships.

 

If you explain to the Mum that you cannot possibly keep them separate all the time (unless someone is going to fund a one to one!) but will try different ways to progress this.

 

Maybe if you and the other staff record all incidents of the 'accidents' in one day you may find some useful info.

 

Good luck

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