Settling In Problems

[Guest]

What do people think about this. Any help at all will do.

 

I teach a Reception Class of 30, and also lead the Foundation Stage. My Nursery is far away from Reception and I walk miles round the building to see them.

 

Today I spent some time with them. They have 26 children and 2 staff only. Odd students but that's it. I found them tearing their hair out with two new children who would not stop screaming. Both have been in for 2 weeks. They have been told to take in children all year round as soon as they turn 3 until full so therefore they are virtually settling in all year round. One staff member was taking care of a child making themself sick from crying, the other was dealing with a wet child, that left just the student in charge of all the rest!

 

Parents have been told they don't need to leave so children are not bonding with staff. I have my own opinions on the current settling in process. I actually think it is too long and that the children would better bond with the key workers if the parents actually left them there, but people above me in the school disagree and feel that the parents must stay as long as it takes.

 

I have worked with younger children in nurseries where of course we get parents to come in and stay and settle, but whenever I worked in schools with 3 year olds starting, we always got parents to prepare their children for their first day in advance, come and do a workshop visit with the child before summer and then on the first day to leave them with us. We've always managed to settle them in fine like this. This prolonged system of phoning mum when they cry to come back and staying as long as it takes just doesn't seem to work at all.

 

Any other views?

[Guest]

I'd say each childs settling in needs are individual, but your last sentence struck me, This prolonged system of phoning mum when they cry to come back and staying as long as it takes just doesn't seem to work at all.

 

If the parents are leaving, then being called back, to me this gives the children the message that if they cry they get mum back. I'd sooner use a system where the mum doesn't leave in the first place, staying until the child is settled. The bonding with keyworker encouraged alongside the parent, not as an alternative (keyworker instead of mum) for the child. This way they may settle sooner.

 

I do also agree with you that 'transition visits' and 'induction' are important, have these children experienced preschool before? The main aim of the settling in is to empower a sense of security within the child, maybe a buddy system where other children are encouraged to 'look after' the new ones in play?

 

In my preschool we had children starting throughout the year and actually found this easier than all new ones arriving 'en mass' so to speak.

The other difficulty they face is of course the adult/child ratio, which is very stretched and all I can offer there is sympathy. A 1-13 ratio is rally hard. Maybe having a parent for the initial start of the day is an extra pair of hands, maybe they could 'assertively negotiate' with the child mum will stay until ......time, then you will do .......with ......... firm but caring manner.

 

Peggy

 

Peggy

[hali]

i totally agree with Peggy, i ask parents to stay as long as is needed then wean them away for short periods of time with any unsettled childen - i have only once in 8 yrs had to ask a parent to leave after staying for 2 months (chld was quite happy) . Transitions are very important but i do understand how hard it must be with your ratios. good luck

[HappyMaz]

In Pen Green they insist that parents/carers/grandparents/childminders or anyone else close to the child stays for two weeks to enable the child to get used to the new setting with their familiar adult present and to facilitate relationship building between the child, carer and family worker.

 

Sally Thomas last week was saying that she feels parents should stay for much longer to settle their child at pre-school for the same reasons - so the child can see how welcome their grown ups are at the setting, and how all the adults in their life work together happily. If the child can see that mum thinks the people are nice then s/he will conclude they are 'ok' and that nursery is a good place to be.

 

These children have only been alive for 36 months and it can be difficult to understand why mum has gone off and left them! As Peggy says, crying can be an effective way of making mummy return - and this won't help them to understand that nursery is a place for them to attend on their own, safe in the knowledge that at a pre-determined time, mummy (or daddy) will come back and collect them.

 

It sounds as if the staff have a lot on their plate - perhaps you as a team need to decide how best to manage the tricky transition period because clearly everyone is under considerable stress at the moment. This is difficult I know when policies are imposed from the top down.

 

Maz

 

PS When you said 'odd students' did you meant students who are odd, or that you have students infrequently?

[Guest]

lol. I meant students are infrequent. They are not odd, they are good nice actually.

 

I understand all that fully and have in the past carried out many strategies regarding settling in, depending on the individual children. However, I have to say I do find that when parents are present for a prolonged period, children can be reluctant to bond with a key worker as mummy is there. Why on earth would you want someone else when your 3 when mummy is there?

 

I do think and thank you for all comments so far, that the ratios are actually the main problem here and I'm stuck with regards to what I can actually do about that. I think that the staff are so stretched managing the rest of the children that when a parent is there, they can't actually spend quality time settling in anyone else and thus this problem has arisen for them.

[HappyMaz]

I think that the staff are so stretched managing the rest of the children that when a parent is there, they can't actually spend quality time settling in anyone else and thus this problem has arisen for them.

Do you have any kindly grandmas or grandpas who might volunteer to spend some time supporting your staff both during this time and also throughout the year?

 

Maz

[Guest]

Last year we had lots of unsettled children -this year was a dream in comparison but its all down to individuals and how they respond. Unfortunately last year we had a number of children who turned out to be long projects in the settling in stakes !!!

The one thing I would like to add amongst all the good advice you have already had is one thing that has really worked for us .

When we have had a child really upset we ask Mum or Dad or Nan -whoever to stay with them for as many sessions as they need to settle in , days , weeks , some months - we say stay for an hour and then both of them go home together then come back next session an stay again till the child seems more confident . When we reach a point where the little one seems more settled we do - Mums just going to cut the fruit (in the kitchen ) or Mums going to the store room to eg cut out shapes .... so they are being separated if only for a brief time .

When we do reach a point where their carer can leave we say come back in an hour unless we call you sooner. If the child is really upset to the point they are distressed and we cant distract them we call the parent , but if not, Mum comes back after the pre -arranged hour and the child goes home even if they are having a really good time . We have found this is the key to the whole thing- short , sweet and leave the child wanting more so that they assosciate the setting with having a good time and ulimately want to return . This staying for an hour then extends till they are able to stay for longer periods of time without Mum.

Its the one time when golden rule -we work in partnership with our parents - really has to ring true as you are building a realtionship with parents too - they need to know that they can leave their child with someone they trust and cares about their child. Unfortunately , as we found last year, it can take quite a long time -hope this helps Liz

[Shiny]

As DizzyLizzy said it does depend on the intake. We allow parents/carers to stay for up to 10 sessions if required. Over the last 5 years we have had no takers and parents have left us to settle them, which they have all done really well over the last 5 years.

 

We had a large intake in September and one day we had 16 new starters. I am not sure what would happen if they all decided to stay, there would be 32 children, 6 members of staff and 16 parents. There would be not 'cat swinging' that day!!

[wellerkaren]

I agree with all the advice given, I would also like to add that in the past it is sometimes the parent that is having the troble leaving the child at the setting and the child picks up on this I have found that if the parent is content to leave the child then the child settles better.