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Hello - would like your advice on the following

I 'm a childminder providing funded sessions to a 3 1/2 yr old. She came to me at 2yrs and 3mths and had only just begun walking and using 1 word utterances. Parents had had some contact with a physio (signed off) and SLT but had not taken up offer of support. At first review I gently raised the suggestion of seeking support from external agencies. It took another 9mths before apptment was made with HV who then referred to Paediatrician. Child fell asleep in apptment and was not properly assessed. Since then further apptments have been missed or not taken up, a further attempt at SLT for child to attend sessions has been turned down.

I've always advised parents to see specialists as a way of support for their child but at our latest review Mum confided that she had made the decision that seeking a "label" was not going to be helpful for her and I realised that this is the reason she does not want to seek specialist help.

My question is - I really respect this but do I stop pushing for support from external agencies or continue to suggest that involvement is going to help their child achieve her full potential? :o

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Hi DCN, Its a difficult one this but I think for the sake of the child you should keep gently suggesting to the parents. If they were refusing her medication for a condition it would be seen as neglect and whilst I am not for one minute suggesting they are neglecting the child it could (and I use the term very loosley) be tantamount to neglect. No doubt others will disagree but I am sure you will handle the situation with tact and diplomacy, you do know the family better than anyone else on here. I have a parent at the moment who are refusing to acknowldege their child has behaviour problems and in their words "he is a failure and not perfect"; so sad for the child and very hard not to be judgemental. Good luck!!

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I agree with janny1960, am having a similar problem myself and you have to look at it as preventing the child from achieving their full potential. DOn't give up you are diong the right thing for the child.

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Hello - would like your advice on the following

I 'm a childminder providing funded sessions to a 3 1/2 yr old. She came to me at 2yrs and 3mths and had only just begun walking and using 1 word utterances. Parents had had some contact with a physio (signed off) and SLT but had not taken up offer of support. At first review I gently raised the suggestion of seeking support from external agencies. It took another 9mths before apptment was made with HV who then referred to Paediatrician. Child fell asleep in apptment and was not properly assessed. Since then further apptments have been missed or not taken up, a further attempt at SLT for child to attend sessions has been turned down.

I've always advised parents to see specialists as a way of support for their child but at our latest review Mum confided that she had made the decision that seeking a "label" was not going to be helpful for her and I realised that this is the reason she does not want to seek specialist help.

My question is - I really respect this but do I stop pushing for support from external agencies or continue to suggest that involvement is going to help their child achieve her full potential? :o

What a difficult and sad situation for all involved - it sounds to me as though you are doing all you can, if I were you I would continue to talk to parents about the situation. Does she start school in September? If so I'm sure the school will be giving the same advice as you.

 

Sunnyday

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I wonder if you could suggest to the parent that by accepting support for the child, the family could help the child achieve their potential but that they didn't need to accept any attempt to label? A sort of treating the symptoms rather than diagnosing an illness for want of a better analogy. I do agree that it is hard not to agree with the parent, in that getting a label doesn't always help the situation. I have had experience of this too as well as the opposite, where the health professionals really didn't want to label but the parent did.

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Thank you for all your replies. It's such a minefield working with parents. As a childminder I often become friends with parents too and this makes it even more of a challenge as the boundaries are blurred between professionalism and friendship. I have just been on some brilliant training from an OT all about 'hidden senses' and how children seek the type of sensory stimulation to fulfill a need within them - bit of an aside there - but she basically told me that she provides outreach support for settings so I've arranged for her to visit me and have also got the SLT to visit after easter to support me with appropriate targets so feel like I'm doing my best and respecting the parents too

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