Dramatic Change In Behaviour

[Guest]

I am asking this on behalf of someone, the child in question has recently changed their ehaviour dramatically for the worse. They have started coming home and saying amongst other things, you dont love me, i want to kill myself, i hate myself, i am fat etc she has lost all self confidence, does not want to do her work or go to school and is basically the opposite of the child she was.She is in yr 1. Nothing at home has changed, this is all the information I have so I am hoping anyone might have some theories or strategies or things to consider that might help this mum n dad x

[Guest]

Didn't want to read and run....

 

 

Just a quick comment about the need to fully record everything that has happened, verbatim. Your gut is probably telling yout something that you can't find evidence for - yet - keep the records and watch for a pattern. Here's hoping for a good resolution for everyone. Hope someone answers next with a better response.

[Rea]

Has mom spoken to the school? Sounds like she could be the victim of bullying, maybe not from her class but older children at playtime maybe.

What a shame for her

[Guest]

no she hasnt i did suggest she make n appointment with the class teacher. Recording is a good idea i will suggest that, thank youx

[narnia]

recording everything is a good idea, I agree...................also, does she have a mobile phone?? Is she being bullied by phone?? My grandaughter receives some absolutely horrid messages from other pupils at her schhol ( she's 14), and fortunately, is a very confident, clever girl who is able to tell them to ' leave me allone'......only she's not so polite.If it was happening to her younger brother, who is more sensitive, he would be in a real state.Get in to speak to teachers asap.

[HappyMaz]

These things sound quite extreme for a child in year one to say, but then I'm no expert. I would definitely be talking to the school, and also ask my doctor for an appointment with the Child and Mental Health Servce. I think keeping a diary of what she is saying and doing is a good idea because it can be difficult to separate emotion from fact when talking to professionals about what has been happening with your child. If all else fails and it becomes difficult to talk about you can just hand over the diary.

 

I hoope your friends get some help soon jennyrweny - they must be feeling very anxious about what their daughter is feeling.

 

Maz

[Guest]

My heart goes out to your friend as I'm there myself albeit with an older child. That said your post has brought back a memory of my child saying similar things and at about the same age. I'm not sayng things will also be bad when she is older but with my child it stemmed from the loss of her grandmother a few years earlier. At the time she coped really well but the move up to year one seemed to trigger something. We involved Macmillan counsellors who were fantastic (would recommend them to anyone who has children affected by cancer) and the situation was resolved almost as quickly as it started. I don't really know the answer but I just wanted to share my experience of something seemingly dealt with which resurfaced.

[Guest]

Definitely sounds like bullying to me.

 

Tell her to go in and speak to the school asap.

 

This is not normal for a 5/6 year old.

[Upsy Daisy]

Whatever the cause I would be concerned about this child's self esteem. She needs some support and someone needs to look very hard at what is going on in school. I would definitely talk to my GP and ask about the possibility of a referral to the Child and Adolescent Mental Health Service as Maz suggested. I may sound a bit over the top in response to a few comments but the wait for an appointment can be long and this little girl should not be left feeling this unhappy for any longer than necessary.

 

If the cause of the problem comes to light and is sorted quickly the referral can always be cancelled.

 

In the meantime I would be making sure there are lots of special times, hugs and little treats. Also using comments like I love you because..... or you are very special because... could help her to recognise her good qualities and boost her self-esteem a little.

 

I hope things improve for her soon.

[Guest]

these are all really brilliant suggestions and i will pass them on asap. she has had an appointment with the teacher after school today and i think these other odeas are def worth s go x thank you all for replying to this x